Ok, so here is the thing.
I know it’s super fun to take pictures of yourself holding grainy handwritten statements about how un-lazy and rad you think you are, and then post them to Facebook, but there is something that is seriously starting to bug the hell out of me.
I understand Occupy Wall Street is often referred to as the 99% Movement, and it’s totally fine if you don’t agree with it.
You don’t have to. There are oodles of movements I don’t agree with on a daily basis.
(A petition to get rid of James Spader on the office? Have these people never seen Secretary!?)
But the 99% refers to the actual mathematical fact that 1% of the population holds the wealth, and the rest of us (100% – 1% = 99%), do not.
I know, I want to be infinity-rich, tooooo!
But, until that happens, you can be in the percent of lots of things!
Like the 25% of American Adults who have genital herpes, or the 70% of us who think Javier Bardem and Denny from Grey’s Anatomy are the same exact person.
But just know, that if you are reading this anywhere but on a golden toilet, wearing a tuxedo, in your private plane flown by the Aristocats, you’re in the 99%.
Here, I made a sign for Facebook to help you remember…
Shouldn’t everything end with the word boobies?
so funny. and true. boobies
Perfect. Boobies.
” or the 70% of us who think Javier Bardem and Denny from Grey’s Anatomy are the same exact person.”
Thanks, my screen is now covered in latte spewage!
The picture is genius….
Boobies!
Let’s stop insulting Jeffrey Dean Morgan please. JDM is waaaaayyy hotter than Javier Bardem. Especially when he puts on that Irish accent from P.S. I Love You.
Yes. I watch that movie. Often.
Stop freaking JUDGING me!
I can’t watch it because I know it will be sad!
Plus I haven’t watched a Hillary Swank movie since The Next Karate Kid.
I’m not gonna lie here, I cried buckets BUCKETS the first 10 or so times I watched it. After that I became immune to it and was able to focus on other things. Like the fact that Hilary Swank somehow managed to suck the hotness out of both Harry Connick, Jr. AND Gerard Butler. Scary.
Or, if you have the DVD, you can do like I do and just select the scene where they are in the pub, skip the boat scene, go to the scene where they have dinner in the house, and… and…spend the next 7 minutes totally eye-fucking William Gallagher as played by JDM. That accent, that tush, and OMG! let us not forget that face grab/kiss combo…*dead from lust*
*back from the dead to say*
P.S. BOOBIES!!!!
I agree JDM is meltingly hot while Javier is only at a simmer..the eyes and smile make the difference for me…oh yeah boobies.
Javier does absolutely nothing for me. JDM on the other hand … whoa.
It’s that gravelly voice. And the little smirk. And that sparkle in his eye that says he would do naughty, naughty things to you.
this just might be my favorite 99% sign EVER. just sayin’
It’s funny cuz it’s true.
Also, I will now be asking my hubby to do things with a sign. Boobies.
I think if you ask hubby to do things with a sign, and sign it boobies AND he can see cleavage… it ought to be more effective than just talking. I might have to test this theory.
That or he’ll just stare at the boobies and not read the sign at all.
I’m betting that nothing gets read. He’ll spot the boobies first and that will be it. On the upside, you may end up getting a LOT more action.
I think the key step is writing the information ON your boobies.
The only things that should end with boobies are pictures of YOUR boobies… cause holy eff balls… your boobies are ridiculous. I mean, in a bra. Unleashed could be a different story… a story which only you and Andy and your gyno could corroberate.
And everyone on Spring Break in Cancun, 2002.
For me it’s Mardi Gras 2004. Those hurricane’s at Pat O’Briens should come with a warning label.
Seriously- how do your boobies look so good still after 3 kids? Jealous.
I had to laugh out loud…even at the risk of WAKING MY CHILDREN!
No judgement…P.S. I love you is an awesome movie…the only thing wrong with it is that it made Harry connick jr seem a little creepy!
