Of the many things I purchase online during the commercial breaks of an insomnia-induced Golden Girls binge, this one has to be the coolest, most emotional, and most life changing.

I mean, yes. The Sushi Bazooka is amazing, and life changing, and sure, I guess I cried when it pooped out the perfect Cali roll, but it was more like, oh my God I’ll never have gas station sushi food poisoning again, where as this? Well this is was more, oh my God, so this is who I am?

In case you missed it, a few months ago, I purchased one of those DNA test kits from Ancestry, the site I once joined to research my family, but grew tired of once I realized it was actual work and not just a series of Buzzfeed’s What Kind of 90’s Cartoon Am I quizzes.

I grew up being told I was Irish, maybe German on my dad’s side, and that’s about it. I mean, my crazy pale skin basically cosigned that for the first few decades, but how amazing to know for sure, right? So I ordered the test, spit in the tube, waited, and it turns out, only part of that is accurate.

I Facebook Live’d the big reveal, and I did not expect it to be as emotional as it was, so absolutely check it out below.

And then, if you are looking for the perfect gift for someone (or yourself) this holiday season, I highly recommend snagging a DNA kit. There is something so empowering and calming about knowing who you are, and I’m so excited to go abroad to explore my family even more. Plus, also, drink beer and eat sausage, which is what I assume (fingers crossed) the entire population of Europe likes to do.


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Click here to get 10% off YOUR DNA test!  

Disclaimer: That right there is my referral link that gets you 10% off your DNA kit, but it’s something everyone gets who purchases one. I am not compensated or working with Ancestry, I just really, really, really think they’re cool as fuck, and I like you a lot, so I share this sort of thing with you. It’s what friends do. 

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