Today I posted on Facebook:
You guys, the most amazing things happen when you stop being afraid you’re going to fuck up, and just do it already!
And then I got a whole slew of responses and private messages telling me how badly people had needed to hear that today.
On a personal level, this statement could not be more true. I’m not great at math, but I can tell you with utmost certainty that 0% amazing things have happened to me as a result of me not trying. But 100% of the amazing things I’ve gotten to do in my life have come from taking a chance, and at least 50% of those times, I failed miserably in the process at least once.
That’s… a lot of percents, which makes this what? Honors algebra?
My point is, once you get over this whole fear of public failure thing, life gets way easy and a lot more fun.
I want a television show, a fashion line, the freedom to be funny, and the courage to spearhead a movement alongside amazing women. I didn’t and won’t get any of those things without going out and doing them. I didn’t and won’t get any of those things without sucking at some of it along the way.
Today is your day. Start failing. Hard. All over the place. Until one day… you don’t.
Amazing things happen when you start putting things out into the universe.
First: I want to know, right here, what you want to do. What you’ve been afraid to try.
And then: I want you to read everyone else’s comments. Can you help them do their “thing?” Have you been in their shoes and you can offer advice? Did you accidentally end up here after searching the term “fat barefoot chick in bikini?” I get that a lot, here ya go, buddy.
What do you want to do?
I want to get healthier. Before having my long awaited daughter(10 years of trying) I’d lost 60 lbs and was still overweight but felt so much better! Then I got pregnant, had her, lost my Grandma (who raised me as a Mom) just a few short months later and had this new baby that I had no idea what to do with! Quit my job for lock of childcare and love being a stay at home mom but can’t seem to get back into a groove of healthy-ish eating and movement. I am broke and live in a not safe for walking neighborhood. Used the wii the last time I lost weight but just can’t seem to get up and started again. It hurts physically to start again after almost 3 years of inactivity and it hurts emotionally to try and be so winded after 5 minutes that I give up and go eat some chips!!!
Kristy,
Have you tried a paleo lifestyle? I’m not trying to shove another diet down ANYONE’S throat, but once I switched to a primal lifestyle I’m not lying I didn’t change a single workout habit and my body learned how to process fats and proteins and didn’t rely on carb-dense meals. I lost 15 pounds of fat in 2 months. I know it sounds like a pitch, but I’m just offering up what worked for me. I’d start with marksdailyapple.com.
Thank you. I will check the site out.
Hi Kristy, Like Ashley I lost weight by removing carbs from my diet, and I exercised (simple in-home exercises … look up the Gorilla app or something similar) only 20 minutes a day. There are a ton of apps that you can get on your phone (and I’m sure computer equivalents) that chart your way to doing sit-ups and push-ups a little at a time. Start small, watch what goes in, get rest, and drink that water!
Start small is what I need to do. I always want to go all in too fast.
Hey Kristy, My mom is a personal trainer (of the sanest kind), so I’ve been fortunate to grow up around fitness my whole life.
The first thing she tells all of her new clients is to start keeping a food journal. Write down everything you eat, no matter what (even if you finish your daughter’s Cheerios) for two weeks. Bonus points (or an add-on for the second week): write down the circumstances around your snack/meal. Tired? Hungry? Don’t feel like putting away leftovers? Nothing better to do? Had a good day? Bad day? After you get a real picture of what you’re eating- then you can make small, slow changes. ONE at a time. Replace soda with water. After you’ve made that a habit, move on the next thing.
If you can’t walk in your neighborhood, either take advantage of opportunities to walk elsewhere when you can (with a friend, in a different neighborhood, a few extra laps when grocery shopping), plus, like others said, add in pushups and situps at home- even if you can only do two. Do those two. It’s more than you did last week, right? Then next week do five.
Finally, I’ll agree that the whole (as in, unprocessed) foods in the paleo diet are awesome, but it’s not for everyone. The best nutrition resource I know is a magazine called Nutrition Action by the Center for Science in the Public Interest. It’s short, cheap, and puts the latest nutritional studies into layman’s language for us non-science people.
You can do this! It just takes one small change at a time!!
I’ve heard over and over to do a food journal and I’ve always blown it off. I will do it now. Maybe I’ll see something about how I am eating that I didn’t realize!
I have used Lose it to lose over 50 pounds. There is also Myfitnesspal which is basically the same but a bit more popular. It’s an app you can put on your phone and/or do online.
I have a fitcamp group I belong to that is HUGELY motivating to me. If you would like a link I can send it to you. Also follow inspiring people on Facebook, Instagram and blogs.
I will check those out.
What is a fitcamp group?
Kristy, I totally want to help you. I think half the battle is just having the support to make the little changes toward getting healthy. It seems like some surmountable beast at times, I get it, I have experienced it too. Feel free to email me at [email protected] if you want and I can give you some tips/tricks that have worked for me.
Sending hugs!
Karie Gonia!? And now I am fan-girling all over!
Oh Brittany… you flatter a gal. I am fan-girling all over you. I love your badass ways, my friend! :)
I want to get my GED but I suck at math. So ya know, if I suck at general math you can imagine how Algebra would go.
Nancy, I got a GED at 17 and the test wasn’t that hard at all. And I suck at math too. Have you taken a practice exam?
