In light of this week’s State of the Union Address, I thought I should maybe just come out and share something with you.
I’m…apolitical.
Kinda like being asexual, only way easier, because it doesn’t require me to know how to tie a man’s necktie.
Socially, I am what you might call, liberal, and that takes precedence for me. My financial status is just way more Cup-O-Noodles than Scrooge McDuck, so I just simply don’t find the benefit in most conservative financial platforms.
But, the truth of it is, I don’t like much of anything that is going on.
I like gay people.
And minorities.
I would like to treat them the same exact way I treat straight people and majorities. Which is sometimes friendly, other times so socially awkward they avoid making eye contact and eventually ask me to stop humming My Humps by Black Eyed Peas in line at the DMV.
Guns are scary. I should never be allowed to shoot them. And, I would also like them never shot at me. Unless you were shooting nachos. But, even then, you’d need to use round chips, for safety. That’s a no brainer.
I’d like to stop having war. That seems like the absolute best way to support our troops. Let’s keep them all alive and home and give them loads of money for doing all the scary shit none of the rest of us want to do.
Religion has absolutely nothing to do with my politics, and since only about 20% of the elected officials in Washington DC share my religious beliefs, I would like for your religion to also have nothing to do with my politics.
I am currently more comfortable with my kids watching Saw III, than watching a political news show on television. Remember back in 2003 when the Dixie Chicks said they didn’t support the war, or the president, and then people fanatically shunned them and called them treasonous for bad mouthing a sitting president during a time of war? Yeah. What happened to that rule? Is that like the Slug Bug rule? It’s only in effect if you are totally high, waiting in line for your triple thick shake and curly fries at the Arby’s Drive through, until you completely forget you are even playing, because Tom Petty’s Free Falling comes on the radio?
Muslim and socialism aren’t bad words. I also think that nobody knows what those words mean, so maybe we can have another stimulus, only instead of money, we all get dictionaries and copies of the Garden State soundtrack.
Death Panels are not real. Much like the Chupacabra. Or Keith Richards. The elf who lives in my panty drawer that breaks all my under wires and drains the batteries from my vibrator, however, totally real. I mean really. All this can be solved by reading (borrrinnngggg).
So, here I sit, all jaded and without affiliation.
Perhaps I shall involve myself in the political process of electing the next American Idol.
The only bad thing to come of that is a new JLo album and Clay Aiken.
You’re welcome, America.
Love your blog!
changing the subject a little- I thought of you when I saw these:
http://www.mamameritbadges.com/
LOVE!
Love. It. I could not have said it better.
agree. agree. agree. and agree!!!
I AGREE!!!
the title of this, totally made my brain go to Usher’s song Confessions, and now I can not get it out of my head… thanks for that… grr.
I’ve read this twice now. I still snorted in my beverage at the stimulus dictionaries. I think that’s the best political idea anyone in this country has had in a while!
I agree with everything you said. I told my husband there needs to be a “just do the right thing” party. I mean really, are their heads so far up their own behinds that it is truly THAT difficult and gut wrenching to find someone else to sit next to for 2 hours? Our differences are so great that we can’t make friends with someone with a different letter after their name? asshats, all of them!
On a more fun note, you need a vibe that is rechargeable. I would suggest the We-Vibe II. NO batteries at all =) Others recharge via USB. And, as someone who goes through batteries like water, I have found the cheaper ones last better than the super-nifty long lasting ones. Target dollar-spot is my happy place. BTW, how did you like what I sent for I Still Do?
Yay! The Barefoot Foodie for president in 2012. I would totally vote for you. We share the same political views. And I support your dictionary stimulus package.
I’ve been stalking your blog for a long time (I read the entire archives) and I enjoy your writing very much. I just had to leave a comment today. :)
Where have you been all my life? I hear you sister. I would say Amen, but I am not christian, so I send a resounding high five to you instead.
We are definitely going to have to agree to disagree here. This made me sad. I hate apathy but can understand why people are. I don’t understand people who don’t vote because they’re lazy or bored or don’t care, that actually hurts me to think of that. I want people to have opinions and if they have questions to ask those questions and to be informed. I also know that it’s a lot of work to keep track of what branch is doing what and when and how but…oh…I want for there to be some trying. I just think that more people should take the time to care about what’s going on in their own backyards and on the national scene.
Heavy, heavy sigh.
Actually, I fancy myself extremely politically aware. Which is why I wrote this post. Don’t mistake my disdain and annoyance with out current political environment as being uninformed or lazy.
I am just exhausted. I find it counter-productive, and it seems unfair for me to invest so much in something that invests so little in me.
Which sounds selfish when I type it out loud.
Perhaps the ball isn’t in my court at all, but rather theirs.
Does that makes sense outside the walls of my brain?
And for the love of God, why won’t Al Gore run again!?
Ok, that is all.
That may be one of the sane, lovely rational things I’ve read. Thank you. It really is that simple, yet so many don’t get it. Right on.
I now want a shake and curly fries. Oh, excellent post. :)
Bye
I want death panels to be real! I need to be on one…I so want to serve my country in this way. It will be like the movie Logan’s Run!
I love this more than I can even begin to tell you.
Also? I’m so with you.
I am kind of the exact same way. Great post!
If I could hug you right now I would!! Well put!