This post contains spoilers, lots of them!
It occurred to me, internet, that I never reviewed the final book of the Fifty Shades series, Fifty Shades Freed.
Maybe it’s because I was too busy smoking a cigarette or being numb from the waist down, the reason doesn’t really matter, the fact is, it happened, I read it, and now I’m making Andy read it, because yes, I know it’s taboo, but women, real ones, really do like this sort of thing in real life.
The good news is, Fifty Shades Freed has the biggest plot yet, and it doesn’t have to do with sex! Ok, yeah, it does have to do with sex, a little bit, but I mean, I can only take so much humping before my eyes glaze over. To be honest, I’m just glad she finally had something in her backside, the build up was insane.
The beginning of Freed was a little wonky. A lot of flashbacks and jumping around, but it was a means to an ends. As in, we got to learn about the interesting parts of their wedding and honeymoon, without actually having to live through it.
I grew to love Christian Grey in this book. His character really developed and bloomed…even if the blooming was totally fucked up and creepy. And though my eyes rolled, almost all the way to the back of my head, when Ana misunderstood how birth control worked and ended up knocked up (seriously, did she grow up Amish?), I loved the twist it took, and ultimately, how it ended. Mostly because Andy acted the same way when he found out we were pregnant. Less spanking and anal sex, obviously, but freaked out none the less.
Honestly, I am just glad this whole thing didn’t end with a half vampire baby with a stupid name.
Now, on to the important stuff! As you may have heard, Fifty Shades of Grey was picked up by a studio and will be made into a movie. I know. I have no idea how that will happen, either. But, I’m excited all the same.
So, in honor of that, I thought I would help the Fifty Shades of Grey movie casting process along with my top picks…
Christian Grey… Armie Hammer, I will never not picture Armie as Fiddy. Period.
Anastasia Steele… Lily Collins, she is the only one who could play this role and not annoy me.
Kate Kavanagh…Ashley Greene, this was tough, honestly I can see Mandy Moore or Ashley Greene in this role.
Elliot Grey… Chase Crawford, I mean, what else is he doing right now? Is Gossip Girl even still on the air?
Taylor… David Morse? You know, that guy that everyone recognizes but has no fucking clue who he is. That guy.
Really, you should all be excited, because previous to whatshisface here, I pictured Chuy as Taylor. So. Yeah.
Mrs. Jones… Helen Mirren. I don’t know, I just picture her cleaning the Red Room of Pain.
Elena aka Mrs. Robinson… Ellen Barkin, as suggested in the comments, brilliant pick!
Who did you picture as you were reading this series?
Click here for my review of Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker! Laters, baby.
OHHHHHH Christian’s Theme Song for the first book “Head Like A Hole” by Nine Inch Nails.
“Head like a Hole, black as your soul, I’d rather die than give you control. Bow down before the one you serve, you’re gonna get what you deserve.”
I would have to say Matt Bomer as Christian Grey
I whole heartedly agree. Matt Bomer oozes charisma.
I looked up who Matt Boomer was and OH YES!!!! He IS Christian Grey!!
If Kaya Scoldelario is gonna play Anastasia have Luke Pasqualino. Also from SkinUK 2nd Gen,
Play Jose. The beautiful people, the beautiful people.
I think Luke is gorgeous. Have you seen him on “The Borgias”? Sadly, his performance wasn’t long-lived. )=
Anyway, I think that Luke looks too Italian (obviously). If you’ve seen the most recent season/generation of Skins, Matty would be a great Jose.
Yes I have seen the 3 gen of skins. Yes Matty could totally be Jose but he looks so young, Although I’m sure he would do a good job at it. In fact come to think of it Matty does have that endearing , artistic, your cute but only as a friend quality. . Plus here in the States Hispanic -American men and Italian-American men have very similar features. So give me some Luke !!! I would t know the difference. Hope that didnt come off wrong. BTW I’m pleasantly surprised with some of the acting abilities of the 3rd gen…. Particularly Alo and Liv characters. At first they had me worried. But I digress.,,,
And I say make Ellen Barkin Dr. Treyvelan and Charlize Theron as Mrs. Robinson .