Me too! Suck at math, (anything not money related, I’m useless) and passed my GED math. Seriously, it’s not that bad- don’t let the fear of it hold you back! It’s worse then the reality. <3 Good luck!
kahnacademy.com is a free site where you can watch videos and learn lots of mathy stuff!
I have a friend who taught GED classes specifically for the math portion. She gave me a bunch of tests and practices for my friend who was getting his. He passed just fine! If you would like them I can see if they’re still around.
ixl.com is a free math site with lots of different levels of math from pre-k through geometry. I’m sure it could help you build confidence in math.
I want to sell enough books that I can quit the job I’m no longer passionate about and do something I love.
I want to become CEO of my own company. In the meantime – taking the GRE is kind of killing me and I have been terrified to go back to school because of that little voice in the back of my head going “you wont get in.” Well, I realized that I won’t get in unless I actually apply!
Failure used to scare me so much until I realized that you just have to go for it. If you build it up in your head so much or don’t even try, then you have failed in a different way.
So – any suggestions on grad school applications? I don’t want to fail!
When I applied to grad school I was told I really needed to focus my interests. I thought I had done that, but apparently they were super broad. Also, if you aren’t a great test taker, make sure to really play up all the rest of the amazing things that I’m sure you do to offset any potential bad scores. The GRE’s suck!
My hubs is in a MBA program that took real world experience into consideration so he didn’t have to take the GRE to apply. They are out there! Good luck!
Thanks Daisy!
The program I fell in love with, the GRE is recommended but not required and that scares me!
Hannah, I will read your essays if you’d like. I often review college essays, grad school essays, resumes, articles, etc. for friends and colleagues. Persuasive writing and editing are two of my very best things.
If you want to share your essays with a total stranger, you can email me at [email protected]. Reference Brittany in the subject line so I don’t delete you as spam.
Thanks! I will definitely take you up on your offer
Hannah,
When I applied to Grad school I didn’t get into all of them. But I did get into some. So part of it might be applying to more than one. I know that probably sounds cheesy or stupid.
But also finding the RIGHT program is very important. Some schools have programs that are tailored to professionals already in business and the entrance standards are different because they have experience so its not so much about test taking and GRE scores but showing that you have capabilities to learn and succeed in what you are interested in.
Also, make sure the essay is about your passion. If you want to open a flower shop or a book store, then write about that. Or you know whatever you are into. Passion goes a long way with many admission people.
A lot of how you get into grad school depends on the program. I’m in a psychology program and for Masters students, they don’t care what the GRE score is. For PhD they have a modest minimum and that just gets them to look at you. What they care about is experience and interests.
My suggestion is talking to a few grad students in the program you want to get into. A lot of times, they’ll know that the school looks for in an applicant.
If you’re looking into a research style program, sometimes it doesn’t matter who amazing you look… if they didn’t get whatever grant they applied for, they just wont have funding to take you. And that where my next suggestion lies…
If you’re going into a research field, look for outside funding opportunities and grants. NIH/NSF have grants for students looking to enter PhD programs and it looks amazing to have on your resume, even if you don’t get it. It just shows that you care and that you’re willing to fight for money (which is a huge deal for research)
I want to be a wedding coordinator and interior designer. I want to start an etsy shop. I want to not sit in a cube all day. I want to be my own boss.
I was a wedding planner after college. Get on some local wedding forums (theknot.com for example), and offer to do some day-of work for free. Meet the other vendors, like the DJs, the florists, the officiants and the bridal salons. Get in with them give them your cards to pass out, and they’ll be the first to refer you to their clients. I got almost all my business that way.
This. Just jump in and start helping out, and in your downtime, build your network so that when you do branch out on your own, you’ll have a market built up. I booked my wedding with a coordinator who had never done a wedding before, at a seriously reduced rate. I was thrilled at her work AND the pricing. We both won that day. :)
Also, I was a bridal consultant with a salon in SE Michigan for many years, and connecting with the wedding coordinators was great for both the bridal shop and the coordinator! When a bride would come to a coordinator looking to get the ball rolling, she would recommend our shop; similarly, when a new bride would start her wedding process with dress shopping, we would recommend our go-to coordinator as a place for her to start.
It was a great symbiotic relationship, and it can totally work! Get the salons in your area to offer a discount on your services if they buy a dress there, or create some other kind of marketing that can help you build a business. Oh, and one more tip – if you approach a bridal salon to ask them to market for you, don’t do it on a Saturday, and be sure to bring cupcakes. :)
It takes zero time to open an etsy shop. Make one! Then post one thing to sell… then another. You don’t have to build a giant inventory to start. The key is taking a great picture of your product. Go for it!! and Best wishes! (I don’t have advice for wedding coordinator or interior designer… but any way to grow your connections – especially by showing your creativity and attention to detail couldn’t hurt!!)
THIS! This you can totally do! I’m a SAHM, had zero business experience, and after throwing together some candles one day, decided I could probably do this and make some extra money for our family- in the beginning, it sucked. My husband let me use our savings (all whopping 1k of it) to get started and after experiencing the fierce competition in the candle ‘world’, almost gave up twice… but I knew I had to find a way to make my products stand out so I spent WEEKS working into the early morning while my kids slept- perfecting my ‘recipe’, and within a year and a half- sold the whole company for a decent amount because it just got too big for me to handle and take care of the kiddos. Set your mind to it. Let NOTHING stop you. Life is too damn short. You got this, girl.
