This time of year, it’s always super easy to get into the holiday spirit. The spirit of giving. The spirit of love. The spirit of kindness.
We take all those amazing emotions and actions, and plaster them across mankind in a selfless act of compassion and humanity, and it’s wonderful. Truly, it’s what Upworthy videos are made of.
Fa LA LA LA LAAAAA, LA LA LA LAAAAAA.
It’s important for us to do for others this time of year, because doing for ourselves is selfish, right?
There is something to be said about the level of kindness we extend to others, but don’t afford ourselves. In short, it’s fucked up.
A few weeks ago I stood in the dressing room of a bridal salon as a size 8 bridesmaid’s dress was being rigged to my bra strap and underwear with those giant chip-clips, explaining to the saleswoman all the reasons the pale yellow gown didn’t fit.
I lamented about my lumps and bumps and rolls. Dissected my back fat. I made excuses for what I had eaten that day. I even asked her to dim the lights, and while staring head on in the floor length mirror, considered dropping out of the wedding. Twice.
To be fair, it was a mermaid style halter dress, and my body is not made for such things. But more importantly, I said all those bad things about myself to a stranger. Not a friend or confidant, I straight up tore my body to bits in front of a lady who knew nothing about me except my name and that I wasn’t a size 8. I was doing confident womanhood wrong.
The reality is, in the deepest part of my soul, that I am always two more stretchmarks or a broken bra hook away from potentially hating on myself. I have to make a conscious decision every day in the mirror to show myself kindness. It’s way too easy to default to the negative, because that’s the vocabulary and narrative I have been armed with.
Think of it as a game of Password, but the answer was always “fat.”
I didn’t have the language for my beauty, I had to learn it. And then, I had to give myself permission to use it, like, in public.
(They should totally teach this in school, by the way. It’s so basic, and way easier to grasp than “new math.”)
So this season, when you are busy showing compassion and respect and kindness to those around you, I want to ask you to not forget yourself. In fact, I demand it.
And to further drive this concept home, I’m going to bribe you.
Every Christmas I do a giveaway featuring one of my favorite things, and I’ve decided to add an extra catch. This year I want you to leave me a comment about how you plan to show yourself kindness, starting now. And in return for that, you will have a chance to win a curated box full of all my favorite things.
Deer Head Sweatshirt, size XXL… if you follow me on instagram, you already know I am all about this rad shirt.
Remington Curling Wand… the star of my mermaid hair tutorial.
The Wet Brush… aka my thank you Jesus brush.
The Ryan Gosling Hey Girl Journal… for all your deep thoughts and shit.
The complete season of My So Called Life… because we all still have feelings about this, and we need to work them out together.
Strawberry Australian Liccorice… it’s the best thing on earth.
And so much more!
UPDATE: NiceShirt.Org has also generously agreed to giveaway TWO ultra fabulous Be Kind to Yourself shirts to TWO lucky winners!
(Can’t wait? Click here to snag one for yourself now and help a great cause!)
You can leave as many comments as you like. This giveaway runs through Sunday only, ending November 17th at 11:59pm EST. One (1) winner will be randomly selected for the curated box, and two (2) winners will be selected to win a Be Kind t-shirt. The prizes will be shipped upon confirmation of winning. You must reply to me within 24 hours via email confirmation, or a new winner will be drawn. This giveaway is open to residents of US and Canada only.