When Andy came back from Korea, he had 80,000 won  in his pocket. Which sounds like a lot, but it really it’s only, like $70.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if Disney World money was like Korea money?

I don’t know what it is.

You go there with every rational thought and plan in the world.

We rented a house, 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, and a heated private pool a mere 10 minutes from Disney. $500 for the week, plus we save tons using the full kitchen and cooking meals at home.

We drove down, saving us over $1000 in plane tickets, plus we get the added benefit roadside attractions and teaching the kids how to use maps, or, as they call them, WHAT IS PAPER? THIS SHIT IS STUPID.

We are only visiting the two Disney parks the kids actually enjoy, and will spend the rest of the days swimming, going to Downtown Disney (free), and hitting up Lego World (free thanks to press passes).

As we pulled into the driveway, I turned around in my seat, and made the kids repeat…

Going to Disney is a privilege.

You will each get to pick out something, on the last day, and not before, so don’t ask.

No temper tantrums, or we will leave, I swear to God.

And yet, here we are, two dumbasses, forking over mortgage payments for plush toys and Jedi robes two days in. What’s that? A giant medieval turkey leg and a Mickey shaped bottle of water, well that seems easier than, like, driving home and eating my lame ass food shaped food.

Then we get back home and empty the receipts from our wallets and eat our feelings.

(Hey, this lunch meat and bread we bought with good intentions isn’t going to eat itself.)

We spent the afternoon at Downtown Disney, walking along the water and letting the kids play and explore.  It’s free and we felt super fiscally awesome about ourselves.

But, Andy kept leaving to take work phone calls, and the kids were getting restless, and honestly, sometimes being a mother is hard when it’s hot and you have Spanx sweat rolling down your back and they were selling frozen margaritas from a cart and my kidneys felt weird so I was probably dehydrated from the heat and the rubber undergarments, and seriously, I barely remember the details.

They got their faces painted?

Um, I guess, you were on the phone, soo…

I thought we weren’t spending money tonight.


You are holding a frozen drink and the kids have painted faces.


How much did that cost?


Like, 50,000 won.

And then he made us go home, and none of us were allowed swim until he felt like we had gotten 50,000 won’s worth of fun from the face paint.

We didn’t, but the margarita was worth every penny.

Four more days.

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