Fifty Shades Darker…and I have no idea why I’m still reading this either.

by Brittany on March 23, 2012

in Fifty Shades of Grey, I Read Books, lowercase b, Smut Books

This contains spoilers. Lots of them.

Alright, this is going to be quick, because it turns out it’s really easy to write a book review for a book that’s, like, 70% humping.

Yesterday, I talked about Fifty Shades of Grey Book 1, and today, I will tackle book 2, because they are super fast reads, and I don’t have a lot going on right now.

So, in terms of the sex, Fifty Shades Darker is less freaky and more lovey, nobody is using the word vagina yet, and everybody is always eating. In reality, this is my utopia, but in terms of fantasy… it’s hard to wrap my head around people who use old people words for genitals.  Even a cooter would be a welcome change up.

Christian has told Ana he loves her, and Ana is basically the most annoying person on the planet. As per usual.

Christian is the one who is supposed to have all these issues, but, I’ll be honest, I’d take a ball gag to the mouth before I’d sit and listen to Ana have constant freak outs about my ex-old lady lover, my suck ass childhood, and also every other thing ever OMG SHE IS FIFTY SHADES OF INSECURE, NAGGY AND STABBY.

What’s that Christian? You spank women who look like your dead drug addict birth mother and then have sex with them? Sounds awesome, let’s get away from this crazy pants lip biter over here, she’s weirding me out.

That’s how you know a character is flawed, everyone is more appealing to hang out with than her, even the sadist.

On the plus side, this book had a plot, which was a nice change up, but I’m still having trouble picturing characters in my head.  I’ve decided Christian is the guy who played the Winklevoss twins in The Social Network, Taylor is Chuy from Chelsea Lately, and Mrs. Jones is Helen Mirren.

Also, I know this series started as Twilight fan fiction, which is probably why Anastasia is so damn irritating, but I have to say, it also bugs me that she gave Christian the last name Grey, like Mr. Grey from on of my favorite movies ever, Secretary, which features a spanky/submissive plot line similar to this. So,is there nothing original about this series?

It makes me want to write a book about adults who are selected by lottery to go into this giant arena and kill eachother, but also have lots of sex. I think I’m going to name the main characters Juno Macguff and Ron Burgundy.

On to book 3.

 

{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }

Tawny March 23, 2012 at 9:55 am

Please google Ellen Page gushy scene from the movie Super.

You will never look at her the same way AGAIN!

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Kir March 23, 2012 at 9:58 am

soooo, should I read these books or not??? LOL

I have heard so much about them, but I’ll be honest, I’d really rather HAVE sex lately than read about everyone else having it.

does that mean I’m selfish ?

TGIF

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Kristie March 23, 2012 at 9:59 am

In the porn version of this, I’ve already cast Zoe Deschanel. It would make me hate Ana less.
Also, the whole “prefer the guy who spanks/humps women who look like the crackwhore to the lip biting weirdo” made me laugh out loud and also VERY HAPPY. I thought the same thing. I was also weirdly turned on that he finally FINALLY put something in her butt, even though I wouldn’t be personally into it.

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Stephanie May 8, 2012 at 3:39 pm

That’s so funny, I also pictured Zoey Deschanel while I was reading and it instantly made Ana way less annoying.

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Jenee March 23, 2012 at 10:07 am

I swear, I thought I was the only person who had ever seen the movie Secretary. It was an interesting little find on a sleepless night.

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stacey@havoc&mayhem March 23, 2012 at 12:04 pm

A bunch of adults are selected to go into a stadium & kill each other but have lots of sex as well… hmmmm…
you know…I could swear that’s been done already. I’m tying to recall… it was a movie… not Thunderdome or the Running Man or Escape from New York…

damn there have been too many dystopian movies in my past. And Google is giving me too many options to sort through

This is going to drive me nuts all day trying to think of it.

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Leslie March 24, 2012 at 1:01 pm

Eyes Wide Shut?

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Jennifer March 23, 2012 at 1:38 pm

The Winklevoss twins freaked me out.

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Marinka March 24, 2012 at 12:28 pm

I can’t wait to go for my pap smear this year and ask the doctor to look at my sex.

