1. FUCKING ALARM.
2. I’ll never again be judged for late pre-school pick up
3. No tuition. I’ll be rollin’ in hundred dolla bills, y’all…with my mind on my money and my money on my mind. Or, you know, pay my utilities on time.
4. No last minute realization today is our snack day. Which, spoiler alert, the collection of fortune cookies I have amassed in the drawer does not count. Even though they are ethnic flare with fun reading exercises inside. FINE. More lucky numbers for me, assholes.
5. Home Ec. Everyday. It’s never too early to learn how to do laundry and vacuum. And, I know what you are thinking, but Brittany, by the time your kids are in college, there’ll be robots to do all that. WRONG. Until I get my flying car, or my hovering skateboard, or a robot who will rub my neck and not look like a vibrator so my mom freaks out when she finds it, they’ll be sorting whites and sucking up pennies.
6. FUCKING ALARM.
The list keeps growing…
Don’t forget the important life lessons soap operas teach! No one else is going to teach them how to switch blood test results to assure their offspring a trustfund. Win win
Oh and telenovelas for foreign language.
How about scrambling to get clean underwear dry, because OMG WHY didn’t you TELL me you put your last clean pair on yesterday??
Truth? We have loads of commando days.
I can’t afford tuition..so that isn’t even an option for me. But I hear you on the fucking alarm!
HELLZ yes.
(and that is my only contribution to this discussion.)
I dont get the problem with the alarm thing cause i get up every morning at 430am to go to the gym
but
I do think that the shit kids pickup in public school is almost worth them being home schooled.
I vote for the sleeping in.
and
agree that there are plenty of things they can learn at home that they will need out in the real world. Like auto machanics.
just sayin
I mean, it can be like trade school. At home.
Don’t forget “new math.” That’s definitely a reason to home school.
Pajama Day!!!!
Pajama WEEK!
pajama year, duh!
But none of those outweigh the one damn good reason not to: 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with all of your kids. All the time. I never love my son more than the first day back to school after a break.
Ooooo AMEN!
And just like that, you’ve brought me back to reality.
There’s two kinds of people in the world. Those that can homeschool and those that can’t. I fall in the later category. There’s a special place in heaven set aside for homeschoolers.
Ok yes. The fact of the matter is, I can’t homeschool. But…sometimes it’s fun to dream.
The alarm is the worst. Sometimes I dream about not working after I win the lottery, but then I realize that I’ll still have to get up to take my kids to school and the dream just gets all sucky. And not the good kind of sucky.
Exactly. I was all excited to send my kids to school and then I realized I had to wake up early. Just like when I was in school. And it quickly became LOTS LESS AWESOME.
i was homeschooled as a child and it was the best thing my mom has ever done for me.
and i am an employed college graduate, so it DOES work ;)
That is AMAZING!
Don’t forget NO DRESS CODE and no second mortgage to pay for school supplies! Flour and water DOES make paste, ya’ll!
I think no dress code means no laundry.
I did public school for all of elementary school and one year of high school. Then I switched to a charter school. The charter school was actually really awesome. We had “facilitators” who would require that we did so many assignments for each subject, parents would grade the homework (I actually graded my own because my parents were busy and I was actually honest), and I had to meet with my facilitator bi-weekly to turn in my assignments for official grading. I took the best science class I’ve had to this day at the charter school itself, I could take courses at the community college for high school and college credit, and, if I had wanted to, I could have even continued taking classes at the high school I previously attended. The absolute best part was that I was allowed to submit poems I wrote instead of doing assignments out of my English books, and I was able to call vacuuming PE. Oh, and I’m pretty sure they let me count watching the History Channel as history homework.
And it was free.
Public school can suck it.
Public school CAN suck it.
I’m thinking this will be followed tomorrow by “Compelling reasons NOT to homeschool”. ;-)
Fuckin’ alarm.
Yes, like after I drag myself out of bed all WHY THE CRAP ARE MY KIDS ALWAYS HOME OMG!?
Forget the money – you spend it on art lessons and ice skating and all sorts of curricula items that look like fun but turn out not to be.
I love my children and hate that fucking alarm more than you could know but I definitely don’t have what it takes to homeschool. I don’t have the discipline to get the work done and would probably end up in the looney bin if I spent All. Day. Every. Day. with my kids. I’m better off at the office with them in school where we can all benefit from some sane stucture. It’s nice to dream of chucking the damned alarm though :)
I just keep coming back to the alarm issue. Really a perfect world may consist of school from say 11 a.m.-7p.m. Tuesday-Friday. Monday is “home school” day when all homework and projects are done.
I will attest to this: too many of my kids friends graduating don’t know how to cook, clean up or do their laundry. However they’re in AP Calculus.
<3 homeschooling!
1) the first 4 years of school consist of the teacher judging YOU every time your kid doesn’t do his homework.
2) Today is library day. Bring back your book. No? It’s PE? Wear sneakers. What? 50 cents for ice cream? I CAN’T KEEP IT ALL STRAIGHT.
3) If I want my kid to say the word “fuck”, I’ll teach him myself, you mangy boys on the school bus!
We homeschool and every once in a while there is an entire day of House. You know: Health.
But seriously? When my kids were in public school, I was there almost as much as they were. I did feel like *I* was in school again. I mean, that’s not why we’re homeschooling, but yeah. It’s like that.
Also? We pretty much have the schedule The Mayor wants! I love it.
We actually do homeschool, and started for sooo many of those reasons. We don’t really roll out of bed until 8ish, and my sons are all 3 currently sitting on the living room floor in their underwear/diaper. It’s magical.
I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been addressed but a drawback to home schooling….THEY NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE! I finally have a break for a week that doesn’t match the kid’s school break and it. is. heaven!
I laughed so hard at this post. Thank you for that. Also, one of my favorites is being able to refer to my children as “the little truants.” I just get a kick outta that especially when we’re out at the near-empty museums or parks during school hours
I was reading the comments, and it is making me re-think my origianl comment of, “Homeschooled kids are weird.” Maybe I am wring about that. But kids being around you 24/7 would suck. So send them to school. Find a driver. Or a nanny.
My kids’ education would be stunted at the the same level as me: second grade. Although, I could combine a math and science lesson together by teaching them how to make vodka-lemonades in beakers. I might be on to something…