We always wear our pajamas to the drive-in. Coming down from a sugar high is way easier if we don’t have to change into our comfy pants mid withdrawal.
If you were in my brain right now, you would be scared and claustrophobic and there would be absolutely no place to put your drink down, and honestly, even if there was, I wouldn’t do it, because you never know when someone will put roofies in there.
I am…fucking crazy driven.
Which is relatively new, because I was never that way before. I wanted to be a doting wife, an amazing mother who kept a clean house and knew what words like flax seed and gluten free meant, and I simply had zero career aspirations outside of one day writing a book when I wasn’t too busy procreating and dusting.
Today, none of that is my life. I am easily a month behind on laundry. I haven’t cooked in days. I think my period is 2 weeks early or 4 weeks late, I can’t even remember when it’s supposed to be, and also, I have no tampons.
I’m writing a hilarious book with Shauna Glenn.
I’ve been asked to contribute to Rebecca Regnier’s amazing new television show.
Mouth Media has, like, three new business launching, and I have this new local event that I’ve decided to put on WHY THE FUCK NOT, Y’ALL!?
Last week Andy asked me if we won the lottery tomorrow, would I be ok never working again and just sitting around being rich.
I said no.
First, that would be impossible, because he never lets me play the lottery. He thinks no one really wins it, much like how the moon landing was staged.
Second, just no. If I stop creating all the things swirling around in my head, I will either become a hoarder or turn my house into a creepier version of Neverland Ranch.
So there is the madness.
Not that you care or needed to hear any of that, but I’m rationing my last couple Xanax’s until my next appointment, and I could either vomit it out here or talk to Gigi about it, but she is potty training, and I feel weird working out my career goals with people whose vagina I just wiped.
In other news, MTV turned 30, and I wrote about it here. Spoiler alert, I’m old and cranky.
I was announced as a TED speaker. Look at all these smart people. And then me.
I also drew more horses to illustrate my life. You’re welcome furries. (confused? try this.)
And, I took pictures of Andy while he slept and then my mom reminded my why old people aren’t allowed to have technology.
Here is some cool stuff I found on the internet this week:
This is my most favorite post about people who piss me off on Facebook.
The only way I could ever fly sober.
Motivation enough to get into the zombie pond? Mayyyybeeeee.
And whoever is in charge of the milk ads? I’d like to hire you to do my head shots, please.
To keep up with everything I love, I suggest joining me on Pinterest, StumbleUpon, Facebook, Google +, and Twitter.
I’m impressed by you frequently. I wish I was brave enough to do the things I want.
Awesome! If anyone can do it, it’s you. Good luck with everything.
Take a breath. Don’t worry about Mt. Laundry. I always have laundry that needs done, it never gets caught up and my kids are way older than yours. I figure the house will be clean and I’ll have nice stuff when all the kids move out. And busy women are always the best kind. AND, I’m kind of jealous that you and Shauna are writing a book together.
There.
You’re fabulous.
The end.
Cheering for you!!!
When I was a freshman in high school, one of the teachers at my school wont he lottery. And I don’t mean a couple hundred. We are talking 9 figures. 12ish years later, he is still teaching (I think. He was still teaching through the rest of my years there and for at least awhile after I graduated.) And is actually happier in it. Something about being able to do it for the love of it, and not having to worried teachers don’t make near enough. He was able to focus on making a difference in lives and keeping himself busy. He did have the nicest car in the parking lot though. ;)
Although there were plenty of healthy meals and reminders to brush teeth and all that other “good mother” stuff, it’s the sugar fueled, pajama wearing trips to the drive in that I remember the most. Being a good mother has less to do with knowing what flax seed is and more to do with figuring out that a little sugar never killed anyone (unless they were a diabetic but you get my point).
Wow. Just wow. I am in awe of you Brittany and everything you do. Can’t wait to hear what is next for you!
I’m amazed by you. Wish I could have seen you last week but obviously you are busy with other stuff. ;) And that is SO awesome. xo
The laundry and dishes can wait. We want more Brittany. Oh, and thanks for sharing the annoying FB updates list. Totally agreed.