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Liz March 27, 2012 at 12:33 pm

I have never laughed so hard in my office than I did just now after reading your comment. Now I can’t wait for my gyno appointment either.

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Shmiff March 31, 2012 at 4:00 am

Freakin hilarious!!! I just about peed myself.

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Jackie Young April 16, 2012 at 3:11 pm

OMG I’m crying I’m laughing so hard at that comment!

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Donna December 25, 2012 at 11:03 am

Thank you for helping me spit my coffee out laughing while
stuck here at work on Christmas day!! TOO funny.

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Isa March 27, 2012 at 10:26 am

I heard Universal got the rights to make the books into movies.

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Tracy March 27, 2012 at 11:20 am

Thank you for influencing me to read these books. I am disgusted with myself, and also cannot stop. My husband thinks I’m a freak, and I can’t let anyone look at my Kindle.

But I love it. Seriously.

In my head, James Franco is Christian, and that annoying little brunette from Community is Ana. I have the movies totally cast. It’s disturbing.

And again – I love it. Lady-porn is doing wonders for my sexlife. :)

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Angela June 7, 2012 at 1:09 pm

I am with you on this one, sure the books are like 70% porn, but didn’t you hear all the fuss before you picked them up and read them, people? Duh. Its fan fiction, based off twilight, Super wealthy, good looking, charming guy. With a bimbo dark hair, blue eyed light skin girl. If you didn’t like twilight, probably don’t read 50. That simple. The books are amazing, I haven’t been able to put them down. I’m sort of in my own little 50 shades life in real life, only not as intense and he doesn’t buy me all the shit Christian does for Ana.
Listen, if your married and not having sex, (Im not either of those) but still, if you can’t get horny, read these books, you’ll be hot and bothered by chapter 3-4 ish of the first book. I hate how people go on sites like this to nag and bitch about them………Go to 50ShadesHater.com or something for that drama non-sense.

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GrandeMocha April 1, 2012 at 12:58 pm

I was in Target yesterday and I heard a lady discussing Fifty Shades of Grey with her mom and she had a little kid in her cart. She was disappointed Target didn’t have the books.

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SABRINA August 15, 2012 at 6:38 pm

that’s 50 shades of fucked up right there….

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Brooke April 18, 2012 at 11:45 am

I loved your review, thank you. I just finished the first book, bated it, and was trying to figure out why anyone would read the subsequent two books. (Hey, maybe Ana stopped being so damn annoying, or maybe the books developed a theme other than erotic Twilight?) But apparently they still suck and I’m not the only one who Bates them! Yay.

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Tina April 18, 2012 at 2:51 pm

I am about 200 pgs into the book, alittle graphic:) Saw the spoiler alert put read this blog anyway! Wish I didn’t read about the subs looking like the dead mom yet.. Yes Ana is getting annoying, told myself it was her age and yes she need to stop nagging. I picture Christian look like David Beckham…yumm, Maybe Ana would look like Fiona Apple. Can’t wait to get home and finish the book!

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Scarletledder April 18, 2012 at 8:00 pm

James McAvoy with those piercing blue eyes would be lovely as Christian. He can melt you with a look but turn the a**hole up to 11+ as needed (Becoming Jane). Annoying Ana. Hmmm. Carey Mulligan has a real air of innocence about her. When I was reading the book, I was honestly picturing someone like Anne Hathaway, but she’s too smart and a little too old for the role. Also? “Secretary” rocked. The Spader owned that role and Maggie was so good in it. Ok. Critique time. It’s highly unusual in the BDSM lifestyle for a bottom (submissive) to become a full on hardcore top (Dominant). It’s like an uber-beta becoming super-alpha, very unlikely. I get that Christian was younger when he entered a D/s relationship with his mothers friend, but the relationship was for 6 long years and it was his formative sexual experience. The author should have done her homework more on the BDSM lifestyle. I’m glad I didn’t have to pay to read this book. There are much better authors out there doing Domestic Discipline, BDSM, D/s relationships like Lainey Reese (Table for Three), Cherise Sinclair (The Dom’s Dungeon) and Sophie Oak (Small Town Siren) Alta Hensley (Traditional Love). Those authors have monogamous happily ever afters and aren’t hardcore BDSM, but probably harder than the garden variety erotica/romantica book.

