I never understood when people would say…we just aren’t financially ready to have kids.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s totally fine, you know, to set your own benchmarks to surpass before parenthood, but mine were never financial.
Personally, my time line was based on how low my boobs were currently sitting and how elastic my tummy was.
Looking in the mirror, it appears I still failed. I think my peak pregnancy body recovery age was 11. Ahhhh hindsight.
Regardless, thanks to insurance, the act of actually pushing out and subsequent owning of a baby was relatively low. Sure, there were ad ons; designer clothes, organic formula, fancy monitors, futuristic one hand closing strollers, moonroofs…but the basics were cheap. Clean onsie. Diaper. Boob.
I was surprised just how thrifty this whole baby thing was. I mean, aren’t they adorable? I might just have ten more of them and they can just raise themselves and we can all learn an instrument and travel around the country singing in clothes we made from our curtains
Then two years ago, Jude started preschool. Our local schools are…not good. (This is why people buy houses based on school districts and not on things like refrigerators in the garage with built in beer taps. Lesson learned.) So, we opted for the private Catholic school I attended. A year later, Wyatt joined him.
This fall Jude starts kindergarten at full tuition rates and a bonus nut kick of uniforms.
I went to the store on Sunday, and so far, they have gone through 2 gallons of milk, a box of graham crackers, 3 rolls of toilet paper, a block of cheese, 2 bottles of wine (ok, that might have been mostly me), a bag of mini carrots, a box of fruit roll-ups (also me), and we’re on our second loaf of wheat bread.
And, do you have any idea how expensive it is to have an old man named Bart snake underwear and giant unwrapped maxi pads out of your drain?
I’m pretty sure Oprah isn’t financially ready to have kids.