This post might contain spoilers about Magic Mike, assuming we are working on the premise that there is any plot whatsoever.
So, Andy is letting you go see Magic Mike?
*blink, blink*
Dave doesn’t want me to see it, since I made him skip his brother’s bachelor party because there was a stripper coming to his brother’s house.
*blink, blink*
So Andy isn’t mad you are going?
Mad about what? That I am going to go see a poorly acted movie with the guy from G.I. Joe, wherein they dance not entirely naked, I get off on choreography and 90s songs, and then come home and have sex with him? Nah, he’s cool. I basically get just as sexually turned on by Center Stage. Plus he made me go see Striptease in the theater. Twice.
I don’t know what it is about synchronized dance scenes, you guys. They excite me. Heaven forbid I ever stumble in the middle of a real life flash mob, I may need to change my pants.
So I went to see Magic Mike with a bunch of girls, we ate first and drank a bit also, because if we’re being honest, boy parts confuse me. I think it’s the way it just dangles there, like that thing you pull to close a curtain on a stage.
I didn’t really go into Magic Mike expecting much. I assumed it would be like the new Footloose; enter with low expectations, be blown away by hotter Ren and like it better than the original.
So, here are my thoughts.
1. The dancing was fun, and while Channing hasn’t done much for me in the past, I could probably have sex with him now if he wanted.
2. The real winner for me was Matt Bomer. I have previously not seen Bomer in anything, and had no real idea who he was. I am now in love and would maybe concede to him as a Christian Grey. Maybe.
3. Check your watches. It’s now officially the time that I am grossed out by Matthew McConaughey.
4. The least believable part? Mike relationship with Adam’s sister. I mean, I am not doubting that he could like her, but they didn’t really develop a relationship at all, and lip pursing and bitch facing does not a love scene make.
5. Um, can’t they just dance some more? Not that Tarzan guy, but the others ones?
So was new Magic Mike better than old Magic Mike? No, but that’s because I consider The Full Monty to be the OG Magic, and nothing measures up to Mark Addy (you know, the funny British guy who isn’t Ricky Gervais) stripping down to Tom Jones’ You Can Leave Your Hat On.
Hairy schlubs > Hairless waxy McConaughey
I went to see it FOR Matt Bomer and I didn’t like him in it. TOO SKEEZY. I want my sweet, adorable, gay Matt Bomer back.
I thought the movie was actually shockingly legit and like well acted and thoughtful and stuff (and I really bought the relationship between Mike and Brooke) but I totally wanted more of a Full Monty plot where they had to take their clothes off to save their club or their town or something, and it was mostly wangs. Oh well.
I also went to see it specifically FOR Matt Bomer and was likewise disappointed. He just looked to freaking uncomfortable on stage. And the only time he even said anything was during that weird drug scene, which WTF was that even about??? They just wanted to throw in some boobs to try to pacify any guy who might go see it?
Also, Matthew McConhoweveryouspellhisname has never done much for me, and now I feel completely vindicated. I felt like I needed to shower with bleach, he was so gross.
The Full Monty is one of my favourite movies. A theatre near us is putting on the stage production and I tried to convince my Shawn to audition….but he didn’t.
I didn’t even know who Channing was before this movie, but I actually had to Google Matt Bomer after reading this post, and I’m still uncertain who he was. There were other characters besides Magic Mike?
PS: I’m with you about more dancing and about icky McConaughey. I’m guessing he’s there so my mom will go see it?
Bomer as Christian…yes please!
He was on Live with Kelly today and.i am pretty sure you could see her litetally creamin her panties!
Btw…my SIL is having a private screening for the chickies at her Cinemadrafthouse!
My brother is steering way clear.of the theater that day! He wants to take my bf to a stripclub that day ( because my bf has never been!!!)
The only way to see this movie is totally drunk with a bunch of girlfriends. That way, when you scream “Miiikkkkke” before every preview in the theater and then squeal and reach your hands towards to screen the first time you see Joe whatever-his-last-name-is take off his shirt, you won’t be embarrassed by yourself.
p.s. Who cares about the love story? That girl’s lips and teeth really bothered me.
p.p.s. I never want to see Matthew McConaughey bend over in a thong ever again. NEVER EVER.
I’m with you on the dancing. Channing Tatem is an amazing dancer, and that is what I wanted to see. I didn’t care for the stripping as much as the dancing.
I must be a total slut, because I LOVE male bodies, and I loved this movie! Even Matthew McConaughey! The love story was ridiculous, and I didn’t need to see any boobs, but I LOVED the rest!
And if you haven’t watched Matt Bomer in White Collar yet, you’re missing out! GREAT SHOW!
Channing Tatum did nothing for you before this movie? Really? OMG! He’s number one on my list!
I had ALL of those thoughts. I just wanted them all to dance more, minus Tarzan, because he just creeped me out.
Matthew McIcan’tspellhislastname is just gross. Just…no. Thank goodness he wasn’t one of the strippers.
Channing and Joe Manganiello totally did it for me. Oh my geez. Needed to change my underwear when I got home.
I actually believed the relationship between Mike and Adam’s sister, though. I remember those awkward conversations at the beginning of my relationship with my husband, before we kissed or anything. I thought it was sweet.
But for real, they didn’t even need a plot. They actually just needed more of Channing Tatum dancing in that bulletproof vest. Holy sex.
I have loved Matt Bomer FOREVER and when I read 50 Shades he is who I pictured as Christian Grey. I really really hope that they pick him to be Christian Grey because he may be gay but he exudes sexuality!
SO….. I haven’t seen the movie, nor do I really feel the need to but every time I saw the movie poster I would think “One of these things is not like the other”. YEAH. Sorry Matthew McConaughey but you’re just not in the same category as the other men. Also, you’re kind of old and greasy. I’m just sayin’…………….
I’m going to admit here and now that I will see any movie with dance sequences.
Step Up movies – all 16 of them – check.
Honey, Save the Last Dance, Center Stage- check, check and check…etc, etc.
Wha-wha-what? Did you just diss the Mac? I for one will never be able to wash that man’s hard, smooth, naked ass out of my eyes. But then again, I have an aversion to soap.
I only knew Matt Bomer as Blaine’s older brother on Glee. (I think that’s him…)
I was on the fence about the movie until I saw Joe M. was in it. Then I was alllllllll in.
Love Matt Bomer. He’s in White Collar on USA and the only reason I want to see this movie. And YES, his face is the one I pictured while reading all three Fiftys!
I totally liked the movie. Matthew M was a skank! I was all ewww gross but he played that part perfectly.
Steph
You need to watch more White Collar on USA to truly appreciate Matt Bomer even more! And yes, even reading the 50 shades books, he’s pretty much who I always pictured as Christian – this movie locked that role in my mind for me!
matthew m was gross looking in the pics i saw online about the magic mike. makes me think he smells like old -man-fart-sweat and self tanner.
Hey, who’s that hot red-head in the back? ;)
I’d totally forgotten this movie was coming out but seem to recall that Matthew M was kind of grosssss in the trailer. I don’t know how much of that was deliberate fake-tannery, but he has certainly lost the nawwwwwww factor from How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days anymore. Sigh.
Also, apparently Channing Tatum actually used to be a stripper. That’s how he was discovered. Or something.