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angela vostrejs April 22, 2012 at 1:41 am

Does anyone think that Bradley Cooper would make a good Christain?…maybe with Ryan Goslings body? Hmm. I wonder.

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Maki July 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm

Bradley Cooper was my Christian. Once he popped in there I couldn’t get it out of my head. I just picture him the way he was in “Limitless” and its perfect. My Ana was Odette Yustman. If you don’t know her face she’s the girl from Cloverfield and The Unborn. Her look just plays all the parts right in my head. Also, Kate was Emma Stone. Hehe.

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Elena Garcia April 25, 2012 at 8:15 pm

i end the first and i love it… is intense, sexy, funny and sad… i like the way Ana talk with and Christian is lovely and freaky but a gentleman, he is all we need, hard, intense and tender… fir Christian I have some names: Simon Baker, Ryan Gosling, Chris Evans or Eric Winter… for Ana I like Scarlett Johansson or Rachel McAdams…

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Apoorva May 16, 2012 at 1:28 am

OMG I LOVE CHRIS EVANS!!! I’m not reading the second book. I’m kinda over it.

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Jennifer April 26, 2012 at 11:43 am

I am glad I found this. I actually just finished the first book- which I only read because everyone is all gaga about how wonderful it is- and I HATE IT. I thought I was the only one. I think the actual writing is terrible.. Ana’s stupid inner goddess pisses me off to no end… and even though the first book supposedly leaves you wanting more, I pretty much decided I just didn’t care how it all plays out. And I can thank you and this review for saving me from subjecting myself to any more of it! Seriously. I am usually the person that can’t put a book down until I have finished, but I have spend almost two weeks on the first book because I kept having to remind myself to pick it up and finish. It was like a chore.

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Pandi April 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Amen sister. I read it because thats all i heard about. “Ooooh, have you read it yet? Who will they cast?” So, i had to check it out. Yes, in the beginning i felt like i was watching a episode of Gossip Girl and it was mindless entertainment.
But, as soon as Christian showed up at the club all stalker like i concluded he was a douche. I dont care how hot he is written..he sucks. Ana is a moron and her stupid lip biting is annoying. Their first sex scene was a cheap dirty porn mag. Maybe i had my hopes up? I dont know, but i wont be reading about them anymore.

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LT June 5, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Yay! I’m so happy to find people I agree with. All my friends love this book but I find the writing so bad and Ana so annoying. I hate the quips from her subconscious/inner goddess. Also, did anyone else feel like the author overused the words “holy crap” or “holy shit”? It seriously felt like that statement was written every other paragraph.

I’m so glad I didn’t pay for this book. 50 Shades of Crap.

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SK June 11, 2012 at 7:04 pm

omg, amen!!! I just finished the first book and I’m only interested in why this guy is as jacked up as he is … that’s it. To be honest, I found this site hoping to find serious spoilers on his childhood to get out of reading on. Ugh, that first book was so poorly written that I formed a little drinking game just to make the review process more palatable – a sip of wine every time one of the following happens: (1) some chick looks at christian from, “beneathe her lashes”, (2) she bites her damn lip, (3) he runs his hand thru his hair, (4) the phrase, “impressive length” appears, or (5) I rolled my own eyes at the cheesy sex scenes and/or her ridiculous insecurity. I assure you, I wasn’t able to read for long. *hiccup*

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cia-lu October 5, 2012 at 5:48 pm

and ‘he cocked his head to the right/left’ appeared there quite a lot of times.
btw, the inner goddess was annoying the hell out of me.

Maki July 2, 2012 at 9:40 pm

I’m not gonna lie, it got that way for me too. I didn’t hate the book, but after awhile I came to the conclusion that I don’t really care enough to read the next two books, and it took me forever to finish it because I picked up A Song of Ice and Fire around the same time and THAT I just could not keep my hands off of. 50 Shades was fun for awhile but the novelty faded less than halfway through for me >_<

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Pandi April 27, 2012 at 8:30 pm

I am so relieved to read your post, because you pegged my thoughts exactly. About 200 pages into the book I wanted to heave both of them over the balcony of the palatial Seattle high rise. If Ana bit her lip one more time, discussed her “inner goddess” or Christian put his lips in a tight line I was going to barf. I laughed out loud at “come for me baby!” and continued to read for the comedic factor. Ugh, you are right…the most annoying person at the planet!

