It’s Saturday, March 24th, 1984 in Shermer High School.

Who would be in your breakfast club?

The brain…James Franco.
Is he high or just super smart. I don’t know. I can’t decide. Puff, puff, pass, man.

 

The athlete…Ryan Reynolds.
Shut the door.  I just need, like, five minutes.

 

The basket case…Ke$ha.
I don’t know, maybe she’d be cute if I took her to the bathroom, gave her a whore’s bath and wiped the 4 day old Halloween paint off her face. Or, maybe not. I’m confused, why is she rebelling again, and why do I keep finding glitter in my vagina?  Christ, this shit is everywhere.

 

The princess…Anne Hathaway.
Isn’t she lovely? Let’s all say yes.  I feel like I could be friends with her, and not hate her for being super pretty and nice.

 

The criminal…Shia LaBeouf.
Yeah, I barely know who this kid is, except for the fact the he is the only reason I can get through all the lame ass robot movies Andy makes me watch.

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