Hi. I'm Andy.

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from: brittanyherself@gmail.com

Can I be a dominatrix?

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I’d let you be anything, so of course.

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You’re so awesome, remember Tiffany was all, you could make like $100-$500 and hour!

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Wait, for others?

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Yes! Think how rich we’d be!

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While the money sounds great, not sure that is the course to take.  We’d both have to do something in that field for me to feel comfortable to cancel it out.  Not really ideal for me…

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Never mind, the leather catsuit chaffing alone would kill me. This is a horrible idea.

5 comments

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Do you know anyone who can make a full body mold of me and all my holes?

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Your holes?

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Yeah. Ears, nose, mouth, belly button, butt, pee and sex.

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Sex hole, awesome, let’s start the argument now, what’s the goal here?

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Um- to make life size sex dolls to sell on the internet? I saw on My Strange Addiction that gently used ones start at 6k on CraigsList.

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What does gently used mean?

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I think it just means she only gave head but still has her doll hymen, so maybe don’t kiss her on the mouth?

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Some days the way your brain works makes me not want to kiss YOU on the mouth.

20 comments

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Hey- I’m going golfing after work, but it doesn’t mean I want a divorce or that we need counseling. This is only a heads up.

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from: brittanyherself.com

???

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I saw you talking about starting your period on Facebook this week, so I decided to play the offense. I’ll bring home cake.

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We’re soul mates.

9 comments

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What am I getting on the way home?

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Children’s Mucinex Cough, advil for me, tampons if you can, and pop.

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What kind?

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Diet Pepsi.

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No, the tampons?

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OH! HAPPY CLAP I LOVE YOU, Ok Kotex Super- they’re black.

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That’s a good idea actually so you don’t see how gooped up and slimy they get.

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The box. I mean the box is black. But I should invent those! I can make them green and call them Zombie Fingers!

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Too far.

15 comments

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You know how your snoring is out of control? I’d like to try a new experiment in an attempt to solve the problem. If you are down…

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And slapping me across the face helps my snoring how?

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THIS IS HOW SCIENCE WORKS ANDY. We have to try A to solve X. Duh?

15 comments