We’re a family who eats in the living room around a coffee table. We keep napkins hidden in a drawer under the tv, and use the kitchen table to stack pots of succulents and mail we don’t feel like opening.
We sit on the couch with plates of food on our laps and watch recorded episodes of The Tonight Show, and then move on to our series of the moment. We completed The Office and Parks & Rec, and now we’re cackling our way through Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Next up, we tackle Community.
This is what we do, we’re screen people. We eat and we watch things.
It used to be something we only squeezed in during dinner, or on the off chance we had a night off of sports, but it seems we’re faced with more and more free time these days.
A few nights ago, we watched the movie Tremors and ate Sour Patch Kids until our tongues stopped working. The next day I came across The Adventures of Baron Munchausen on Amazon, and squealed with delight as I climbed into bed and made the kids watch it with me.
About half way through, Jude stood up, stretched his arms above his head and said, “where were your parents when you were a kid and watched messed up stuff like this?”
“Oh honey,” I smiled, “they were the ones who rented it for me.”
And then I explained rewinding VHS tapes to them for the millionth time- it’s confusing without a diagram- anyways, Robin Williams’ head is spinning on a platter, and I realize it’s effed up movies like these that have made me the barely stable, but super entertaining, adult I am today.
There is nothing like bonding in a bar with somebody over Drop Dead Fred quotes.
You can’t replicate that feeling of waking up in a cold sweat and googling a movie you remember being real, about a kid who spreads peanut butter on his head and his hair grows forever and he’s captured by some evil guy who uses it to make paintbrushes, until you finally find other people are traumatized and searching for the same thing. (It was totally real, it was called The Peanut Butter Solution, someone build a time machine and so I can report my parents to the police.)
And our kids should have that, you know. They should have coming of age movies, soundtracks that define their whole existence, and creepy little movies that give them nightmares for the rest of their lives, just like we did.
That’s when I decided to spend our summer on the couch, getting through all the offbeat films that have defined my whole adulthood.
I took to Facebook and asked my friends for the weird films from their childhood that still stick to their ribs, and they did not disappoint.
It was hard narrowing it down, but I put together a list of movies I’ll be either introducing or re-watching with my kids this summer. A summer that is otherwise- well… yeah I mean, we have no other plans.
Ready the air popper, because it’s all popcorn, Milk Duds, movies that would no longer pass for PG-13, and nightmares from here, folks!
Disclaimer: My kids are 11, 13 and 14 years old. I have lax movie standards and non-existent modesty; proceed with my list at your own risk. And if you think I’ve missed a must-see gem from your childhood, let me know!
Where can you watch these movies? Hey, I got you.
Uncle Buck… streaming on Starz
Drop Dead Fred… streaming on HBO Now, snotface
Heavyweights… streaming on Disney+
One Crazy Summer… streaming on Starz
Adventures in Babysitting… Amazon Rental
Troop Beverly Hills... Amazon Rental
PeeWee’s Big Adventure… Amazon Rental, tell ’em Large Marge sent ya.
What About Bob… streaming on HBO Now
The Sandlot… streaming on Starz, smalls
Now & Then… Apple TV Rental
The Princess Bride… streaming on Disney+
Summer School… streaming on Starz and Showtime
Lady Bugs… Amazon Rental
The Mighty Ducks… streaming on HBO Now
Stand by Me… streaming on Showtime
The Wizard… streaming on HBO Now
Sister Act… streaming on Disney +
Can’t Buy Me Love… streaming on HBO Now
Ernest Goes to Camp… Amazon Rental
Little Monsters… streaming on Netflix
Mrs. Doubtfire… streaming on HBO Now
Goonies… Amazon Rental
Camp Nowhere… streaming on Disney+
Beetlejuice… Amazon Rental
So I Married an Axe Murderer… Amazon Rental
Hook… Amazon Rental
Pretty in Pink… streaming on Amazon Prime
Harry & the Hendersons… streaming on Starz
Too Wong Foo… streaming on Netflix
Weekend at Bernie’s… Amazon
Babe’s in Toyland… streaming on Disney+
Real Genius… Amazon Rental
Clueless… Amazon Rental
Encino Man… Amazon Rental
Dutch… still trying to find it online, but I own the DVD.
Empire Records… Amazon Rental
Clue… streaming on Amazon Prime
Monster Squad… streaming on Amazon Prime
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off… streaming on Netflix
Earth Girls are Easy… Amazon Rental (this movie was rated PG, you guys. PG WTF!?)
Little Shop of Horrors… streaming on HBO Now
Better Off Dead… still trying to find it online.
National Lampoon’s Vacation… Amazon Rental
Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead… streaming on HBO Now
Untamed Heart… streaming on Max Go
Little Giants… Amazon Rental
Three Amigos… Amazon Rental, buttercup
Captain Ron… Amazon Rental
This list is a great one! I suggest adding King Ralph. It’s not terrifying, but it is John Goodman at his best and one of my faves as a kid. I recently shared it with my daughter (who is almost 12) and she was delighted with it!
One that traumatized me as a kid is Silver Bullet (my aunt let me watch it when I was six or seven. I had nightmares for years. I have never rewatched it!)
One that traumatized me as an eighteen-year old is Lost Boys (also have not rewatched this one).
And one that my sister and I used to torment each other but couldn’t recall the name of (we used to tell each other the boogity boogity boo man was going to get you) is Mr. Booedy from Walt Disney (still haven’t rewatched that one either).
OMG KING RALPH!
I watched that as a kid, I loved it. Secretly… I had such a big dad crush on John Goodman!
This list is my list only I would add Dazed and confused “It’d be a lot cooler if you did I’d, man”
I love that movie SO MUCH!
I second Shag The Movie! So good! Mystic Pizza might be a good one to watch.
Love this list, but I would add Grumpy Old Men, A league of their own, Pollyanna, The Parent Trap Haley Mills Edition. Plus for newer, Big Fish and Beetlejuice. Have a blast!
I’m chainsaw
and I’m dave
And we’ll see you
At the movies
Gawd i loved Summer School
Maximum Overdrive. I still don’t look at semi’s right.
Don’t forget Karate Kid….the original one obviously. Kids haven’t seen it yet, but I described the wax on, wax off scene to them, and they were cracking up.