(and share your etsy link when you get it started- I want to be your first customer!)
Abby, just out of curiosity, what general area are you located in?
I have always wanted to be an image/fashion consultant and have been afraid to get my business going for fear of failing miserably. I am blessed to have a great full time job right now so starting tomorrow, with a “start your own business” workshop, I’m doing it!! It will be a side business for a while (so I can actually pay my bills) but my goal is to make it my sole career….helping women feel better about themselves by presenting the best possible version of themselves! I KNOW I can achieve it; just gotta try…..so your post really hit me too today :-)
I want to get my Ph.D. in Higher Education
I’m working on one – it’s not that bad! It’ll take you a while, it’s a PhD, but just apply. Find a school that interests you, find a faculty chair you can love, make sure you reach out to other students in your life situation (whatever it may be), and you will do it! Of course, I want to FINISH my PhD in Higher Education, but I know I will. Go for it!
I wanna be brave enough to love again. I want to believe they are good men out there and that all men are not secretly my ex on the inside. I want to be able to love and be loved so that my daughter has an example of a healthy relationship. Maybe some day…..
Show your daughter how much you love her. At the end of the day, in her eyes, that’s the only strong relationship that matters. And if you do that, someone who deserves you will love you unconditionally because of your love for her. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself. I love my mom because of how dedicated she is to my brothers and I. She has a great relationship with my dad, but it’s her endless dedication to us that inspires me.
Learn to love yourself first. Sounds corny, I know.
I also love Rhonda Britten’s book “Love without Fear” (at least I think that’s the name). One of the exercises was to write a list of 100 things you want in a mate, then narrow it down to 5 – the deal breakers. It was a way to reframe looking for love – and to focus on keeping people I liked around me and saying F* off to the ones who sapped my energy and love for myself.
I agree you have to love yourself first, or at least like yourself a lot and feel confident. Corny and easier said than done, but it’s an important step. And trussst me. There are AMAZING men out there. I am engaged to one of them and good friends with several others. Keep on believing!
I want to be happy being me and to stop worrying about what people think about me. The fact that I am happy should be all that matters. That is so hard for me to do though.
It is so hard! But it’s possible! I know because I’m on the same path as you. The best thing I did was dedicate time and effort to finding others who would light the way ahead of me. Brittany was one of them. I also cut a lot of ties with people who don’t love me for me as who I am at this very moment. It can be scary, but very freeing too. <3
I agree about Brittany being a light! She has said and done so many things that inspire me daily! I constantly tell me friends about posts she does or things she says. My problem mostly stems from being raised an “if” girl. I would be so pretty “if”
I wore more makeup
Lost weight
Smiled more
If if if if….
I am so sick of being an IF girl! I am pretty regardless if I wear make up or not! (typically not, I’m somewhat girl challenged in that area)….
Also, being raised by my grandparents I was raised with an over abundance of what my grandmother considered “proper behavior’ for a young lady.
I completely agree with everything that Untypically Jia said below. What has helped me the most, which, of course does not work for everyone, is doing one thing that makes you happy everyday. Even if it’s tiny! Also, surrounding yourself with positive people is a huge influence. It makes such a difference.
We started a store about 2.5 years ago on top of another business we had. We’ve been in the process of closing it since February. It has not been easy, it has not been without behind-the-scenes messes and it both terrified me and broke my heart. I thought the doors closing sealed my fate as a failure. Not so. Your post reinforced a growing realization that it is but a richening of the soil upon which my entire life is built. Fuck fearing failure, fist raised to using it.
I didn’t fail at it. I had it. Loved it. Learned from it.
Me too, kel!
Not being challenged at work led me to enroll in grad school, at 47 years old, to pursue my dream. Was I scared…YES! But it ends up, I’m pretty good at working full time and going to school full time. I would never have guessed that. My age is my advantage, as I undertake this new adventure in my life.
I want the ability to want something back. I’ve lost my ability to dream.
Oh, honey! I’ve been there! After I had my baby, I thought that all dreams/hopes had to go for her. Not so!! You can get so far removed from dreams that they seem silly and futile. Practice! Start a journal. They say you truly want what your mind drifts toward. If a blank journal is too intimidating, try a guided one that asks questions each day. Then you have a log to flip through to see what you are gravitating toward. Dream! Dream big!! Dream small!!
i want to find the courage and will-power to finally lose weight. it’s not that i’m lazy, it’s that deep down, i’m afraid i will fail… or i’ll succeed and then get fat again and everyone will be able to see that i’ve failed. sometimes, it’s easier to just stay fat and let people think i’m cool with that vs trying to lose weight and feel like people are judging me as i struggle. (plus, i really like chocolate…) i need the courage to embrace the struggle and ignore the judgment!
Me too!! I wish there was a way we could do it together!!!
hook up! it’s always better if you have a partner! The internet is a great place to find people with similar goals and interests! Find a way – email/fb etc to contact each other. Motivate each other. Do a joint food journal or something. share recipes!!
