Your Mouth is a Horror Movie

By |2017-06-14T15:38:57-04:00August 27th, 2012|I Draw Horses, Marriage|

The older I get, the less things, in general, gross me out. It's like, you can only ignore the stuff splattered underneath the toilet seat so many times until you realize, nobody else is going to clean that shit up, so you might as well tie a sweatshirt around your face, put on some rubber [...]

Beauty Marks.

By |2017-06-14T15:40:50-04:00January 18th, 2012|My Life|

I have been mole-y since birth. My arms, my shoulders, my legs, below my mouth, I even have not one, but two moles on my vagina. Which makes me special, right mom? I've only ever seen one, and without a mirror, I can't confirm the second, though I've had various reports. It's like the Loch [...]

Breaking Dawn, Duh.

By |2017-06-14T16:14:40-04:00November 16th, 2011|Pop Culture Addiction|

Perfecting my Bella Swan costume and lip bite. All that's missing is being spontaneously impregnated with a hybrid vampire baby who will eat her way out of my uterus before I stick her with the worst name ever.  Next to Kryslyn. (sorry girl in my kid's class.) 2 days.

The Marriage Sermon.

By |2017-06-14T15:16:00-04:00June 24th, 2011|Marriage, Sex|

In order to get married in the Catholic church, you have to complete pre-marital counseling.  I think that's pretty typical as far as religions go, this sort of antiquated attempt to prepare couples for the commitment, importance, and work involved in maintaining a successful marriage. Or as Catholics call it, this is how making babies [...]