What you don’t see in this picture…
The vibrators in the bedside drawers.
The box of wedding photos under the bed.
The broken statue of Mary on the dresser from when Gigi and I recreated the White Christmas favorite, “Sisters.”
The For Sale sign in our yard.
Me, standing teary eyed behind Andy, telling him the angle is wrong and to make it look more “catalog” and less “we just had sex here last night.”
In the words of Kelly Clarkson, my life would suck without you. I mean, it does suck without you. What I’m saying is, I’ve missed you. And I could make this post witty and clever, but the fact is, not being here as often as I’m used to is no good for me. When this whole thing started to grow, the blog and the community and the social networks, it was never about numbers. I was just looking for friends to drink with. It’s why I don’t have a fan page or a tax ID number… which Andy just informed me I actually need, fine Andy, this isn’t about you right now.
Experiencing something with you makes it feel fuller because, sorry guys, you’re my family. I genuinely love talking to all of you here in this space, and I genuinely love when you email me, and I genuinely love hanging out with you and meeting you. In fact, I haven’t gone on a single business trip or family vacation where I haven’t met up with at least one of you in over four years. You are that necessary to my day to day.
Some things have been happening and I hate that I haven’t been here telling you about it, and it’s for no other reason that I’ve used up all my coherent words in book editing and then all I have left before crashing into bed is a wistful sigh and that thing you do with your tongue when your checking to see if you brushed your teeth that day. Here are three important things in my life right now.
A New School. If you have been following me at all over the course of the last two years, you know that one of my children was physically bullied at school. We started this year in a new school, and it’s changed our life. Gone are the days of fighting with administration and bargaining with a sobbing child to go into his classroom and hearing the most amazing seven year old you will ever meet tell you that he doesn’t want to be alive anymore. For the first time in two years, we’re seeing our son again, and he’s amazing, funny, loves school, has 4 best friends and is getting straight A’s. And to the families that loved us so much that they switched schools, too? I cannot give you enough thank you’s for being our village, please take this crumpled IOU, I’m totally good for it.
A Real Book. I am always afraid to write about this, because I don’t know if it’s boring to read about or not? I am always fascinated with the process, and loved devouring anything anyone would write about publishing a book, but I’m a literary-geek, so I can’t get a read on the legit interest of this topic. Writing a book has been an intangible experience. I just turned in my second round of edits on October 1st, and as I hit send, it still felt like this far-off thing I might one day get to experience, maybe. It just wasn’t entirely real to me. The day after I hit send, I was picked up and dropped into an amazing tornado of book covers and author photos and blurbs… and suddenly it’s all very real. You can search Fat Girl Walking on Amazon, and it shows up, like a place holder, it’s not fancy or anything, but it exists and you can even pre-order it. May 5th, 2015 real. That is how real it is.
A Dream House. Andy and I are extremely superstitious. Okay actually I am, and after 9 years of me scaring him with chain-letter level horror shit, it’s starting to rub off. We had no initial plans to even discuss this until things were final, but it’s hard to hide and so consuming and exciting I need you to be a part of it. So while I won’t say much more today, I’ll leave you with two things.
2. Who wants to buy a heavily loved and slightly lived in dream house (seen above), I might have one for sale?