Riding In Cars With Kids

By |2017-06-14T12:50:46-04:00February 28th, 2014|Marriage, Parenting|

I've been having car issues. Mechanically, my SUV was cherry. Logistically I wanted to light it on fire and push it into the pond. The problem is that I have three children in car seats on a single bench seat. So what, you ask? Oh, you've never put a condom on a dude then tried to [...]

Pink Eyes Are The Prettiest Eyes

By |2017-06-14T12:52:48-04:00February 21st, 2014|Marriage, Mental Health, Womanhood|

Someone just come over and put this damn Lunette menstrual cup inside me correctly. I don't have the will to figure it out, internet, I just don't. I tried youtube'ing it, but almost no one has a legitimate menstrual cup insertion video. They all puss out using champagne glasses or diagrams of the inside of [...]

A Day In A Marriage

By |2017-06-14T15:12:59-04:00January 7th, 2014|Marriage|

Andy and I forgot our wedding anniversary. Then we suddenly remembered the night before, except we both incorrectly assumed it was our 10 year anniversary, which left us both scrambling. Fuck, what is the traditional gift for 10 years? Wikipedia says tin. Can it be Target Gift Cards and leftover Udon soup, because I have [...]

We’re Boring. We Can’t Help It.

By |2013-11-21T19:21:01-04:00November 20th, 2013|Marriage, Musings|

For a while there, we could blame our hermitism and societal lameness on the children. Gosh, we'd love to go out, but we don't have a sitter.... we're exhausted... Wyatt is sick... Jude has a game in the morning... Gigi swallowed our car keys.  Kids are like built in get-out-of-shit cards. But the real truth of [...]

Will You Marry Me? IGNORE THE SNOT BUBBLES.

By |2013-10-28T09:52:48-04:00October 28th, 2013|Marriage|

So I just spent 27 minutes flushing my tear ducts out this morning watching this... And that, on top of this... And it wormholed into this.... And then this... I mean, seriously dude, I bet Andy is pretty thankful youtube proposals weren't a thing 10 years ago. Just me, him and the guy in charge [...]

Do We Have To Put a Ring on It?

By |2013-10-07T11:34:57-04:00October 7th, 2013|Marriage|

Andy and I have stopped wearing our wedding rings. I'm not entirely sure when it happened, and I wasn't even really aware of it until we went on vacation with a few other couples, and I thoughtlessly tossed my ring in the hotel safe. You're not wearing your ring? Nah. I never want to take [...]

Last Call Brittany: WTF Relationships

By |2014-08-10T18:07:44-04:00August 8th, 2013|Last Call Brittany, Marriage|

Partners. Can't live with them, can't realistically cast magical spells to turn them into Colin Firth. Tonight I am getting the dirt on relationships, from people who find themselves inside one. Including a very special/reluctant/just kidding/if he ever wants a hand-job again guest... my husband. Panelists: Audrey Binkowski  & David Binkowski  Keili Lefkovitz  & Shane Johnson  Aimee Giese  & Bryan Bugfrog  [...]

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Sex Everyday for a Year

By |2017-10-11T22:50:00-04:00August 8th, 2013|Body, Marriage, Sex|

I just had sex everyday for a year, and I didn't tell you about it. But I did video tape it, so check it out -> here! Just kidding. I wasn't even sure I was going to go into it, but here we are. *pats the empty space on the couch* It was the email [...]

Twenty Stitches

By |2017-06-14T15:35:11-04:00May 10th, 2013|Marriage|

The following is a totally true and gory story. Also, yes, Andy's doctor really writes prescriptions for hand jobs, but I don't think you can actually cash them in at pharmacies. They're like those coupons you give people on Valentine's Day when you don't feel like spending actual money on them. Britt! He never says [...]

The Sprats

By |2017-06-14T13:46:22-04:00May 7th, 2013|Body, Marriage, Sex|

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so between them both, you see, They licked the platter clean. The other day, out of the blue, Andy asked me if I found him as attractive as I did in high school. My immediate reaction was to laugh, which I did, [...]