There is nothing I love more in life than finding people who will take my shit, and then give it right back to me.

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A friend told me recently that I was like a kid with ADD.  And, it’s true.  Most days I am beating away at 900 different things, hoping one of them makes noise, because sometimes, I just need someone to come back at me just as, if not crazier, than I am.  It makes me feel sane.

Also, it’s a great way to ward of bears.  Like, they think they want to eat you, but then after 5 minutes of them watching you try to eat yourself, they’re all, bitch be crazy, Imma find myself a salmon.

Maybe that’s how we fight terrorism, just try and out-crazy them?  No, I’m going to put a bomb in my vagina!

I swear if I wrote West Side Story, nobody would have knives, just a 75 minute parade of Yo Mama jokes and then a 15 minute tickle fight.

Anyways, this week I spoke about how our house in Florida was haunted, and then asked you to tell me your real life ghost stories too, so my doctor will realize I don’t need a medication adjustment. I realized why my parents loved Halloween in the country so much, even though I thought it blew. (spoiler alert: they were high.) I got good and shallow about fucking Kim Kardashian. And then I kissed a teeny tiny man.

And also, DID YOU KNOW, Beavis & Butt-head is back on? IT IS! So I wrote about it, and you probably won’t agree with me and Kurt Loder, but that’s fine. Me and the Lodes can take it.

And now for the cool shit I found on the internet…

A huge shout out to my friend Jenny Talia and her bad ass song…about stalking. Fucking brilliance.

GUESS WHAT! I’m moving. You know, because of the zombies.

Awwww fuck. My ovaries just grew three sizes. Or maybe it’s just a tumor.

I want to buy this, spray paint the words STOP IT on it, then hang it next to my mirror.

Remember! Check out the latest episode of Brittany & Meredith Live, 50k iTunes downloads and going strong! Seriously, doing this is my most favorite thing ever, and if you ever want to talk to us live on the air, let me know! I mean, we’ll be drunk, but I’ll totally remember your name, baby, don’t be like that.

Also, catch up on The Brittany Emails, updated daily courtesy Mr. Gibbons.

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