Brittany, I feel that you should invest in a cb radio just so “boobies” can be your sign off.
Over and out…boobies.
I have been BEGGING for a police scanner for years, but a CB Radio seems like the way funner purchase!
Some places don’t need an actual scanner anymore. check out the live audio on http://www.radioreference.com/. I can listen to the police scanner for my small town anytime I want. It’s great for when the cops show up the neighbors and you want to spy without going to stand in your yard.
this is amazing! i’m pinning it for the world to see. some people need something that speaks directly to them and “boobies” will certainly do that. and james spader removed from office? that’s the most disgraceful thing i’ve heard!
Thank you!
And seriously man, James Spader should star in every tv show currently airing on any network. Period.
Secretary is the most effed up movie ever.
Boobies.
i started following you a month or so ago, and i swear you are my hero. i love reading your blog. thank you for giving it to “them” straight.
boobies. :)
Totally agree.
My percentage is 18%.
This is the percentage of American women who would like to remain childless for their lifetime.
My number 23 reason for it is keeping my boobies.
-K
I think that Javier Bardem stat is way too low.
True story. I said the word ‘boobies’ to my gynecologist during a prenatal appointment and my husband told me I needed to use a more mature word.
I told him he just didn’t understand … boobies.
Also, you have really nice handwriting.
I was totally against everything you were saying, until I saw the boobies.
It is the best word in the English vocabulary and I am legally bound to follow anyone else who thinks so. Even if spiked koo-aid is involved.
The world starts and ends with Boobies..
Well now I’m scared that I have dormant herpes. Thanks.
Boobies.
I thought that they were the same person until just now….whoops!!!
I’m totally part of that 70%. And the 18% listed in the comments. Math is fun! And so are boobies.
Seriously– you should start a movement. I hope you post that picture on FB.
Cheers!
SO true!
Posting a picture of yourself holding a handwritten sign is basically saying “I am the 99%, but I am too lazy to show up at an actual protest or write my Congressman or do anything, you know, effective.”
I am in the 99%… of people who think you are seriously f*cking awesome (the other 1% is televangelists and people without computers).
and now my 4 year old is running around the house shouting “Boobies!!”
Oh my goodness. The Javier Bardem/Jeffrey Dean Morgan thing made me seriously laugh out loud. I mean, I always thought they were identical, but I thought I was alone. I’m so glad to know I’m in the majority. Also, Boobies.
Here’s something else figured out mathematically… 87% of the income tax collected is paid by those making over $100,000 per year.
Boobies.
Amy
My last post – I am… Penn State.
I loved Secretary……………………………………….Boobies (.) (.) (nips are a little low ..and small)
Rachel….Jeffrey Dean Morgan…please…no-really…PLEASE …he makes me tingleeeeeee…
I am a bandwagon-jumper-oner, so…
Boobies
Excellent Post. Thanks for great perspective. Yes, boobies make all things better. I’m a fan.
Boobies
THANK YOU. Nobody was listening to the fact that it’s f*cking math. It’s not up for debate.
also, your boobies look hot, so you win even harder. And Secretary was probably the most erotic movie I ever watched in college.
*posted from a location that is basically exact opposite of a golden toilet seat, in my Stewie pajamas and without a bra*
You lost me at basic math.
Then brought me back at boobies.
It’s all I need, really.
F*ing brilliant!
Boobies :)
hey I think I know which ridiculous picture you are talking about, and it sucks.
Here is an awesome article written in response to it.
http://persephonemagazine.com/2011/10/dont-even-get-me-started-mythical-bootstraps-college-student
oh, and… Boobies!
It’s posts like this that really make me wonder….How are we not best friends??? I even live in Ohio and enjoy alcohol made with skittles. And boobies!
Let’s do it!
I love it! And yes everything should end with the word boobies.
Thanks for making me giggle.
BOOBIES!
I found out on Monday that Javier Bardem and Denny were not the same person, and it freaked me right the hell out!!! How are they not even like, related?!