I can’t bake.

Not even a little.

But, I was hosting a cookie exchange at my house, so my hands were tied.

Confession:  I hate potlucks, cookie exchanges and bake sales.  I have this weird thing about eating food other people made, out of bowls, plates and crockpots from their house.  The person could be totally clean and the food could be delicious, it’s just a mental thing that leaves me completely grossed out.

I do, however, like to gather with friends to drink.

So, since I am really good at concocting alcoholic beverages, I figured, I could distract them with Skittles Vodka, Bourbon Slushies, and large bottles of Moscato, and them serve them a sub par baked good, and they wouldn’t know the difference.

So, I decided to try my hand at making bark.  Because I could do it in my microwave, and basically toss in whatever I had handy around the house.  I call it vomit bark.  But not, like, out loud…because then no one would eat it and I don’t need this shit hanging around the house.

But, then, the weirdest part was, it turned out to actually taste good, which completely came out of left field for me, so after I was done high fiving myself, I typed it up to share with all of you, because sometimes, you just gotta fake it ’til ya make it.


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Peppermint Oreo Chocolate Bark
Author: 
Recipe type: Dessert
Prep time: 
Cook time: 
Total time: 
Serves: 10-20
 
An easy dessert, fun to make with kids, and a perfect to serve at Holiday parties, or to give away as gifts!
Ingredients
  • 1 bar (1lb 8oz) Chocolate Flavored Almond Bark
  • 1 bar (1lb 8oz) Vanilla Flavored Almond Bark
  • 1 Box of traditional Peppermint Candy Canes, crushed
  • 1 Bag Oreos with Red & White Peppermint filling, crushed
  • 1 tsp Peppermint Extract
Instructions
  1. Line a cookie tray with wax paper, and spray lightly with non stick cooking spray.
  2. In a microwave safe container, break up the chocolate bark into large pieces, place in bowl, and microwave for 60 seconds.
  3. Stir chocolate bark, and place back into the microwave for 30 seconds.
  4. Remove from microwave and pour onto cookie sheet, spreading around evenly with a spatula. Let harden, about 30 minutes.
  5. When the chocolate layer is hard, in another microwave safe bowl, break up the vanilla bark and microwave for 60 seconds.
  6. Remove bowl, stir, and place back into microwave for an additional 30 seconds.
  7. Remove bowl and add 1 tsp of Peppermint Extract to melted vanilla bark, stir to mix. Once completely mixed, pour vanilla bark over chocolate bark, smoothing evenly with a spatula.
  8. Sprinkle crushed candy canes and oreos evenly over the wet vanilla layer, and gently press in to secure the chunks of candy into the chocolate. Let dry, about 30 minutes. (preferably overnight)
  9. Once chocolate is completely hardened, break apart into large chunks and enjoy!

 

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