I would LOVE to see Ian Somerhalder as Christian!
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRFmENvqSuSJBwUD76a6ZhJghbbcy8VQAJjwbL55fdUZh21
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I would love to see him play Christian too!!! He would be the best. I still cannot deside on a girl to play Ana, it would have to be someone who looks innocent but can play the role on screen….
I find him alittle creepy….. Matt Boomer is a better pick
I actually pictured Zoey Deschanel as Ana and the weird thing is that my husband said the same exact thing.
Christian Bale as Christian Grey, combining his Bruce Wayne and Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) personnas! He may look a little older than the 27 year old Grey, but personally the characters he played above are exactly what I was picturing the whole time I was reading.
Christian Bale is the first person that came to mind for me too. The second I started reading the book.
just love your picks! i wonder what the AMA rating will be? i wish my husband would read it too!
i would LOVE Chris Hemsworth as Christian and Felicity Jones or Amanda Seyfried as Ana!!!!
I completely agree or Captian America
Honestly I can only see Alexander skarsgard is who I actually saw just thinking about his role in true blood, this would be perfect for him abs as for Ana… Idk but I want him as Christian!
Joe Manganiello as Christian Grey – that’s who I pictured. I think all females would have their “ideal” physical specimen in this role!
I think Iam Somerhalder looks too…devilish (for lack of a better word) to play CG. A male dom doesn’t have to look rough and gruff and intense (essentially, they just have to have those inner traits to a degree). Especially in this book since CG has many endearing, tender qualities that would be hard to reconcile with 24/7 smoldering facial characteristics. It’s not necessary. Watch the movie “Secretary” with Maggie Gyllenhaal. You’ll see. (=
I’m still stuck with Henry Cavill. He has the perfect face for this. He has these soft features but I’ve seen him look very determined and aggressive when acting. I’m sure he could switch it on and off quite easily.
My two top choices for Fiddy is:
Chris Hemsworth or Chris Evans, I know I know this is Thor or Captian America but you need to google some images. I promise you won’t regret it and they can definitely set the imagery of Mr. Grey oh so appropriately!!!!
Ana should be Camilla Belle or Lilly Collins!!!!! No Twillight here; sorry;(
Yeah I pictured Camilla Belle as Ana while reading the book…….good choice
Actually I thought about it and Ryan Gosling (the notebook) would be even better!!!!!!!!!! He would be a PERFECT Christian!
I know I’m a little late responding, but I just started reading the book last night and read for like 4 hours. I thought the same thing – Ryan Gosling as Christian and Emma Stone as Kate.
I’m so glad I came across this blog, I just finished listening, yes listening, the fifty gagging shades of crap… I’m too lazy to pick the book, so I figured it could be a good idea to listen while at work… Thank god for fast forward… This is the kind of book I come a cross and makes me re-think my job… For being a writer you will think she could come up with more original concepts besides that “inner goddess” for some sick reason images of the “Lizzie McGuire” show came to my mind as the main character talks to herself as a cartoon… Ohhh and the same revolting feeling when I happened to stumble among the twilight series, (fast forward, my friend) , and how to forget… “oh my” “delicious” hell I at least google synonims when I’m texting my boyfriend… Anyway back to my frustrated idea, I might as well write some crap and put some sex in it! ( this is my inner cartoon goddess)
And of course how not fantasize about Mr Grey, Audi, apple, and he is hot… I was thinking Alexander Scargard from true blood… Bad sick boy! But I wont watch the movie though… Too shameful to even confess this!
“the cartoon delicious goddess”!
Ps: I love this blog! You are hilarious! ( excesses of exclamation points means is the “witching” hour at a graveyard shift!!!!!!!!!!!)