I so relate to this. I finally decided in February that I just don’t care anymore what people think of me or whether anyone will see me fail, and I joined Crossfit. Which is kind of an extreme exercise approach, and lots of other people could do the same with any sort of gym, but I wanted to push as far outside my comfort level as possible. And it has, undoubtedly, turned out to be one of the best decisions of my adult life. I’m losing weight, I’m getting in shape, but more than that, I am becoming SO much more confident and comfortable in my own skin. It helps a lot that all the fit people I was scared would judge me, are actually cheering me louder than anyone. When you are committed to trying something new and giving it your all, people judge you by what they see you doing, and there’s no room for them to judge you just for how you look. I wrote something on my blog called “Fat Chick Does Crossfit,” and it went like wildfire throughout the whole regional Crossfit community and got me a tidal wave of positive emailed, Facebook comments and loads and loads of face to face support. Trust me, if I can put myself out there, you definitely can! I hope you find the courage to take the first step. :)
Go for it!! In the last five years I have lost 50lbs, gained back 30, lost 25, gained back 30 more, lost more, you get my drift. But do it for you, not because you think people need you to. And fuck ’em if they comment on the roller coaster.
Wanted to drop an invite to my motivational group on FB. There a great group and really keep me motivated on my weight loss goals! Just send an add request and the admin Ann Smith will add you!
https://www.facebook.com/groups/HLSMC.me/
@Jamie, @Kristin Let’s budy up! Support via email [email protected]. Daily reminders to get off the couch, put the chocolate back in the fridge and do some situps, jumping jacks, squats, whatever. June 1st is tomorrow. I think it’s a sign.
I stress eat. I need to stop that. I need a buddy. I’m here if you need a kickstart.
Can I get in on this too…I have been struggling with my weight for what seems like forever…at this point I have realized I will NEVER look like a swimsuit model, and I am okay with that…but I need to be healthy for myself…and my kids….
Let’s do it Angela! Baby steps, baby steps. This is really motivating me to keep away from the sweets. Email me.
You can do it! I did and I never thought I could. I’m still working hard to maintain it but if I can do it anyone can.
I want to write a book. About mental illness, and my struggle with it. Then, I want people to read it.
I would absolutely read it. I’ve been struggling with it for 3 years and have searched everywhere for a good book from someone who understands.
Start writing. I would read the hell out of that.
Write. Just write. Write a little everyday.
National Novel Writing Month in November is a great way to start writing. Amazing support and ways to track your progress. Plus, tons of cheerleading.
Good luck!
I want to write just one honest blog post about mine and I am too terrified.
If you need a beta reader or any help I can help. I love reading from people who understand not just the white coats.
Write that book and let me know! I will read it! Promise! :)
I want to tell my friend w/ benefits I’m in love with him.
Because I think he feels the same way.
BUT! He’s also my bff and I don’t want to ruin that.
(This seems sooo petty compared to all the other things people are listing, but I’ve already started working on my other “wants” so this is where I’m at and it’s killing me.)
Tell him!!! Please, please, tell him!!
if he’s your bff, he’ll understand! Do it!
I’ve been married to mine for five years. :)
I recommend tequila, and putting the fear of the unknown aside. The best things in life are usually the biggest risks!
Kelly, in my experience, you can’t remain “just friends” with the person you’re in love with. What if you never say anything, and he begins a relationship with someone else? Will you be able to maintain your friendship with him, watching the guy you love in a relationship with someone else??? Tell him. Be brave.
And your feelings are never petty. What other people may be going through gives us perspective in our own lives, but it does not diminish what we may be going through or how that makes us feel.
Thank you. You put into words all the crazy thoughts swirling around in my head.
Aw, tell him! Then report back!!
Tell him!!! Then write a book about it so we can all fall in love too!
Tell him. Fifteen years and two kids later, I’m sure glad I told mine.
Oh ladies you all are amazing!
Thanks for the encouraging words, I cannot tell you how much it means to me.
He is away on a trip for 6 weeks (ugh! so tough for me!) so I have time to figure out my next move.
I promise I’ll report back with all the dirty details.
How long have you been best friends? And how long have you been in love with him?
P.S. I’m in the “tell him” camp too. I’m just curious.
i want to not be stuck in an office all day.
i want to see the world.
i want to write!
i want to show my daughter what it is like to truely LIVE…not just be alive…
i don’t know how to get there.
I want to learn something new and be really good at it. Like learning to play the guitar or being a photographer. Whatever it is I want to be really good at it.
This could not have come at a more perfect moment today. I have vowed to make 2013 about me, and it’s terrifying and hard and sometimes I want to just quit and go back to making everyone else happy and forgetting about me again. But I won’t. Not this year, not this time. One of the many things I vowed to do for myself this year was run a half marathon. For me, it’s not just about the running and the getting in shape, it’s about the mental part of it. I need to prove to myself that if I try things I can succeed. Today I went to go for my run and a mile in all I kept thinking was “Holy shitballs, I’m never going to get to 13 miles, it’s just not possible for this body, it’s not meant to happen for me.” I had 2 miles left to run and it was brutal with thoughts of self doubt effing up my thought pattern. I walked in the door soaking wet from gettng rained on (because of course, when I’m running and crying and self doubting it needs to also pour on top of me…literally), and I sat down to stretch while pulling up Facebook. I saw your post, and said to myself “Holy shit, she is talking right to you!” So thank you, for letting me know that I may fail, but I am trying and somehow my attempts at being a better me will work out. I will get to 13 miles, and it may be hard but I won’t quit trying!
