I’m so behind on laundry, I wore my maternity bathing suit bottoms as underwear for an entire day.

At first it was uncomfortable, having an elastic band sitting under my bra strap.

But it totally made me more productive.

I think it’s because I wasn’t pulling my underwear up all day.  Plus, I could just stuck stuff in there like a kangaroo pouch.

Cell phone, dvr remote, candy.

Everything I need, right in my belly pouch.

Until all the stuff slips down super low, and then it becomes less of a convenience and more of an adventure.

Why isn’t all my underwear this big and stretchy?

Oh yes, I remember.

Years ago, when we were just engaged, Andy and I sat in our favorite booth, at our favorite Greek restaurant, talking about how once we were married, we would never fall into a routine.  We’d have sex every day, and totally enjoy it.  I would never buy giant panties, or stop shaving my legs and cut all my hair off.  He, in turn, promised to never let his toe nails get long, or grow a dad mustache, or buy a motorcycle if his hairline started to recede.

Andy seems to be doing so so.

My average is….shakey.

We are currently knee deep in the remodeling and building of my office.  Andy is all busy assembling things and carrying tools around and being super bossy to everyone.  He kicked us all out of the room after about 10 minutes of us playing with stuff, and only talks to us when he needs something or to yell about screws and measurements.

Brittany!!!!!

Yes?

Have you seen the red handled Phillips screwdriver?

Is that the one with lots of fingers or just one finger?

They don’t *sigh* lots of fingers.

Hmmm, let me check my belly pouch.

This is disturbing.

It’s totally natural, kangaroos do it all the time.

Yeah, well, I’m not sleeping with a kangaroo and I’m pretty sure they don’t keep Fruit Rollups in their sacs.

Well that’d be weird.

Yes.  THAT would be the weird part of this equation.

I don’t have your screwdriver, but I have a compass, one of those rulers that makes right angles, and a tiny bag of peanuts from our flight back from New York?

You’re doing the laundry today, right?

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