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Julie April 29, 2012 at 11:13 pm

I loved book #1. I mean ok, was Ana and her lip-biting annoying? YES. If she looked down at her hands again, I would scream! And what about those hefty words that kept showing up from time to time – I had no idea what they meant!?! (Can you say, “I NEED A THESAURUS!!”) But over all it has kept me wanting to know more! I just orderd book 2 and 3 and am excited to see the film!

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Dani May 8, 2012 at 9:22 am

OMG I felt the same way reading the book. I had to stop several times and ask my husband what one of the words meant. I told him it is a shame that you need to keep a dictionary with me when I read the book. I like the book and just started on book 2. Yes Ana is annoying as hell.

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Jen May 9, 2012 at 1:48 pm

You are absolutely hysterical & spot on!

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vanessa May 11, 2012 at 3:35 pm

I cannot explain why I can’t stop reading this… I should be investing my time in quality junk food reading, like Jackie Collins!

This bland book about s&m brought out the ultimate masochist in me. Well played, twi-mom, well played.

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Wil May 21, 2012 at 4:16 am

Oh good lord. I am in the middle of book 1 and I feel like I’m the one being tortured. How many more times can I endure whole pages springled liberaly with ‘holy cow!’ ‘Holy shit!’ ‘holy fuck!” and ‘holy crap’? My brain is aching! Who thinks ‘HOLY COW’ when they are having sex?? No, seriously? I’m reading it on iBook and I searched the work ‘holy’ and 160 matches were found!! And the inner goddes clown?? I hate her so much I want to pull her hair! And the short sentences?? So. Many. Of. Them. Made my eyes hurt! And how she calls him Mr. Something all the time? Mr. Mysterious. Mr. Confusing. Mr. Contol-Freak. Such a lazy writer! And who EDITED this shit? How this became a besteller is so confusing and mysterious to Mr. Me, even my hair hurts when I cringe at the prose.

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Wil May 21, 2012 at 4:23 am

And who thinks “oh my….” all the time???? I bet this E.L.James is a 75 year old British granny with blue teeth and a receding chin, who takes “just a cloud” of milk in her tea while scribbling about the palatial high-rise in Seattle. Queen Elizabeth, is it you again??

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Philly May 21, 2012 at 9:16 am

Holy fuck – Ana is annoying! By the end of the first book I thought “Ana, you are such a nagging, insecure twit” And all these comments – LMAO! Glad I didn’t have to pay for the book and I will not be reading the remaining 2.

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Jacqui May 21, 2012 at 4:08 pm

This book was terrible!! I literally had to force myself to read the 300+ pages I had read, and it took me weeks. I dreaded reading it, usually I will read a book in a day or two; i finally skipped to the end just so I can donate it to the library. I hate the characters, except for Kate ( at least she has a brain and tells people like it us). Worse book I have read, don’t care about the other books. I am not into BDSM, and did not find anything sexy about this book!! If anything it was a turn off.

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Alexandr May 21, 2012 at 9:42 pm

You’re hilarious … Completely agree with ” I rather hang out the sadist than the lip bitter insecure bitch” ha!

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Michelle R. June 4, 2012 at 4:18 am

I’m so sick of reading the word “murmurs”!

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Britt June 4, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Love the “mr me” comment and absolutely hate the book. Every time Ana bit her freakig lip I pictured twilight girl, which really pussed me off. Also, what the hell type of jeans is she wearing if she can wear Grey’s boxers under them? I am going to pretend that it all ends with the breakup in book 1 so I don’t feel obligated to read 2 and 3.

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LT June 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

So many things in this book got repetitive and annoying:

- Ana not eating and being scolded by Christian
- The lip biting
- Christian and his damn ripped jeans (“oh my… he’s so hot!”)
- Ana’s jealousy over Mrs. Robinson. Get over it, bitch!
- “Holy crap/cow/shit” on every other page
- The emails. No one changes the subject of their email every time they hit reply in one chain – no one.

