When most people look for a house, they consider a number of mature, adult things. Like taxes, school districts, cancer power lines overhead, property values, etc.
I do none of that. Our first house was bought based on it’s resemblance to Lorelai Gilmore’s house.
And our current house is one that we fell in love with the second our tires it the road. It is the most perfect home, our kids love it here, and we have found absolutely no fault with it. Besides the muskrats.
Only now are we starting to feel the ramifications of not caring about those boring ass adult things I mentioned earlier. More specifically…the school district one.
At first, it didn’t matter. We had always planned on sending our kids to the same private Catholic school I attended as a child. What it sucked in overall enjoyment, it made up for in non-molestation and a stellar education, and in the long run, that’s what matters…as long as your main goal isn’t getting laid in high school, because then, my dear with your frizzy hair, big glasses and androgynous clothing tastes, you are fucked.
Does it suck coming up with tuition? Absolutely. But, we do it for the small class size, one on one attention and the security in knowing that our kids feel comfortable there.
In recent months, we’ve become increasingly stressed about school. We Catholics are a poor people, and that stereotype extends to our schools and churches, as well. And while no one is saying…well…anything, it’s become increasingly obvious there is instability and uncertainty.
And that freaks me the fuck out.
Because, remember above how we didn’t research school systems before moving, that, yes that?
That is now going to potentially bite us in the ass.
Our local school system doesn’t feel right to us. And I say this delicately, because what’s wrong for me, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong for someone else.
But for us…it’s a wrong fit.
As luck would have it, we are half a mile over from one of the best rated public school districts in the area, and we would love to just pull out and send our kids there right now. In fact, we are closer to that school than we are to our local district.
Everything about that feels awesome.
Except they don’t have open enrollment. We’ve begged, asked to pay the taxes (fuck, we’re paying tuition anyways, might as well do it to a school my kids will be in for the long haul), and offered blow jobs to the entirety of the school board, but it’s a no go.
DON’T THEY REALIZE HOW GOOD MY BLOW JOBS ARE!? THEY ARE MY MOST REQUESTED ITEM AT HOLIDAY AND WORK GATHERINGS!
Baring any huge life changes, we hate the thought of having to switch our kids around to multiple schools. I will be devastated when (if?) our current school closes. I need stability in this area of our life.
So this is why people pay attention to school districts when they buy houses.
How entirely un-fun this has become.
I have known people to use friend’s addresses in the areas zoned for better schools and to set up fake/totally illegal addresses just to get their kids in the better school…Is any of that an option for you? Good luck!
Lady, I’ve so been there. I got knocked up and moved in with the knocker, bringing my 4 year old son with me. The Knocker had a cute little house, and was going to support me, the 4 y/o and and massive belly so I could be a stay-at-home-mom. Awesome. Pack my shit, let’s go. Then the 4 year old turned 5 and it was time to start kindergarten. 3 days before school started I went to check it out and OMG. I got a tour of the school and the guide was PROUD to let me know that due to a grant, they were now able to let the kids have recess EVERY FRIDAY! Last year they didn’t have recess at all! After a myriad of other terrifying facts, I ran, sobbing, from the school. In less than a month, we found a different house not only in a different school area, but a different TOWN, totally different district, packed up and moved. My boy started Kinder 2 weeks late but that was fine with me.
We’re in a GREAT district now with awesome schools and couldn’t be happier. With the school anyway!
Unfortunately, even if you pay attention to that kind of thing, (like we did) the tide can always turn in a different direction. Like, say there are just a few a-hole teachers (out of many) in the great school, and your kid always ends up in the a-hole’s classroom. The damage that can be done by an a-hole teacher, at any given time, can negate the whole “GREAT SCHOOL DISTRICT!!!” thing.
I guess what I’m saying that in my short time of having my kids in the public school system (my kids are 10, 6, and 3) I’ve realized that school is a year to year experience. And that who is teaching them that year is more important than where they’re being taught, and how much funding the district has.
