Happy Boobs: How to Find Your Real Bra Size

Brittany2024-02-08T22:54:01-05:00January 27th, 2020|318 Comments

This post has been updated January, 27, 2020.

Note, I purchased all these bras myself, but this post does contain Amazon affiliate links, and as an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

All women know the look. 

One second, everything is fine. 

Then maybe it’s a boisterous laugh, bending over to grab something, or you know, literally any movement at all. 

*snap*

Time stops. 

You know those medical miracle news stories where they show x-rays of dudes with nails in their heads that somehow missed every vital area, one day, that will be me. 

Except instead of a nail to the face, you’ll see an x-ray of my chest cavity on the screen with half a u-shaped bra wire narrowly missing my beating human heart. 

Wire snaps happen to the best of us, even more so when our bras are cheap, old, or ill fitting. 

From 1989 to 2014, I was in an abusive relationship with my breasts.

At 8 bound them down with bandages, at 17 they hung below the table during strip poker, and at 28 they began to rest adorably in my arm pits when I lay down. I’ve spent over two decades hating them, cursing them, and stuffing them into ill-fitting pretty things.

I have really big, heavy, and saggy boobs. 

Halter tops and tube tops were never an option. Thin strapped tank tops weren’t really doable. Heck, walking into a store and leaving with a bra that actually fit me just wasn’t a thing that ever happened. 

My life has been full of a lot of fashion scenarios that just didn’t work out.

I’ve been measured in brick and mortar stores numerous times, always getting a different number but the same result: me stuffing my boobs into bras that didn’t fit. 

Spilling over, oozing out the side, snapping wires; I was a mess. 

All of this changed when I learned how to properly measure my breasts and invest in properly sized bras, and the perks of this include that I end up spending less money on pricier, well constructed bras that actually fit and last, and I could DIY this whole entire thing myself, in my own house.

That’s right, […]