I was happy when Ana freaked out and left at the end. I don’t care how hot and rich Christian is, he was a douche. I’d rather assume they stay broken up then read on further.

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Amanda June 21, 2012 at 7:13 pm

I loved the book. Read it in 4 days (and I have 10 months old twin girl and they are unstoppable).
Ana is supposed to be annoying! You guys have to remember that this is a fanfiction based on Twilight. Ana is Bella and Bella is the most annoying bitch I’ve ever read about. She is childish, insecure, is always biting her lip, and although she KNEW Edward was dangerous, she just couldn’t get away from him (Icarus, Moth, Lamb, whatever)
Now Christian is a totally interesting character and he’s the one I absolutely LOVE reading about! Just like I would KILL for Stephenie to finish Midnight Sun!!! I loved Edward’s POV!!!
I hate when Ana isn’t with Christian, thank goodness he’s such a stalker (like Edward)
When I read it I imagine it’s either Justin Hartley or Tom Welling (Smallville fan- guilty)
Ana…I never put too much thought into Ana, since I hate her I’ll imagine her as Kirsten Stewart since she’s the most dull, cross-eyed, open-mouthed bitch I’ve ever had the displeasure of watching and her acting skills are so awful I feel like she one has one expression for every emotion she needs to play out. That way I can continue to dislike Ana without feeling guilty.

I hate her inner goddess, it reminds me of Naruto ( Yeah I read all kinds of stuff) and Sakura’s inner-Sakura (good this Kishimoto decided to end that when she grew up!) It’s just another sign of her being immature. Who the fuck discusses with imaginary people inside their heads?? Nutcase.

Someone mentioned the email subjects changing all the time. I only noticed after like the 20th email…I went back to check it and they had like a 1 minute difference from one email to the other and had time to change the subject, write the email AND signature.

I could go on and on about all the things that I hated, but I won’t because although it’s nowhere near Stephenie M. (she’s not that great either) it’s still a good read. It does spice your sex life and I have recommended it to all of my friends.

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Maki July 2, 2012 at 9:46 pm

I thought of Sakura every time I read the inner goddess parts too lol. It actually made it more bearable for me because Ana would go all chibi and evil looking like Sakura did XD I think I’m the only one who thought that was amusing.

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Felicity June 18, 2012 at 3:41 am

This was such a hilarious post. I just got through book 1 and decided I would not forfeit the $15 to read the other two books… Sorry, but Ana is way fucking annoying and Christian behaves like an abusive boyfriend. Newsflash: you can be into S & M and not be a psycho/stalker in real life. Sex scenes were mediocre.

Anyway, thanks for posting! Your voice in this post was really clear and entertaining.

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Cass_andra June 18, 2012 at 8:54 am

Have successfully completed book one..oh I “flushed” a few times at the thought of this Mr Control freak touching my “sex”….but seriously it did make me want to do two things, 1) smack the crap out of this guy 2) run Ana over with her Audi!! I loved the book but found both the main characters hard to picture….shall read on about Ana’ “sex”… And wonder if she will actually grow up a little!!!

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Hannah June 19, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Every time she mentioned her inner goddess I pictured the cartoon Lizzie McGuire character. And I got extremely tired of the word murmurs, mainly because it was never used in correct context. If someone murmurs something does that not make you think they are whispering or talking under their breath?? I’m just not sure how I feel about the book itself. I can’t get the twilight girl taking her hand and putting her hair behind her ear, looking down, and biting her lip out of my head. Ugh. But if I were to cast Christian Grey I’d go with Alexander Skarsgard. His character on True Blood reminds me of this.