Namaste.
OMG!! This is the perfect lineup!! Armie Hammer as Christian Grey… flawless! The other choices work too, I agree with Ana not being annoying and Ellen Barkin would be a great Mrs. Robinson!
lily collins is a genius choice! i personally cannot picture anyone but chris hemsworth as christian but other than that your casting is SPOT ON! get this girl to hollywood!
I think it should be Alexander Skarsgaard!
yes me too!!
i did an image search on the title of the book and found your blog. you could not have chosen a more perfect cast, seriously….. i totally commend you!
You nailed it for Ana and Chris! Great choices
You made me laugh. Love you.
I would have to say colin egglesfield for christan grey, emmy rossum for anna, blake lively for kate and thats all i have so far.
That’s crazy, I thought Emmy would be a great Ana as well. She’s already used to doing fairly explicit sex scenes for Shameless on showtime (and she’s my dream girl!) and I think she could actually pull the character off without being a super annoying virgin-stereotype like the Ana in the book. Seriously, she has a great range and isn’t afraid to get dirty.
I so see Charlize Theron as Elena aka Mrs. Robinson. Emilia Clarke (game of thrones) as Ana, Naomi Watts as Mrs. Jones, Diane Lane as Dr. Trevelyan-Grey, Josh Dallas for Christian, Pierce Brosnan as Mr. Grey, Liam Neeson as Taylor
Nikki- I love your choices especially on the women. I googled Emilia Clarke, great pick, she definetly could be Ana. I’m set on Henry Cavill as Grey. But how about Daniel Craig as Taylor. Or is that too much hotness in one movie?
I don’t know if its possible to have too much hottness! Lol!
Please write another book
Matt Bomer would make a great Christian. He’s got the eyes, locks, body, and dominance to be a believable kinky billionaire, whereas Ian Somerhalder gives off a totally wrong vibe for this role. He’s sexy, but looks more like the spoiled billionaire’s son than Mr. Grey. I don’t think he’s got the acting knowhow to carry the role. As for Armie Hammer, he’s a strong contender but also falls short…he’s too “vanilla” with no sense of struggle. As for Anastasia, Lily Collins isn’t a bad choice, but I’d rather see Alexis Bledel rise to the occasion. It will be more captivating/believable to witness a good girl turn bad than the other way around. Ana needs to be pretty, but not sexy or overly confident. Kate should be the extroverted one, and Hayden Panettiere might be a good fit. As for Taylor, David Morse would be great if he was 10 years younger. I picture him around the same age as Christian, and he’s got a little girl. David Morse might be more appropriate for Ray, although I see someone less intimidating and scruffier. Any ideas? Tom hardy crossed my mind to play Taylor, with a shaved head no doubt. Helen Mirren would be an awesome Mrs. Jones, but I doubt she’s take sure a small role. They could go more middle-aged than Mirren. Ellen Barkin OR Sharon Stone would kill this role…leaning more towards Sharon Stone.
Ryan Gosling!!! Hes so damn sexy yet he could play CEO and fifty shades of f*ucked up!!!
I’m a Cavill fan for the CG part but Gosling.. He’s amazing. Such a great actor. Did you see him in “Drive” that intensity mix that with “Crazy, Stupid, Love” Swag he had going on. OMG!! Cold shower time… However Gosling would be my second pic. Reading the book I pictured Henry
for the part.
I love your casting choices.
Channing Tatum for Christian! I have had numerous people agree with me on this. Armies gorg but who wouldn’t want to see Channing getting naked over and over!?
me! channing tatum is gross.. I wouldnt wanna see him get naked over and over.. looks like a trailer park sausage
I want that guy who play Damion on the vampire diaries to play
Christian Grey. I think his name is Ian somthing
Several people see Matt Bomer as Christian. No way. He’s gorgeous but his being gay would create lack of credibility for me. Similar to the Dougie Houser guy on “How I Married Your Mother” being gay but playing a womanizer. Doesn’t work.
