Weeks are long. Sundays are dirty. Let’s get drunk and light stuff on fire!
Under normal circumstances, I could take or leave summer. Between the boob sweat and the chaffing, it basically has no redeeming qualities.
I see it as one long razor burned bikini line countdown to fall.
With the exception of the 4th of July.
Maybe it’s the food, the bonfires, the societal acceptance of drunken arson, I don’t know, but I love it.
Since moving farther out into the country, with a giant pond and no restrictive village ordinances about open flames, our summers have been a blur of bonfires, night fishing and porch rocking. It’s rare we drag ourselves inside before 10pm, and when we do, we stink of cold beer, campfire smoke and bug spray.
The 4th of July is like that, times about a jillion.
So we are in day two of a three day weekend of ridiculous food, rad alcohol, and lots and lots of fireworks.
To recap my week, I came out of the closet about being terrified to leave my kids with babysitters who didn’t personally birth me themselves, therefore verifying in my brain their ability to keep things alive.
I also called out America’s sweetheart for the elitist he is.
And on CGG, Kristen Howerton outed herself as a bad ass. Suck it Forever 21.
I did find some sweet stuff online this week, I mean, how the hell did we ever feed ourselves before the internet?
First up, vodka heaven.
Skittles Vodka. I mean, really, fresh out of the freezer and it just doesn’t get any yummier.
The Watermelon Keg. Tonight we are filling it with unfrozen watermelon margarita, which we finely blended with our magic bullet, which is a blender. Not to be confused with my magic bullet, which is a vibrator, and completely useless in this situation.
Also on the menu tonight is some cowboy sushi and grilled corn, avocado and tomato with honey lime dressing salad to go with our ribeyes.
When I’m not eating, drinking and screaming SERIOUSLY THE SPARKLER WIRE IS HOT OMG EVERYONE KEEP YOUR SHOES ON, this stuff caught my eye.
Who wants to take bets for how long until Wyatt does this to me?
One of the most brilliant inventions ever.
And finally, further proof that Will Ferrell and Dave Grohl are magical, mythical creatures.
Have a happy and safe 4th of July, y’all!
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My fiance works 4th of July night. Which sucks. However….skittles vodka here I come!
http://instagr.am/p/G1NVF/
sometimes alcohol and fire do not mix.
When Will caressed Dave’s thigh I lost it. Mythical and magial, indeed!
Have a wondermous 4th, Brittany. Cheers!
Ooh, you can lots of pretty coloured/patterned (well, belly bands, BUT STILL) on Etsy cheap! http://www.etsy.com/search/handmade?search_submit=&q=haramaki
We’ve had so many fires they’ve banned fireworks here this year. It is the first year I can ever remember that happening. Several of the local fireworks shows won’t even be done this year.
The Foos are my favorite band….this clip is hilarious! “You’re fuckin me up Will…”
The watermelon keg is sheer genius.
magic mullet??! sounds kinky…
I saw that too, and I instantly pictured a vibrator with a really bad add on hair accessory. It wouldn’t work for me though, because I’ve always thought Billy Ray Cyrus was a douche.
How do one get on pintrest? When I go there, it says “regquest an invite”. I do, but then nothing happens??
I just emailed one to you!