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Lilly June 21, 2012 at 1:20 am

THANK YOU!! I love this post! I just finished reading, what I like to call “50 Shades of Bullshit”! I’m sure I’m not the first to think of that title, but unlike EL James, I admit it’s not original. There is so much SERIOUS S&M literature to choose from that could have opened up the conversation of women’s sexual desires (not this, you pissed me off so I must hit you nonsense).We have BDSM authors like Anne Rice and Jacqueline Carey, but alas, we choose to obsess over glorified fan-fiction. Fan-fiction for some impressionable naive girl to read and dream of marrying someone “just like Christian Grey”, who has the credentials for being the perfect abusive asshole (thank you EL James and Stephenie Meyer for turning a typical abuser into fucking prince charming. You’ve done the female sex proud). The book is not well written, and it’s certainly not original. Down to the 2D characters, and the fact that, WOW, his mom is a crack whore… “Mad Men”, much?. You know I would never have guessed that, seeing he uses the term “Laters, baby”, and apparently has nothing better to do beside sit on his laptop and e-mail “Miss Steele”, while make phone calls about suspicious packages being dropped off in the middle east. And this all justifies why he’s into S&M? I feel that stories like this should just stay fan-fiction. It’s nice to pass around friends for fun, or even read online when facebook is getting old, but the hype this book is getting, along with talk of a movie coming out, shows the book is getting way more attention then it deserves.

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Christie June 21, 2012 at 2:06 pm

I picture Amanda Seyfried as a brunette as Anna. And either Alexander Skarsgard or Ian Somerhalder (who is interested in the role) as Christian.

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Amanda June 22, 2012 at 3:39 am

I actually liked the inner goddess. I don’t see why everyone hates Ana. I can totally relate to her innocence. I really hope Amanda Seyfreid plays the role of Ana in the movie. Definately do not want to see Kristen Stewart.

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Jennifer June 24, 2012 at 10:52 pm

these comments are hilarious. I just started reading the first book and it’s so frustratingly irritating. I know so many people say they can’t put it down, but as someone else said, I feel like it’s a bit of a chore. but it’s so irritating that I wanted to see what happens in future books b/c I have no intention of reading them. The things that bother me most: 1. inner goddess/subconscious foot-stamping. 2. her “sex” (really??) 3. Mr. whatever and how he always calls her Ms. Steele and they go back and forth with that CONSTANTLY 4. the lip-biting 5. what a dick he is and how annoying she is 6. her inability to read into anything–I am 1/3 of the way into the first one and I can already see where the food thing comes from 7. the fact that she has mentioned her medulla oblongata at least 3 times so far. this is some of the worst writing I’ve ever read. I get that it started as Twi-fiction, so I can even overlook the completely parallel stories, but it’s a shame that the writing is just as bad, if not worse. And obviously I’ll see the movie. Love the idea of Alexander Skaarsgard. Hate the idea of Kristen Stewart. She’s intolerable. They need to go with someone very young and preferably unknown.

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Angela Adams July 1, 2012 at 8:06 pm

I am SO happy I am NOT the only person who isn’t nut swinging off these damn books. I am half way through Fifty Shades Darker and this is my opinion thus far:

First of all, this series is supposed to be based during present time, in the united states, and with 20somethings…..I don’t know about any of you, but I don’t speak like a grandmother from the late 1930′s. And what is Ana’s obsession with tea?! I understand the author is from the UK but damn, she should have done more research on what young people in America do and say.

I agree with everyone else about the lip biting shit, inner goddess with her non stop cartwheels, the emails, the constant use of “Mr. LASTNAME and Mrs. LASTNAME”

I realllllllly really wanted to like this book series. I did. ALLLLL my friends have read or are reading it and they all like it. I do however, enjoy the dark history of Christian. Other than that, the sex parts honestly bore me, I am not into whips & chains and if any man spoke to me or hit me the way he does, I don’t care how much money they have, I would be GONE.

As for how I picture the characters, I see Christian Bale and the chick who played Jessica from Twilight. I don’t know why but I do. Someone else posted about Chris Evans. That would be a good choice for the movie.

And one last thing. If I have to read about twitchy palms one more time, I am going to off myself. Ugh.

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Maki July 2, 2012 at 10:03 pm

So I just want to throw my mental casting out there. Bradley Cooper and Odette Yustman (Cloverfield, The Unborn) as the two leads. Emma Stone as Katherine. Ramon Rodriguez as Jose. Possibly Christine Baranski (she’s in everything look her up you’ll know the face) as Mrs. Whats-her-face who used to be Christian’s dominant. Those were the only characters with definable faces in my head lol.

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Desire flame July 4, 2012 at 3:13 am

In all honesty, I read Twilight and that was enough for me! And saame goes for 50!!

