Drunk on Fruit

It’s hot. The kind of hot that forces you to have that internal talk with yourself.

Ok Brittany, sit still, accept the heat, breath. If you freak out you’ll start to choke and get claustrophobic in your own skin, and that makes others uncomfortable. Accept the burn. Accepttttt ittttttt.

Obviously, the only solution to this is get get drunk and pretend it’s winter. Join me as I share my three favorite summer cocktails, and we can pretend we both don’t notice the sweat line on the butt of our pants.


The Walking Margarita
If we have to eat fruit, we might as well soak it in alcohol. Slice a watermelon and lay the pieces into a baking dish. Pour a shot of Tequila over each slice, then cover the dish and refrigerate at least 3 hours, overnight is better. Check every so often, and feel free to baste with more booze. Before serving, dip edges in some coarse sea salt and maneuver the heat glass free!


The Popsicle Cocktail
I’ve seen a few photos of people playing around with fruit bars, and I have to say, it makes for a delicious combination. In a glass,  pour half Canada Dry Ginger Ale, half Moscato d’Asti (you can also use champagne). Add a fun straw and a whole fruit bar. We love Strawberry, orange and lime. The fizz will eat away at the fruit bar, giving you a delicious fresh fruit cocktail. I make virgin versions of these for my kids, it’s their favorite summer treat!


Drunken Fruit Salsa
Ok, I’ve posted this recipe before, but it’s truly one of my summer staples, and a hit at every party I schlep it to. You can’t find a simpler recipe. Dice up tons of fresh fruit, whatever is in season. This time I used strawberries, kiwi, pineapple, watermelon, apples, and nectarines. I toss all that in a bowl and top with 2-3 shots of Mandarin Absolute Vodka, and toss to coat. Like all boozey fruit, it’s better if you can let this sit in the fridge to soak for a bit. I usually serve this with either graham crackers or cinnamon sugar chips, but this time I found Cinnamon Magic Pop at my local market, which tasted just like those twisty things from Taco Bell, and it was a great combo!

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  1. says

    I’ve been seeing those walking margaritas on pinterest, but honestly, after the drunken gummy bears and skittles vodka, I’m still a little traumatized. These are better, yes?

    • Brittany says

      In my opinion, yes. Drunken candy is a fun novelty, but there is some clean and refreshing about some cold fresh fruit and alcohol. It tastes, I don’t know, light and clean, not manufactured. If that makes sense.

    • Brittany says

      Exactly. What’s that officer? Oh no, this is just some fruit, getting my daily pyramid all stocked up, no booze over here!

  2. says

    I think I’ll have to do the virgin fruit pops for the kids. They will love those. I make individual sherbert punch for them at home (half ginger ale, half 7up, scoop of sherbert) and they LOVE those. Bet you could turn that into a cocktail too.

  3. Swerds says

    Don’t forget the cherries. Pit some cherries, toss with some Amaretto and chill for a few hours or days. Serve over Angel Food Cake or Pound Cake. YUM!

  4. Heather says

    One more–drunk oranges. Literal Fuzzy Navels–use one of those “cajun injector” marinade injector thingies to put 1/4 c. peach schnapps. We used to do this and smuggle the oranges to school. lol

  5. Kait says

    Heather that is brilliant haha!!

    I am totally making if not all three of these at least the walking margarita or fruit salad and bringing them to our next brewer game!

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