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“May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.” Irish grandmothers are the best, you know? One minute they're putting the actual fear of God in you, using all three or four of your names, and the next they're slurring, red cheeked, and filling you with wisdom. I miss mine every minute [...]
If you read my book, you know I spent my summer after college working at an all-girls summer camp. Of the many magical things to come from that experience, one of the more profound was the involuntary twitch I get while watching people eat Ranch dressing. Every week ushered in a new group of girls, [...]
Okay, two important things. First, there is no tea in a Long Island Iced Tea. Why is this something no one talks about? Second, I don't know why I have been operating under the assumption that this was some sort of frilly light drink, because hand to God, these things will fuck shit up. There [...]
One. Two. Three charcuterie trays. There was a particularly poignant episode of the now-canceled series Raising Hope featuring a wife and her three brother-husbands, and while explaining their lifestyle to others said, "A relationship isn't a two-way street, Mike. It's a five-way intersection. " I use this quote an uncomfortable amount of times. Also, it applies to my [...]
OMG this girl with her incessant pizzas. What can I say, I have the palate of a college freshman. I make zero apologies for this. I also have three kids, and they live on pizza. The problem is, of the three pizza places we have in town, only one lets you order online. The other [...]