When you’ve read 9 half weeks, watched secretary and the Story of ‘O’.
These are all very sickly sweet!!

Really, Ana should of been the Gray Character!!!!
Ooh maybe there is a fan fiction of 50 but the tables have turned!!
As for the movie hmmmm Ana would be Anne hathaway
And Christian well if he’d have copper tones maybe Chris Hemsworth!
;)

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Veronica July 5, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Did anyone else picture the “American Psycho” version of Christian Bale as Christian Grey? xD
I also pictured Zoey Deschannel as Ana (definitely made her less annoying) *LOL*

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Tizzle July 6, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I just asked myself the same thing. Why am I still reading this book? I feel like I’m wasting my brain cells. I googled “50 shades darker summary” and found myself here.

I just need to know what happened in the end and move on with my life.

Sorry I sound so sour. Lol.

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Donna July 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Lol, agreed on that one!

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cia-lu October 5, 2012 at 6:08 pm

that’s exactly the same reason why i’m here. lol. was looking for the summary of the book2 and 3. don’t wanna waste my time reading that crap.

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Donna July 10, 2012 at 7:30 pm

Your opinion about Ana is precisely what goes through my head. For an “adult” she is immature and you nailed it naggy! I have decided not to continue the series, it just isn’t worth trying to drag myself through another one lol.

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Sue Ann July 13, 2012 at 12:13 pm

Your book review sucks! “Cooter” really?!?! The book is great and you SUCK!

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SK July 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

yikes. this angry message supports my contention that only people with boring or non-existent sex lives actually enjoy this awful book. watch porn, get laid, relax.

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Amanda July 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Not true. I enjoy the books and I have sex…This only shows that immature people should not be allowed to socialize.

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Petra July 19, 2012 at 7:07 am

When I first read about 50 shades on the US bestseller lists, I was intrigued. I am writing from Germany, you see, and an explicit book about sex – and BDSM, at that! – in the mainstream charts is quite extraordinary. So I decided to jump into the middle of it and read 50 shades darker, which I find quite disappointing and annoying. I would have thrown Annoying Ana out my door long time ago (if I was a man… and a dom, at that), and Christian is about as unbelievable a dom as I have ever met (and yes, I have met a few). What is most sickening, though, is this whole “love heals all” stickiness, and the feeling that a good opportunity to present BDSM as a deviant, but not “sick” alternative lifestyle has been wasted.

Still, I now bought the first book in the series, in order to have a more complete picture – and since it’s just now hitting the German market in the translated version.

Petra

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eleanor October 4, 2012 at 8:35 am

Loved your post -thank-you. When I started reading it I hated it -my friend lent it to me and I was curious but found the writing unbearable – the amount of times she repeats the same phrases is ridiculous. The reason she says holy crap and holy shit all the time is that she is British, as I am but she’s trying to write like an American and its frankly embarrassing. British people never say this-perhaps she thought this was the deal breaker.
Having said all this I’m addicted..which is even more irritating than the book itself

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JoAnn October 16, 2012 at 4:18 am

I find it so crazy that someone else is imagining Christian as one of the Winklvi from Social Network, everyone thinks I’m crazy but that’s exactly what I pick up on. Also the dirty things he says, said in their voice, is working for me ;)

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laney March 9, 2013 at 1:37 pm

I’m sorry but I’ve read steamier harlequin romance books. I’m not wasting my money on either of the last two books.

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Doreen March 26, 2013 at 9:09 pm

I just started reading the first book. I never knew it was a piece of twilight fan fiction but the whole time I was reading I was wondering why it was so similar to twilight!! I wanted to stop reading the writing was horrible but I just could not stop! But honestly the book just freaked me out and I didn’t want to keep reading so I googled the summaries and ended up here. I’m so glad I did that because the other two books sound even worse. The plot is just over the top and too fake. I only wanted to know why christian is so mysterious. Can someone explain the whole deal about food? I also pictured an anne Hathaway kind of girl as ana, someone with curly frizzy hair. It’s like one of those books that are so ridiculous that you keep reading just to see how bad it’ll get! I just don’t understand how sexy biting your lip can be to someone else…..

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