So yes, Andy bogarted my Christmas gift and got testosterone furniture. And no, it’s not returnable, it’s a floor model.

But, the other half of our Christmas plan was for him to get a new television.  Which he still got.

It’s 60 inches, which to me, sounds like way too many inches for a television.

Aside from that, when I asked where our current 46 inches too many television would be going, I was told, obviously, it would be going in the bedroom.

A 46 inch television in the bedroom sounds excessive. We already have my old tube tv in there,  it’s 29 inches and Andy bitches about every time he walks by, because seriously, ya’ll, he is so way more evolved than he was 10 years ago when he watched Becker on it just fine in college.

A small television seemed ok.  I could watch the news while I was getting dressed in the morning, The Daily Show before falling asleep, or any crap-ass thing on Bravo when I was sick in bed.

But, there is nothing unobtrusive about a 46 inch television mounted on the wall in front of your bed.

I don’t like this.

Why, it’s awesome, we can finally watch a good tv in bed.

Right, but bedrooms are supposed to be romantic sanctuaries, how are we ever going to make out with Sports Center lighting up the whole room?

Well, we could watch porn and stuff on it, too.

It’s huge! If we watched porn on that, it’d basically be like a real life orgy. And frankly, Andy, you don’t have the manscaping to compete with that.

On a slightly related note, he also bought slippers at Target the other day. So now we’re that couple with the giant television in our room that wears slippers.

Up next? Eating cereal in bed, robes, and missionary sex on government recognized holidays.

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