So you read Fifty Shades of Grey. You had lots of sex…with yourself and maybe others. And now you have no idea what the hell to do with yourself.

You are in luck, because I’m no quitter, and once I plowed through the Fifty trilogy, I plowed through some more, and have some really porntastic recommendations to keep you all hot and bothered and feeling awkward in public reading situations.

Rock Me, Cherrie Lynn
This was my first post-Fifty book, and ladies, it did not disappoint. Sure, the author’s name is a stripper name, but who cares. If I wrote about throbbing wieners all day, I’d make up a cracked-out name, too.
Pros: This book does sex way better than Fifty Shades, way hotter and way better described. Plus, the girl is way less annoying.
Cons: You’re about to spend an hour googling genital piercings.

Unleashed, Cherrie Lynn
Rock Me was so good, I decided to give another Cherrie Lynn novel a go, and yeah…equally as hot.
Pros: It took me two chapters to realize the characters in this book were related to the characters in Rock Me, which was awesome. Also, the female lead in this book? Awesome. At Last.
Cons: It was far too short.

Bared to You: A Crossfire Novel, Sylvia Day
Ok, here’s the thing. I just read this book after my friend Angie telling me how awesome and similar to Fifty Shades it was. This book wasn’t similar to Fifty, it was better. It was the way Fifty Shades should have been written. You know, well and with a general comprehension of grammar and sentence structure.
Pros: Too many to list, but this story line is extremely similar to Fifty Shades, without the Twilight subtext. The characters are better, the descriptions are better, the vagina words are better.
Cons: What Angie didn’t tell me was, this book was book one of a series. A series that is NOT RELEASED YET, DAMMIT. I am now left with blue balls until book two drops later this year.

The Marriage Bargain, Jennifer Probst
I’m actually not done with this book yet. I bought it out of delayed airline desperation. I needed something to keep busy with while facing a 4-5 hour delay yesterday, so I got this because it was cheap and seemed somewhat interesting. I hated the first chapter, and if I wasn’t reading it through Kindle, I would have thrown it across the airport. But then….yeah, I’m 172 pages in and totally hooked.
Pros: This book seems to have a different take on sex book characters. No more virgin girl meets domineering rich guy thing. I mean, I’m not saying the plot is reinventing the wheel here, but it’s a nice break form the norm.
Cons: The first chapter.  Good God it was irritating. But once you get through it, and agree to accept this whole thing is even plausible, it gets better.


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