Hang in there! Running is tricky. Stick to it, but be careful. Pushing too hard too fast can sideline you (says the one who ran/walked a 5k when her half marathon was happening)… Make sure you are doing exercises to strengthen the muscles around your knees. (Sit against the wall with knees at a 90 degree angle — and if you are like me… cussing uncontrollably). Stick to it. It takes a while, but you will soon feel about mile 13 what you did about mile 2. Good for you!
Jenna! I’m here for you! I just finished my first half and trained with 4 kids under 4 yrs…1 year ago I was crying while running and self doubting but a little at a time and your training will work you up to 13 miles and pay off! It’s the best feeling ever!!! Email me if you need help and check out my blog where I posted about training and put up one too many selfies aww.pgsisters.blogspot.com
I just wanted to say that trying it at all is still doing it! I just did my first half marathon with my Mom and you know what I walked most of it. I got a free spot a week before and I hadn’t trained at all. I thought I was going to die miles 10-13 but I still finished. At first I was embarrassed to be walking a lot of it, but then I realized I was still doing it. I think sometimes we don’t try things if we think we can’t do them perfectly, when really sometimes doing it at all is the bigger victory. Walk a 5k, get bit by that bug. I swear finishing a race no matter how small feels like a million bucks. There is NO shame is starting small and just trying.
I’m so sad that all these replies got sent to my junk box and I didn’t know they were there! I am just now seeing them and and SOOOOO happy for the encouragement. You ladies are ALL amazing not only for doing these things yourselves but being willing to cheer on and encourage a newbie to the running world. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. Your words mean the world to me, sometimes you just need to hear the positive feedback. Thanks a million!
I want to finish writing the paper so I can pass my comps exam and be entered into candidacy in my PhD program.
I’m almost halfway through writing my paper (Due June 10) but its been terribly hard to write. I know the material very well but my adviser is a jerk who hates my writing (even when all the other professors who’ve read my writing think my writing is fine) and he is the person who decides if I pass and continue in the program or fail and have to leave. Every time I think about this paper or him reading it, my heart races and I feel light headed.
Granted, if I pass I’ll have to deal with him as I write my dissertation for the next ~2 years. If I fail, I’ll feel like I wasted 5 years of my life (I did get my masters, no thanks to him), but I’ll be able to get a job that hopefully doesn’t involve his crazy-high standards. I think I’d like to work at the Saveology headquarters that just opened up by my house, maybe nanny for awhile, or even open up my own bakery (I’d love to have BYOB classes and teach people how to bake, like the painting classes that are popular now).
I quit my Ph.D. after four years. It took me two years to finally be brave enough to say “screw this, I don’t need my Ph.D. to do what I want to do and I don’t need to be unhappy getting it even if I do”. So I left with my Masters and found the job that I wanted – and they HIRED ME.
Sometimes I feel like I did waste that time, but I didn’t. The whole time I was earning my MS, and learning how to make the best of a crappy situation and to deal with people of all backgrounds. Oh, and I met my husband. That was cool too. :-)
Thank you for your reply!
Sometimes I feel like even if I get this *glorious* phD, there isn’t a job out there for me. I’m coming from an unknown school and while my 1 pub was a big deal, I’ll need a lot more of that to get a good job. And then that job, 6 more years of killing myself for tenure while I fight for grants, departmental politics, and snotty undergrads. Ugh.
I’ve been afraid to remove toxic relationships. I purged several years ago, and it helped. I need to hike up my panties and cut ties with people that I know are bad for me. I’ve collected a few in recent years… Amazing how hard leaving something you know is bad can be.
I have been there so many times Cort, and even have one or two now that I’m working on leaving behind. It is amazing how we still crave people we know will hurt us/bring us down/etc. You go girl!
Thanks, Katie. It’s amazing that I can look my daughter in the eye and tell her she doesn’t need to put up with toxic people (at preschool) but then stay in contact with someone who makes me nuts! “You teach best what you most need to learn” Richard Bach
Do it! I’ve cut toxic relationships from my life and I’m better for it. At first it’s hard. Like withdrawal. Because as much as it’s toxic, you’ve relied on it in some way. After a few weeks the distance gets easier and one day you realize how much better and happier you are. At least that’s how it worked for me! You can do it. It’s not easy, but you can do it. Realizing it’s a toxic relationship is the first step!
Since we’re all shooting for the fences here: I want to
live in London for a year, and write a blog about my experiences.
I’ve never left the country( I hate flying) and I’ve loved the UK since I
was a little girl. That’s what I daydream about all the time.
buy yourself a plane ticket and some xanax! You’ll love yourself for having the experience later :)
If you get a plane ticket to London, I’ll be happy to show you around! Or even just if you want to talk to someone who lives in the UK, do reply back to this and I can tell you about anything you may be dying to know?
Ugh. Not die with this book inside of me.
I’ve got books inside of me, too. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it?