P.S. Maybe you can try to create fundraising for your kids current school? Rally parents to keep that sucker open? Your BJ skillz might come in handy….
We’re moving for some of the same reasons. Our youngest goes to private school (the 3 older kids will go to the same high school) and we hope that won’t change, but what if it does?
So we’re packing boxes, which sucks giant sweaty balls, but if I was giving advice I’d say GO NOW, before there’s an educational crisis. One crisis at a time, right? Plus, our realtor says the market is slowest in the fall, which makes now a good time to buy.
And yes, it sucks. Damn kids and their endless NEEDS.
It is at this point I would turn to the Moral Guide of 90210 and pull an Andrea Zuckerman! Time to do another family date and hope you score someone from the right zip that is all down with the wink wink nudge nudge yeah-we-all-live-in-one-3-bed-house thing.
Is it possible to get a waiver? In our state if you live in a poor performing district, you’re allowed to get a waiver to go to a better school. You know, instead of the state trying to improve the poor performing one.
Or, become a teacher! Then your kids are allowed to go to the school you teach in. Haha, just don’t offer up BJ’s at those holiday and work gatherings, it’s frowned upon. Of course, then you would have to be a teacher. Heh.
Just a note: us Catholics and our Catholic school administrators love to scare the parents into giving mo’money with the threat of closing a school. It’s like a common theme. It goes with the other things they make us feel guilty about: like number of volunteer hours and how much money you, yes YOU, raised for the jog-a-thon, oh and the mortal sin on your soul that stops you from taking communion even if your kids can so you better get to confession right this minute, Missy.
Don’t worry too much about it until the doors are locked.
~Catholic mom of four who has already BTDT with Catholic school.
We didn’t think about schools when we bought our house either. We were never going to have kids. HAHAHAHAHA!
Poor rural county =low housing costs & properly taxes & oh yeah, underfunded public schools.
And due to that rural thing, no other viable schooling options but homeschooling & I totally cannot hack homeschooling full time. So we suppliment where needed & stay involved in the PTA.
You say molestationlike its a bad thing.
Ha.
Seriously, its all about perceptive. When I was a student, its I had the opportunity to bag a hot teacher, that would have been wicked sweet!
Now that I have kids of my own, and I see teachers getting busted for sleeping with their students, I an like, “They got what they deserved!”
Where I live if you want your child to attend school in another county you may petition the board to allow the child into the county and pay the county’s cost per student which varies year to year. No big deal considering it ranges from $2000 to $4000 and private school is $10+. Is the good school district a separate county or just a different school within the same county? Sometimes you can petition your house be annexed in the other district which ends up changing your schools without having to deal with the school board.
Do you parents or some other relative live in the good school district? I would “borrow” their address and say that’s where you live, if it will help your kids get into the better schools. Hopefully the private school they’re at now though won’t shut down!
It could be worse. We were relocated because of my husbands job, and so we looked all around the area for a new house. We have guardianship of my 15 year old brother. We found a great place with a great school (he is going into his Junior year). The school is the #8 high school in California. He decided that we were “just crappy at parenting” (we have had him since he was 11) because we made him do his homework and take responsibility for his own actions. Also, we made him a slave because he had to take the garbage out, clean his room, pick up dog poop, and load and empty the dishwasher. Sooooo, He decided that he was going to go back to my mom’s instead. Sorry, just a little bitter yet. Well, at least we get to live here on the beach with no more teen angst.
It will all work out. I went to public schools (19 of them to be exact) in poor areas, and I still received my BA with an emphasis in Secondary Education and English Writing. Just instill a love of reading in them, and they will be ready for anything.
We live in DE. Worst school system ever. Everyone fights over private and charter. Thank you Jeebus I do not have kids yet.
I think your problem here is that you’re ASSuming they realize how great your BJs are, when in fact, they’ve probably suffered through many a teeth dragging bad BJ from a housewife who only gets her sexual tips from a soap opera. Like any good prostitute or drug dealer, you need to give the first one for free, no strings attached. Get them hooked and begging for more. That’s when you bring up enrollment for the kids.
