If you read my book, you know I spent my summer after college working at an all-girls summer camp.
Of the many magical things to come from that experience, one of the more profound was the involuntary twitch I get while watching people eat Ranch dressing.
Every week ushered in a new group of girls, and it was during a particularly sticky and sweltering session that I had a girl who enthusiastically spent every meal at the salad bar, placing 3-4 pieces of raw broccoli on her plate, and then drowning it in a pool of Ranch dressing.
Once the broccoli was gone, she held the plate to her lips and drank the Ranch the way people drink the leftover milk from their cereal.
It was so hot and humid outside, you guys, and the Ranch was so, so warm in that unair-conditioned dining hall.
I wouldn’t say I have an aversion to the stuff. I just don’t seek it out.
Except when it comes to a wedge salad. Lord, I can’t say no to a good wedge salad.
A salad that eats like a slab of meat? Yes please!
This “recipe” is obviously ridiculously easy. But it’s also something I’ve damn near perfected, and the perfect side to anything I grill.
Okay, here’s how I take the worst vegetable ever, and make it absolutely fucking amazing.
One head of iceberg lettuce, bacon, tomatoes, blue cheese crumbles, Ranch dressing, Blue Cheese Dressing (stay with me here), balsamic glaze, and red onion (not pictured).
Chop that lettuce into fourths. Or half. Or just eat a whole globe of lettuce. Do what brings you joy.
Let’s face it, iceberg lettuce has no flavor. It’s like green sheets of water paper.
The magic is in the toppings, so cut them up and pile them on.
Alright, so here’s the secret. A secret I learned from my local chicken wing place after dipping my wing into what I thought was blue cheese dressing and going, “wait, this doesn’t take like horrible blue cheese, what gives?”
If you want something more exciting than Ranch, but don’t super love Blue Cheese dressing, the answer is: why not both?
So first, drizzle on that Ranch dressing.
Then, chase it with a healthy drizzle of Blue Cheese dressing.
OMG, and then, chase both of those things with some Balsamic Vinegar Glaze.
I know, brain explode emoji.
And then just pile everything else on top.
It’s savory, sweet, salty, and rich. And it’s a salad.
Serve this wedge salad with a knife and fork, because you’re gonna need it.
- 1 head Iceberg lettuce
- Cherry Tomatoes, sliced
- Red Onion, chopped
- Crumbled Bacon
- Blue Cheese Crumbles
- Ranch Dressing
- Blue Cheese Dressing
- Balsamic Vinegar Glaze
- Rinse and quarter the lettuce into 4 wedges.
- Drizzle with Ranch dressing.
- Drizzle with Blue Cheese Dressing.
- Drizzle with Balsamic Glaze
- Top with crumbled blue cheese, bacon, red onion, and tomatoes.