I recently joined a few online communities where you can share your writing with others. If you haven’t already joined, maybe try something like http://figment.com/?
Good luck to you!
I, too, have books inside of me :) Thanks for the figment.com suggestion!
I want a child. We’ve been trying almost everything possible for over four years, rather unsuccessfully. Try, get hopes up, fail, cry. Get back up tomorrow and do it all over again. Investing month after month into pills and shots and doctors offices and blood draws is exhausting, expensive as fuck, the hardest thing I’ve ever had to emotionally endure, and I want to quit fairly regularly.
So far, we’ve only tried lower-tech methods of getting pregnant, and I’m afraid of trying the big guns. I’m scared of investing $15K into something that has only a 60% chance of working at best, or investing even more than that into adoption where legal issues could pull the rug out from under us at any time in the process.
That being said, I want a child more than anything, and whether it be via adoption, IVF, or donor eggs/sperm/embryos, I’m not going to quit until I’m the mother I know I was meant to be.
I want more than I fear. I hope that’s enough…
Try Maca Root (balances hormones) and taking a baby asprin daily (if you clot easily). Good luck.
Acupuncture can help too.
I was in your shoes. Four years of invasive trying to conceive. I’d like to say I had a baby after all that, but it wasn’t in the stars for us. I hope you find peace no matter the outcome.
Oh Tracy…you break my heart. I am a gestational carrier through an agency called the Center for Surrogate Parenting. Have you explored that option? Is it financially viable for you? The agency is full of women who are wonderful and compassionate and who fully realize the frustrations you are going through. The agency assists in building a relationship between you and the gestational carrier. Let me know if you want more info.
Reminds me of something Nancy Botwin says in, I believe, season 7 of weeds:
“Try again, fail better?”
Personally, I want to develop myself. Like, not spend all my free time reading the internets and watching netflix. Re-learn Spanish, learn to cook for myself, spend less than 80% of each weekend sleeping, improve on my personal style, learn to hoop dance, etc. I’ve kinda morphed into the lazy, unproductive blob of i-should-ofs and that’d-be-fun-if-i-wanted-to-trys. That’s not me, or at least not who I want to be. This summer I start the life-long journey to participate and not just watch the days fly by.
I love this! And going outside that comfort zone is exactly what this whole year is about for me. I hope everyone will check out this FB page for a year of new adventures:
https://www.facebook.com/The52at52Project
Follow along and join in, if you’re brave!
Liked! :D
Thank you! I am working on a book, based on The 52/52 Project, so really hope you all will chime in on the page with your own experiences this year. It may have started out to be my own personal project, but I hope it becomes everyone’s.
Love this idea! Liked!
I want to convince my husband to close the corporations that we own because I’m tired of the rat-race that comes in owning businesses. Once accomplished I want to go back to school to earn any degree that will allow me to work directly with penguins. I know it might sound silly but this is honestly my dream.
I want to work for myself. I want to arrange flowers and decorate cakes. I want to write children’s books. I want to quit my job and never again work for a corporation other than my own.
Have you taken any classes at your local A.C. Moore or Michael’s? They offer cake decorating. I used to decorate cakes and those classes were pretty helpful when I was first starting out.
(I’ve always wanted to write a children’s book too! ;))
I want to be a writer….specifically, I want to get out of my own way. I’m funny, and I’m good with words , but I convince myself otherwise all. The. Time.
I would be happy to read anything you write, as I’m sure many others would be! What about joining an online writing community like http://figment.com/ anonymously?
…That’s what I’m doing. It’s scary, but it’s a positive experience for me. :)
I want to be more like Brittany. Can that be a thing?
Honestly though, I did a big thing on my “always wanted to do” list recently. I wrote my first novel last year. And published it in May. It still doesn’t feel real. But it’s out there in the world. And people are reading it. People who don’t even know me or share an ancestor with me. *breathes into a paper bag* It’s simultaneously scary and exhilarating.
This process has taught me to change my “always wanted to do” list into a “to-do list.” Fear be damned.
Thanks for the amazing post, Brittany!
What’s the book? Share a link!
Thanks, Selina. It’s Geoducks Are for Lovers. http://www.amazon.com/Geoducks-Are-for-Lovers-ebook/dp/B00CS7HG0K/ref=zg_bsnr_6487841011_17
It’s a love story that I wanted to read… about women/men/friends over 40 who refuse to go quietly into middle-age and mom jeans. :)
Just checked out your book, looks cute – I’m turning 39 next month. I also love Whidbey Island and get there at least once a month. :)
To be able to give myself (if you catch my drift) to my boyfriend of 9 years. It terrifies me.
I love this. I wanted to be a farmer for so damn long and finally dropped the excuses and began the work of making it happen. Now here I am, looking out window at my first crop of pigs and my chickens.
It was not easy. We are not rich. It’s not a perfect situation and I’m fucking up daily (I’m also looking at a broken tractor). But I’m here and I’m doing it and I love this work and I love that I stopped worrying that I was doing it wrong and started doing it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go hoe some shit and fix a tractor and wash some eggs and… (love this.)
I love that you are a farmer!
We want to get chickens soon. I admit, I’m afraid of doing something wrong and killing them.
