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When You’re Fighting on Valentine’s Day

By |2021-02-15T09:31:05-05:00February 15th, 2021|Marriage|

 He didn't have a chance, really.  Andy woke up to a fight he didn't know he was in at first, and by 10am I was officially mad at him for everything he's ever done in our 24 years together.  There's so much pressure to be happily in love on Valentine's Day. Every Facebook and Instagram [...]

Love & Hysterectomies

By |2019-03-22T10:42:51-04:00March 22nd, 2019|Hysterectomy, Marriage|

Note: First, This post contains graphic imagery. If surgical photos make you queasy, this is not for you. Prior to seeing me in the recovery room, I firmly believe that Andy had no idea what was happening to me. "What's this totally elective, not at all serious thing my wife has gotten herself into this [...]

What I Really Say To Your Husband

By |2017-06-14T12:41:35-04:00December 15th, 2014|Body, Marriage|

Ladies, your husbands are emailing me. Repeatedly. You may or may not have any idea this is happening. It’s probably while you’re in the shower, or after you go to bed. Or maybe when you think they’re texting a co-worker on the couch, or in the bathroom on their iPads. […]

Stage 5 Clinger

By |2017-06-14T12:42:32-04:00November 26th, 2014|Body, Marriage|

“You never call me anymore.” He said. “Yes I do!” “Um no, you don’t. It’s Wednesday and you haven’t called to bug me at work all week?” So, two things. One, he apparently only pretends to be annoyed with me, which only confirms my theory that my exasperating personality is a large part of my [...]

Group Therapy

By |2017-06-14T12:46:09-04:00July 14th, 2014|Friendship, Marriage|

"8 and three dashes." "What?" "8 and three... yes three dashes." I hold three fingers up into the air as Andy and my brother Adam stare at me from the table saw positioned on the deck. "8 and three dashes." I yell at them again from the center of the dining room. "What the fuck [...]

Dear Andy While You Sleep

By |2017-06-14T12:50:18-04:00March 20th, 2014|Marriage|

Monday I rolled over in bed to come face to face with my little doll-faced cherub. I am keenly aware of the imaginary clock ticking above our heads, and our time of morning time girl snuggles are fleeting. I touched my finger to her warm little nose and she opened her heavy eyes, smiled softly, [...]

Pink Eyes Are The Prettiest Eyes

By |2017-06-14T12:52:48-04:00February 21st, 2014|Marriage, Mental Health, Womanhood|

Someone just come over and put this damn Lunette menstrual cup inside me correctly. I don't have the will to figure it out, internet, I just don't. I tried youtube'ing it, but almost no one has a legitimate menstrual cup insertion video. They all puss out using champagne glasses or diagrams of the inside of [...]

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