You would think that with me sitting stagnant on the couch, I would just spend oodles of time blogging.

Turns out…life’s not so exciting on the couch.

Hmpf.

I had all these grand ideas, like reading and writing and painting my toenails this super cute dark red trampy color I got the other day.

Yet…nothing.

And, in all honesty…I can’t even reach my toes anymore.

Plus, I was getting in the shower yesterday, and I was all psyched because I got a new razor head, so I wouldn’t be blindly hacking away at my poor bikini line with a dull, jagged, rusty razor anymore. So anyways, I got in only to realize I totally forgot my pretty flower shaped bath loofah (um yeah, you pull one of your hubby’s genital hair’s out of your body sponge one time, you’ll never leave it vulnerable to infiltration again. Ever.), so I step out to grab it from the super secret hiding spot in the wall cabinet, when boom.

I caught my reflection in the mirror, and I thought…Oh my God, where have I seen that body before?

Wait…I remember…on my mother.

Holy Christ.

Get me some cupcakes, some rolos, a keg of Sprite, some crocs, and some pants with a sensible waistline. The transformation is complete. I am never leaving the bathroom again.

Until later tonight. It’s Chinese food night at my parents. And I would hate for the boys to miss out on fun bonding at Oma and Opa’s house.

So, I’ll suck it up, put on a thermal moo moo, and tough it out…for the kids.

And the lomein.

P.S. Did you know I was a MomDot Domestic Dyson Diva!? Sounds hot, huh. Oh it is, complete with a sexy new Dyson Animal, so follow me on my Dyson Animal journey here!

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