There’s a saying, “If you have livestock, you’ll have dead stock.” It’s true and part of the package. That said, do it! Chickens are totally easy and hard to kill. My biggest piece of advice is automate your watering system as much as possible. Code word: chicken nipples.
This is awesome. We’ve always talked about having a farm too. Far fetched living in the city and with all the other things we want to do but I think it would be pretty cool!
I wanna be an internationally published author with an agent!!
Okay, so I *am* published, but it’s s…l…o…w going. Which is okay, because there was a time there after my tiny indie publisher shut down that I thought that was the end of it for me. BUT, especially after watching/listening to Alice and Tiffany on Last Call, and after starting to just plain *talk* to other authors on twitter and so forth, I’m getting bolder that my time is coming, maybe it’s just waiting for the timing to be perfect.
Also, I want to find a new job I love in my soon to be new city. I want to get to a point where I can write for a living and THAT will be the job I love. I want to wear my bikini in public this year, I want to start a book club, I want to have a nude photoshoot (for me, also for my hubs, but mostly for me so that I can feel all awesome about myself) and I want to try to conquer at least one of my biggest fears. But not the snake one, not brave enough for that yet.
Heh, I’ve been practicing at failing hard and digging myself out. :)
I want to share my book with more people. I want to make it a stunning success because the more successful it is, the more it’ll help kick cancer to the curb. The book is free with a suggested donation to a cancer charity. It’s hard to be heard, but I’ll keep shouting until I find an echo.
The Kiss Chronicles ebook is available at https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/300236 and other online retailers. Reads and reviews help so much!
Beautiful post, Brittany. Less fear, more action!
I want to know what I want to do. After 3 years of being a SAHM I have no clue. So I guess I want to get out of the house more, connect with real people and find a purpose.
I’ve recently had to move a few times, and had to start over making friends. The best advice I have is to go ahead and live your life, doing things you want to do, and other people who love doing those things will naturally be attracted to you. So hit that open knitting circle, take the pole dance class, volunteer at the library, rent that boogie board, and strap on those snowshoes. Whatever makes you go “That sounds interesting” is something you should go ahead and do, and the people you meet there will be a bonus reward.
I want to write the story that has been rolling around in my head for the past two years. I can whip out an academic paper in no time, but writing fiction that people want to read scares the crap out of me. I don’t know where to start.
Write the story you want to tell and you’d want to read.
Start wherever. You don’t have to start at the beginning of the book. Write a scene in your head and go from there. Scrivener is a great writing software that lets you write out of order.
Good luck!
So anticlimactic now, to be the eleventy-first person to jump on here and say that I want to write books. :) Just in the past few weeks I’ve started taking those first terrifying steps of getting my manuscript in front of volunteer readers and making a list of literary agents that I plan to start querying over the summer. It’s hard to move on our dreams, because they are where we’re most vulnerable and so often it feels better to be the person who had potential than to risk being the person who couldn’t hack it. This is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done, but it’s just one foot in front of the other, right?
Just want to say that I think the best damn women read this blog.
Agreed.
I agree again!
I want to live debt free. I sabotage myself, and then get into a hole. And it’s not deep enough that the government will help me, but it’s deep enough that I can’t see the top from where I am on the ladder out.
I want to open an etsy shop to try and earn extra money, but I’m afraid it will just become a time suck/money suck and get me into more trouble.
Living debt free is one of my ultimate goals. Probably my number one goal. I’ve started an excel sheet where I monitor all my payments, see what cash I have left over and squirrel that away into an envelope system. One envelope for a vacation in Bora Bora. Another envelope for my first designer purse. Another envelope for clothes. And so on. It’s hard, but I really want to wake up in Bora Bora one day and one of these days I’m going to get there.
I was THERE. Wanting to live debt free but so far in I couldn’t pay my monthly finance charges.
So I quit. Stopped charging. Got rid of every card and put them on one-low-3%-APR-until-paid-off-card. It took a few years but I have zero credit card debt now and vow to never go back again.
I want to figure out what I want to do in life. I’m a big believer in doing what you want instead of what makes the most money, but I seem to be floundering. Going back to school is fun, but isn’t landing me anywhere closer to knowing what I want to do.
I want to do something creative. Something I can put my heart and soul into (and maybe get paid for it). I want to write a book. I want to learn to photograph. I have mental and chronic illness that prevents me from working full time jobs outside the home where I have to interact with assholes, so I often feel worthless when it comes to contributing much. I’d like to find something I could do to make me feel like I’m making a difference either in my own home and family, or in the world.
A new thing I’m super afraid to try is being a plus size model. Not the size 10 plus size, but the size 24 (yeah I said it) plus size. But honestly, I don’t even know where to begin with it. (And I seriously haven’t told anyone about this before, but I love you Brittany, so there!)
It’s so anticlimactic now to be the eleventy first person on here to say that I want to write books! :) It’s scary to chase our dreams because they’re where we’re most vulnerable, and it feels so much easier to be the person who had the potential to achieve something, than to potentially be the person who tried but couldn’t hack it. Just in the last few weeks, I’ve decided to put it all on the line and risk being one of the ones who couldn’t. I have my manuscript in the hands of volunteer readers and am making my list of literary agents to query over the summer. It’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. But, just one foot in front of the other, right?
