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No, but for real, how?

I remember when a news story about someone dying was a tragedy. The whole town was sad, because loss is awful, and empathy was a thing. Now those stories are met with laugh emojis when shared on Facebook.

Stories about death? Laugh emojis. 

Even if it’s a kid? Laugh emojis.

Even if it’s over half a million people? Laugh emojis.

Stories about discrimination or inequality? Laugh emojis. 

Stories about remedying discrimination or inequality? Half laugh emojis, half angry emojis. 

What I am trying to wrap my brain around is… how do we (as a society) come back from this, but also, why is absolutely everything your business?

And when I say “your,” I mean the universal “your,” not like personally you “your.” I’m sure you’re probably lovely.

Unless you are the “your” I’m talking about, in which case, I’ll await your forthcoming non-answer. 

I just can’t imagine going about my day thinking that anyone gives one flying shit about my feelings on something that zero percent effects me. I am just not that important. 

Lyrics from “Done” by the great Frazzy Ford.

Talk about a trophy generation, y’all. 

People’s feelings out here wanting all the trophies and participation ribbons and last place speeches. 

We’re putting an astonishingly large investment into things that are not ours to feel, when shutting up is completely free. 

Hell, in the old days we used to have to wait until Thanksgiving to hear what our racist or bigoted relatives thought about something, now we just have to check Facebook on a Tuesday.

The same people crying tears into their keyboards about how the world has changed too much for them, are often the very ones leading the charge of hate and mockery.

When you grew up there were only two genders?

Cool. When I grew up, I was excited for people to feel safe and included, and also didn’t find school shootings, pandemic body counts, or overdoses hilarious on social media. 

So I guess we both miss stuff from our childhood.

I could make you a list of things that aren’t your business, but it would be long, and include things like other people’s sex life, bodies, weight, health, marital and family status, finances, etc. 

But it is easier for me to give you a list of the stuff that is your business: you. 

Annnnd that’s it, folks. Until you can wake up and care about the people around you and what they are experiencing, take all your energy and just focus on you. 

I’m going to be real with you right now and tell you something your friends and family are afraid to:

It’s creepy and off putting the way you obsesses over strangers. 

You spend an insane amount of time picturing people having sex or what they look like without underwear on. And not even in the fun, consensual way, but the way where you picture it, pretend to get big mad, talk about it out loud to people you assume are also big mad about the sex lives of grown ass adults they don’t know, cry big tears until you get other people’s personal lives legislated, and then put weird ass signs in your yard… it’s frightening. You are the unsafe person you think you’re warning other people about. You are the person I’m afraid to be alone with, to be in a restroom with, to be around my kids… I know you don’t think it’s you, but it’s you, dude. 

Nobody wants to gay marriage you. Nobody wants to trick you or change the gender on your license. Nobody is clamoring for your two cents in a grocery store. Nobody fancies you a thought leader because you’re (very loudly) struggling with science. Nobody even thinks about you, we’re all just worried how we’re going to get ourselves through the day, lets alone some stranger out here trying to make it even harder for us.

Maybe that’s your problem with all of this? You feel unimportant in relation to the people going through more pressing, legit shit?

The solution to that isn’t Facebook, it’s therapy, maybe some journaling and medication, I don’t know, I’m just listing things I find personally helpful. 

I thoroughly believe we were put here to be and do good. I come from a place of service, and I credit my amazing parents for that.

I try real hard every day to work toward that hitting that mark, and some days look better than others. But, I feel pretty confident my face won’t turn up in a history book toasting champagne at a Hitler party, screaming at a child going to school, or trying to kidnap a governor. That feels like a solid goal, and I’m comfortable letting you steal that for your own personal vision boards. 

It’s not going great out here, guys, and if it doesn’t concern you, maybe think about why that is, because I’m not okay with this *gestures wildly at everything* for us. 

If you find yourself struggling with this, there’s a great song my grandma sang to me as a child that helps remind me of my place in this big world. It goes like this:

What’s the matter with your life?
Why you gotta mess with mine?
Don’t keep sweatin’ what I do
‘Cause I’m gonna be just fine check it out
 
If I want to take a guy home with me tonight
It’s none of your business
And she want to be a freak and sell it on the weekend
It’s none of your business
If they, want to use new pronouns and live their lives in a way that brings them happiness
It’s none of your business
 

It’s a bop. You’re welcome.

Want more songs? I made you a playlist.

If you have issues listening, click here. 

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