Do you know how to braid?

Should I whiten my teeth, like, pretend you are looking at me, and I look like myself, only with whiter teeth, how do I look?

Can I paint my toes hot pink in the winter, or is that like white after Labor Day?

Andy, seriously, can you tell I’m all bloaty right now?  What about if I turn to the side?

Ok listen, you have to stop asking me this shit, you’re going to make me start my period or something.

Andy is great and all, but sometimes, I just need my best friends.


Not friends.

trio schick

They know my ATM pin, my real middle name, my actual jean size and have copies of my will.

They aren’t my friends at all.

They are my sisters.

My soul, my wine glass and my DVR are so glad they’re here.

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