I also have a goal of not being that person whose comment doesn’t immediately show up, and so I then immediately try to re-create it, only to realize later that I commented twice. So, yeah. Apparently still have a ways to go on that.
Right now, I want to let go of all the hurtful, ugly and ignorant things people have said to me in the past. I’ve carried them around with me for more than two decades and they hurt now just as bad as they did when they were first uttered. I don’t want to let other people’s bullshit limit how I live my life any longer. I’m not sure how to go about killing those nasty voices in my head but I really want to try.
I want to do the same thing, but it is hard when you are still near those people. Are you? If not, I can totally help you. If so, I can relate because I live with one of the most evil, hurtful people on Earth: my mother.
Find a good therapist. Start anywhere and if you don’t click with one, keep looking. Don’t give up until you find one that you connect with. I promise, a good therapist will help you find your OWN voice in your head and make it the loudest one. It’s not easy, but you owe it to yourself.
Get them out. I’ve been trying to do the same thing this past month by letting go of all my past bullies. It’s hard and they do stick around still, but it’s easier to roll your eyes or ignore it when you get it out there and have a community of people backing you up (be it in person or online).
Maybe it won’t be the right method for you, but writing down my thoughts and feelings has helped me move past ugly emotions in the past. Maybe give it a shot? And if it doesn’t work, you can try something else. :)
Forgiveness is one of the best gifts you can give yourself or others. Best wishes!
I want to write for a living. I’ve got the talent. I know I do. But I can’t seem to get out of my own way to DO it. A divorce, two fucked up relationships, and losing my dad to cancer have made the last two years really tough and I’m fighting like hell to get out of a very deep depression. I left a very okay life because I am bigger than ‘okay’. I jumped off the cliff because ‘okay’ wasn’t cutting it anymore. I did all of this, I made all of these difficult and scary choices for a reason and, while I’m sitting here afraid to try, I’m doing myself a disservice. I need to kick my own ass into gear and get writing but also pay the bills. YOU, Brittany, are an inspiration because I’ve followed your blog for a few years now and I see you going after the things you want. Keep going; we’re paying attention.
I totally have the same goals and aspirations…I need to kick my own as as well, I’m so glad BG is there to help.
I want to write a novel/autobiography. A fucking amazing one about my crazy childhood, my left-wing high school and then graduating from Pepperdine, a full-fledged heroin addict. I just want to tell my story and make some goddamn money off all this misery!
I want my blog to take off. I want to figure out the innerworkings of the interweb to get myself out there. I think I have a voice (although not unique) and my family sure seems to enjoy me, but I want to reach a broader audience. I want to make money off writing so I can quit the rat race and be more flexible for my kids. I feel like I am entering this race a bit late and am terrified of stealing other people’s material, because there are some flingin flangin good bloggers out there (ahem, Brittany, I feel I am dangerously close to being Single White Female on you, I love you that much.) Plus, most of my 30-something, mom of 2 young kids, long-term wife, food issue ramblings have so been done, but I am just now figuring all this out and want to share my 2 cents.
PS – What a great thread. I love coming to your blog, because there is nothing but support and positivity from other women, not the usual bitchfest that I see so often out there. So nice to be around women nationwide who support and cheer for each other.
PPS – Now I can get back to googling fat barefoot chick in bikini. A girl’s got to get hers somehow.
Let’s team up! I’m new too, and I as well want to get this hit poppin’ on my blog!
I’m currently trying to do this too. I would love to be able to show of my skills using my blog.
What are your blog address’ maybe we can help each other out.
Mine is http://paulavaughan.blogspot.ca/
Thanks girls! Lets do this! Talk with you soon!
1. I want to live debt free.
2. I want to vacation in Bora Bora for a whole week. Unplug the phone and sip cocktails all day and get an amazing tan.
3. I want to lose weight and keep it off. Commit to a complete lifestyle change.
4. I want to get over my fear of relationships.
I want to get my PhD and be a sociology professor. (And write a blog, which is way scarier to me for some reason).
I want to quit living my life in fear – that seems to be all I am doing these days. I’m a separated single mom to a teenager and my future is NOTHING that I thought it would be after 15 years of marriage. I’ve been left for not being “thin enough” and internalized “not good enough” for so long I’m not sure how to be good enough anymore. To deserve to be loved for ME – who is actually not so bad!
I think I’m deep down inside afraid to lose the weight for fear of not being good enough even then; how sad. I want to be an example of follow through for my son – not someone who can’t stay committed to an action for fear of failure.
You rock Brittany! Thank you for this amazing post.
You ARE good enough now! The weight is just external, and losing it won’t be a switch to flip to make yourself happy. You are good enough RIGHT NOW. <3 Take care of your body for your health in whatever way is best for you, but taking care of your joy is a separate effort, and you can do it.
I really want to have a job where I am creative. Right now I am a Receptionist at a software company with my only promotional opportunities being selling software to banks. I want to plan events and show off my interior design skills. Its something I enjoy doing and I know I’m good at but the only way to do it is to quit my job and go back to school. Unfortunately being a new homeowner and having to pay a mortgage and bills I just don’t have the luxury of being able to quit a job for 3 years.
I just want to be happy in both my home life and my career choice.
My dream has always been to write a children’s book and have it published.