The Life Update to the Previous Life Update.

By |2019-01-31T10:47:34-04:00January 31st, 2019|Musings|

All my friends are piles deep into KonMari'ing their lives. Piles of clothes and clutter they no longer need. I am not doing that. Honestly, I'm not purging my closets and desk drawers, because I've already purged my closets and desk drawers. I used to mentally anguish over what I would grab in case of [...]

Brad Pitt

By |2017-06-14T15:46:50-04:00January 10th, 2011|My Life, Pop Culture Addiction|

I'm very sick. I blame my post surgery compromised immune system, but I have contracted the worst cold ever. It's like the apocalypse of colds. It has me laid up, permanently, on the couch, while I do important things like watch the boys play Lego Batman on Xbox and help Gigi dress and undress the [...]

Sans Gallbladder.

By |2017-06-14T15:47:17-04:00January 5th, 2011|My Life|

I have a lot of irrational fears in regards to surgery. What if they leave an instrument inside me? Will they laugh that my boobs fall into my armpits when I lay flat on my back? What if they take out the wrong thing? But mostly, on top of having a horrific reaction to anesthesia, [...]

Unwell.

By |2017-06-14T15:47:45-04:00December 20th, 2010|My Life|

I am writing you this post under unusual circumstances. Two hour ago, I discharged from the hospital in a mad rush to make it home in time to get Jude ready for his last day school Christmas party, in which he wraps a present he made for us, and last year it was a huge [...]

Getting Welsh.

By |2017-06-14T15:51:58-04:00September 20th, 2010|Growing Up, My Life|

I didn't get corpse tendons put in my ankles in 1996. Despite my mom's best efforts, I ignored my need for surgery. What if the anesthesia doesn't work, and I feel everything, and I can't scream or tell anyone, and I am trapped in my own mind? I'll be on crutches for weeks, and there [...]

Waiting rooms and Mennonites.

By |2017-06-14T16:02:46-04:00July 19th, 2009|Marriage|

Oh hai, vasectomy check-in admissions lady. It's 7am. I got dressed in the dark to be here today. My hair is a rat's nest and I am wearing a leopard print bra under my white tank top and some juicy sweatpants. Not that it's your job or anything, but a little advance warning would have been [...]

Rhymes with bahsectomy.

By |2017-06-14T16:35:28-04:00July 13th, 2009|Marriage, Parenting|

I am confused about the stigma men have concerning vasectomies. I mean, I get that any instance in which their junk is manhandled in a non sexual context is unpleasant, but, I get my junk handled all the time, sometimes by doctors, sometimes by clumsy medical students, sometimes by nosey dogs on the street. Am [...]