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Weeks are long.  Yellowtail’s new Moscato is orgasmic.  Sundays are dirty.  Let’s relive it together.

I’m human again.  At last.

If I knew how to juggle, I’d be using a juggling analogy here, but I don’t.  I blame the fact that my left arm reacts slower than my right. It’s like the Of Mice and Men of arms.  Right handed golf clubs, right handed scissors, right handed vibrators, it’s basically a physical disability.

But, if I could juggle, I would be saying that for months, I have been juggling way too many knives, but at long last, some of those knives have been taken away.  Probably to be used to stab terrorists or unattractive turtles.

I’m guessing, this is an analogy.

The point is, my brain has the freedom to write once again, so I’m going to go ahead and do that.  Probably in a much more frequent and irreverent (offensive, raunchy, contradictory, weird) fashion.  Consider yourself warned.

Let’s wrap up the week.

Last Saturday, I had the pleasure of speaking at the 2011 Gleek Retreat, which is my second year talking at this fabulous Michigan boutique conference.  I spoke with my co-hort, Heather Spohr, about how to successfully launch, run, and monetize a group blog, which is a topic I am passionate about, as CGG is quickly approaching a half a million a month in readership, which blows my mind.  So, the conference was a blast, culminating in a lovely evening of laughter and beer drinking at an outdoor pub in gorgeous Holland, Michigan.

After that, it was a mad dash home to get ready for my trip to New York.  It was bananas. Tuesday we headed off to Connecticut to do a Connecticut style program, then Wednesday I was up at 3am to begin a marathon of 26 news and radio satellite interviews, and finally Thursday, we spent the morning with Sam, Robin, George and Lara at Good Morning America.  In our bathing suits. Pretty much nothing better than standing in front of three cameras half naked, and taxi drivers ogling your goodies.  While they make HD tv make up for your face, they apparently don’t make it for your boob stretchmarks or the area where your thighs rub together.

This was also a big week, as we are now full force into launching the 2nd annual I (still) Do 2!  Our jam packed Vegas couples getaway, full of glitter, booze, Elvis and non-stop debauchery.  If you missed out last year, don’t make the same mistake twice, because this year, it’s bigger, better, and chock full of the kind of scandalous revelry that truly stays in Vegas.  Click here to check out photos from last year’s event.

In Curvy Girl Guide news, we welcome our newest columnist, Tanesha.  Click here to check her out! I swear to God, y’all.  she is fucking stunning and I would give all the eggrolls in the world to have her move into my house to dress me every day.  I am totally adding her to my list of people whom I wish I could have my head transplanted onto, right under that baby in India with six arms, but above Gretchen from Real Housewives of Orange County.

Also, I beat Lego Pirates of the Caribbean on X-Box in 4 days.  Having boys makes me a totally video game bad ass.

Things I liked this week would include, this bad ass women’s anthem from Audrey, this reminder I’m too old to wear glitter, this because I love almost all phallic foods, and this reminder why sometimes Facebook is funny.

To keep up with everything I love, I suggest stalking me on Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace.

I’m just kidding, Obama shot MySpace, like, two years ago.

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