Totally agree with Matt Bomer as Christian,,to quote Ana,,”Oh my”,,,
Him being gay in real life wouldn’t ruin it for me. NEVER thought about
Ellen Barkin for Mrs. Robinson! Perfect! I have to admit I have though about
Emma Stone for Kate. Anyone agree?
Oh -I would love Matt Bomer to be Christian – everytime she describes the pants hanging off his hip that’s who I think of.
I 100% picture David Morse in my head for Taylor. LOL.
I’ve thought about Emma Stone for Kate! Perfect
Felicity Jones as Ana and Ryan Gosling as Christian
what about Ryan Reynolds or Bradley Cooper? So hot but I’m not sure if they are “50 shades of f**ked up” enough. Love Alexander Skarsgard…..he can pull of the sweet tender side and the kinky side!!! So lost with the other characters….I love the choices you have made so far! Would love to be the casting director!
I pictured Gabriel Aubrey as Christian. I love all of your other selections , wow it’s like you went iny head! It’s really hard for me to see anyone else in that role.
Ok, at first reading I immediately pictured Christian Bale much like another commentor based on his American Psycho role. Then the more I read I thought of Joseph Morgan! He plays Klauss on The Vampire Diaries. I think Ian Somerhalder would be good too,but for me its Jospeh Morgan!
You hit the nail on the head!!! Perfect casting. I hopw someone listens to ya! As for Taylor, Thats EXACTLY what I pictured him as when reading the books! I just finished Darker and wanted to see if anyone had written about Freed. Can’t wait to get my hands on it!
Mmmmm…I picture Christian Bale, too, but sadly, he is too old. Pity.
As for Mrs. Robinson? For me, it could only be Kim Cattrall.
Jury is out on Ana.
Ooo….Kim Catrall would be good!
I always pictured rooney mira as ana.
Alexis Bledel with those striking blue eyes as Anastasia and Alexander Skarsgard as Christian
with Sharon Stone as Mrs. Robinson
One actor and one alone was pictured in my mind, and burnt into it well after each pause duri g the series…Michael Fassbender. all anyone us to do is check out the latest GQ spread on him…obviously the art director for that shoot has read the book and shares my opinion…it’s as if Christian Grey comes to life for six utterly insane shots that are too now burned in my mind.
Oh my!
When I was reading the book all I kept thinking about was the Thomas Crown Affair. – The original with Steve Mcqueen <3 not the Bronson remake. Couldn't help it him in his glider plane so smooth and faye Dunaway was Ana in my mind SIGH – next thingI know I am in the middle of the grocery store thinking about the book and singing Windmills of My Mind (out loud) This will without doubt become the ULTIMATE chick flick even more so than the Notebook, Sex in th eCity, and Titanic combined.
For anyone who’s seen “Velvet Goldmine”, they’ll know Jonathan Rhys-Meyers already can play a beautiful redhead. And Emmy Rossum can easily play an innocent and proves on “Shameless” that she doesn’t mind busting out the boobies on camera.
Who would you pick for Mia and Ethan? AKA Emmett and Rosalie
I believe Helen Mirren (although i love her) is too old for that role. I believe both Mrs. Jones and Mr. Taylor were mentioned to be in their mid to late 30’s. I thought of Christopher Meloni or C. Thomas Howell for Taylor. Matt Bomer or Ian H as Christian. Alexis Bidel would be a great Ana in my opinion. Your picks are very good though.
I pictured Joe Manganiello as Christian, Amanda Seyfried as Anastia, Emma Stone as Kate, Ashley Green as Mia, Liam Hemsworth as Elliot, Liam Neeson as Carrick, Helen Mirren as Grace, Sharon Stone as Mrs. Robinson, and Jason Stathom as Taylor
Ellen Barkin IS Elena!