A New Year.

By |2017-06-14T16:39:03-04:00December 30th, 2011|My Life|

Last year, I spent New Year's Eve in a hospital bed watching Ryan Seacrest's ball drop on a teeny tiny television. I think it was Ryan Seacrest. It may have been an old episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta, I don't know, I was on a lot of drugs. This year, knock on wood, will [...]

The Gallbladder Theory.

By |2017-06-14T15:45:43-04:00February 15th, 2011|My Life|

Whoever said your gallbladder didn't do anything important was a liar. Not only does it keep you from instantly shitting yourself the second you ingest anything fried, fatty or spicy, but, I have come to the conclusion that it is also in charge of your immune system. As in, I am four seconds from living [...]

Brad Pitt

By |2017-06-14T15:46:50-04:00January 10th, 2011|My Life, Pop Culture Addiction|

I'm very sick. I blame my post surgery compromised immune system, but I have contracted the worst cold ever. It's like the apocalypse of colds. It has me laid up, permanently, on the couch, while I do important things like watch the boys play Lego Batman on Xbox and help Gigi dress and undress the [...]

Sans Gallbladder.

By |2017-06-14T15:47:17-04:00January 5th, 2011|My Life|

I have a lot of irrational fears in regards to surgery. What if they leave an instrument inside me? Will they laugh that my boobs fall into my armpits when I lay flat on my back? What if they take out the wrong thing? But mostly, on top of having a horrific reaction to anesthesia, [...]

God, Fate & Drugs.

By |2017-06-14T14:33:09-04:00December 29th, 2010|My Life|

First, before anything else, I have to say thank you to my amazing Doctor, Stephen,  who I know reads this blog, and I am sure regrets, on an hour by hour basis, the fact that I have his cell phone number, but he looks past all my psychotic texts because we are friends and he [...]

Christmas under the covers.

By |2017-06-14T14:33:57-04:00December 27th, 2010|My Life|

Greetings from my bed. You may know if from such hits as... Six hours of Hoarders, WHAT OF IT ANDY!? Underwires are for overachievers. It's not pee, it's spilled Won Ton Soup, fine, I'll change my sweats. And, where's the remote, SERIOUSLY, it was just right here, Andy, are you sitting on it?  Come on, [...]


By |2017-06-14T15:47:45-04:00December 20th, 2010|My Life|

I am writing you this post under unusual circumstances. Two hour ago, I discharged from the hospital in a mad rush to make it home in time to get Jude ready for his last day school Christmas party, in which he wraps a present he made for us, and last year it was a huge [...]