Gosh this makes me all giggling and tingly and totally missing first kisses… sorry Andy.
I want to build a time machine to go back in time to relive them all.
Tell me about your very first kiss.
I was in 3rd grade and invited the birthday party of the boy who lived next door. I was one of the only girls there, and we were all in his basement playing hide and seek, and I was so super nervous because my biggest crush ever, blonde flat-top Justin (the kid always had a flat top haircut with lighting bolts shaved in the sides. God he was the coolest), was hiding behind a pile of pool chemical boxes with me, so I was all giggly and looked super adorable in my new blue dress and white tights.
I had to pee really bad, but the hell I was going to give up my chance to be thisclose to him, plus getting in and out of my tights was a bitch and I totally needed adult help, so I held it. And held it. After, like, 5 minutes of hiding, we got bored and The Bangles as my witness, Justin leaned over and quickly kissed me on the lips. No words were exchanged, and it was as quick as a bee sting.
But, in all my excitement, I completely forgot to concentrate on holding my bladder, and I peed right there on the cement next to blonde flat-top Justin.
I didn’t even give Justin a chance to notice or scream out in disgust. I ran upstairs, grabbed my coat and ran all the way home crying in wet tights. My legs were chapped and I waddled around bowlegged for a fucking week. But I never forgot my first kiss.