About aging.

By |2017-06-14T15:53:57-05:00August 2nd, 2010|Growing Up, My Life|

Barring some form of sudden disfigurement, I don't ever want to get plastic surgery on my face. I saw some surgery show once when I was little.  A woman was getting her jowls tightened and they peeled her whole face off. I couldn't eat Spaghetti O's for months after that. No matter how many wrinkles [...]

If I listened to my parents in high school, I’d be Barack Obama right now.

By |2017-06-14T13:31:40-05:00May 27th, 2010|Growing Up, My Life|

Hey. If any of you are looking for those guys from high school that played tons of sports, didn't own a t-shirt without the sleeves cut off, pushed people into lockers, or harassed classmates because they looked "fat," "geeky,"  "dykey" or "faggy?" Relax. Because, I totally found them! They are coaching my sons' tee-ball league. [...]

Sticking it to the man…who happens to be my mom…who was actually totally right…damn it. This is less fun than I thought it would be.

By |2017-06-14T14:14:28-05:00November 6th, 2009|Growing Up, My Life, Womanhood|

When I was little, I wanted NOTHING more that to take a bubble bath with Mr. Bubble. According to the commercials, the bubbles Mr. Bubble produced?  Fucking bananas. But, my mom was, like, Joan Crawford about the Mr. Bubble. Nyet Mr. Bubble. She was like, girls can't use stuff like that, so, naturally, I was [...]

Twenty Eight.

By |2017-06-14T13:40:31-05:00April 28th, 2009|Growing Up, My Life|

Today I am 28. My golden birthday. I would love to find myself in a booth somewhere eating a whole lobster and downing Blue Moons.  But, alas, that is not in the cards at this point.  But soon. Very, very soon. So today, in place of my yummy beer and lobster fest, I am having...umm...well, [...]