Hahahaha. Excellent.
I second the person that said that even if you had moved into a good district it’s not a given that it will be that way when your kids start school. Our district closed 2 elementary schools, then the state took away the extra tax money we are paying to give to “other districts in need”. We still have to pay the taxes, mind you, but I just found out that my daughter’s kindergarten class will have 30 students and no aide or para pro. Even if we could pony up the cash for parochial school, it wouldn’t be much better. Last I heard they had high enrollment, too.
Sadly I don’t have any helpful suggestions. But I wanted to say that I saw an article like 6 months ago where a mom was facing potential jail time and big fines for borrowing someone else’s address to get her kid into a better school. Can’t remember what state it was in. Completely ridiculous and I’m pretty sure she got more of a slap on the wrist, but my point is just to be careful if you go that route. Seems they take falsifying an address (by claiming you live somewhere you don’t) is something they take pretty seriously. Good luck with the school conundrum! My sister is going through the same thing right now – I know it sucks.
I guess it means I’m lucky that I even have to ask this questions…but:
What makes a crappy school/school district? You mean like the teachers? Location? Programs? All of the above? There is only one option for my daughter (starting pre-school next month) and the school is totally bad ass. But I’m not sure if maybe I’m just oblivious to sucky schools?
Please advise.
DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THAT HOUSE YOU LOVE IT THATS CRAZY TALK. Sorry. Whew. Repeat after me: There is ALWAYS something that can be done. You’ll figure it out. Otherwise – school is overrated.
Let’s trade house. You can try Toledo Public Schools. I hear they’re AWESOME! *not*
Let’s trade houses. You can try Toledo Public Schools. I hear they’re AWESOME! *not*
See? They’re SO awesome that I post the same comment over and over again. Even the parents do well with kids in that system.
If your childs district has a failing grade under the No Child Left Behind Act, you can have them chartered out to another district. I’m not sure what it takes to get it done, but I know that it can be done.
Does your child not paricipate in the no child left behind thing? I know in my part of Ohio they do. But this only works if the other school has low academic scores. My son’s school does not have open enrollment either but if someone were to pull the no child left behind card they have to let them in. Its definitely worth checking into.
I have no advice, other than what has already been given, but I have lots of sympathy. Sorry.
well if your like us you can always hope they will rezone you cause around here that happens about every other year! My kids go to an awesome school that at first I was pissed cause it is further away than the one right down the street from me, now it is a blessing we LOVE it. They even built a middle school across the street and I was all WOOHOO, well that was until they decide we couldn’t go there that’s right we are zoned for the elementary but NOT the middle school that is DIRECTLY across the street from it!! which is just bs. I hope to get a zoning exemption for my son so that I don’t have 2 kids is 2 different schools across town from each other.
Are there no other private schools that are an option for you?
Not sure how it works in every state, but in GA you can have your neighborhood annexed to a different school district if you want (and enough of your neighbors want it). I could be wrong, it might be a county thing. Worth checking if you haven’t!
Gah! What a pain! We just closed on our first home last week ( YAY ME!..er..sorry, still excited) and we chose it for the well.. blueberry bushes, sweet balcony 7 the corn fields I truly plan on stealing an ear of corn from one drunk night soon, but um..actually but the school district too. But wait.. my kids are 3& 5, and they don’t have a pre-kindergarten/preschool. ((head bang)) Sure, lets pop my born 7 days before thc cut off date 5 year old into kindy. No thanks. Luckily, we found a “God & Jesus” school (seriously, my kids say this, I’m hoping we don;t get kicked out…) that is less than our mortgage & is painted like outer space ( priorities, clearly.)
I am fairly sure no matter where you go or what you do, there is always some snafu ( THAT RHYMED!!!)
Keep telling yourself, if these people don’t want your BJs, then maybe they just aren’t as great as you think, I mean, a good education would clearly supply the knowledge that a good blow job is the best option second to money.