What I Really Say To Your Husband

Ladies, your husbands are emailing me. Repeatedly. You may or may not have any idea this is happening. It's probably while you're in the shower, or after you go to bed. Or maybe when you think they're texting a co-worker on the couch, or in the bathroom on their iPads. … [Read More...]

It’s not rocket science, it’s just Beef Quesadillas.

The weeks after a major holiday also equals a whole lot of me sitting on my ass, not wanting to do anything. It also means lots of dinners made in either one pan, a crock pot or a casserole dish, and is both super cheap and super easy. This is for one of those nights.   Quesadilla … [Read More...]

A New Year.

I hope you are all having a stellar new year! Mine has been pretty great so far. I mean, I haven't showered or washed my hair all year, but I am pleased to say, I have remained sober, and only had 6 brownies the entirety of 2009...which is an improvement from last year. Holla! Did you all … [Read More...]

Another one for the books.

Christmas '08 was the balls. I loved it, the boys loved it, even my scroogey hubby loved it. The gifts were amazing, the family wasn't smothering, and the food was to die for. The boys got completely spoiled, and it was the first year they really got the whole Santa Claus delivering gifts … [Read More...]

Lemons into lemoncello, a Christmas card story

Once upon a time, my home was filled with cute, adorable, saccharine filled Christmas pictures. The likes of which made for the types of Christmas cards one would keep displayed year round.Giggles. Babies in oversized Santa hats. Puppies hiding under the tree.It was a gay time.But this year, with … [Read More...]

Merry.

Holy balls.It's freezing.After a full day of last minute shopping, I am frostbit and chapped in places I have never been frostbitten and chapped before.But, it's Christmas time. Always a cluster fuck, eh?I mean, don't get me wrong, I completely love it. The pretty snow, the cookies, the food, the … [Read More...]

4 years ago today.

13 years ago, I met him. He was quiet, played golf and liked to wear shoes.I let him kiss me and be my boyfriend anyways.We fell completely in love.He asked me to marry him.(I said yes.)It was a fabulous evening of dancing, drinking, chinese food and poker.Complete bliss.4 years have passed, and … [Read More...]

Batting 1000

You know when your kids totally do something new and shocking, like, oh, I don't know...let's say pull a dining room chair up to the kitchen counter and start playing with the knife block or dick around on the stove. And you are all like, where in fucks sake did you learn that shit? And they … [Read More...]

My breakfast of champions.

Best breakfast ever? Cold pineapple and green pepper pizza with thick crust. I have been dreaming of it all night. I woke up at 6am drooling for it. Literally...wet pillow. I get to the kitchen, and I see it...on the counter...in the box it came in last night. COME ON! Andy! The … [Read More...]

I’m feeling…poetic.

Having three boys is awfully nice...except this one is made of sugar and spice.COPYRIGHT BAREFOOT FOODIE 2009 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. … [Read More...]

Just like old times.

I haven't numbered things in a while. I think I will go ahead and do that now. Just to be nostalgic. 1. I think my thighs are starting to rub together...like...full time. This scares me. I mean, not enough to stop eating burritos, but enough to make me drink water between bites. 2. I … [Read More...]