Summer time. The season of self tanner and cellulite cream. Spanx and double chin distracting highlights. Cold beer and bonfires. Everything I love and hate...all wrapped into one hot, sticky, pain in the ass season. My biggest summer issues...besides being freakishly concerned that every picture taken of me in the summer is of me standing [...]
Let’s all make a list of things I can’t fit into right now, while I cry and get drunk. It’ll be super fun.
Ok, so you know when yo .......... Um. Sorry, I just blacked out. 30 Day Shred is kicking my ass. I am starting with level 2, hoping to bump this whole charade to something more along the lines of a 15ish Day Shred. But, it's totally hard, and by the time I am done with the 20 [...]
Yesterday I had to go to a wake for an older family member. A great aunt, I think? How horrid is that? I guess I didn't really know her as well as I probably should have. But, that is one of the perks of having an agoraphobic father...free pass to skip all the family reunions. [...]
Why can't we all wear elastic waist maternity pants, like, all the time? How can everyone not be on board with this? You can eat forever, they are super easy to slip off when you are having sex on the basement steps while your kids watch Dora, and they would virtually eradicate the muffin top. [...]
You would think that with me sitting stagnant on the couch, I would just spend oodles of time blogging. Turns out...life's not so exciting on the couch. Hmpf. I had all these grand ideas, like reading and writing and painting my toenails this super cute dark red trampy color I got the other day. Yet...nothing. [...]