I fee like I have gotten fat.

That’s because you have.

Seriously! You’ve noticed?

 Noticed what? That you can’t fit into anything, your arms have bat wings, and you have been secretly photoshopping your double chin out of the 4th of July picnic pictures? Um, yeah, I’ve noticed.

Wow, I appreciate your candor. I guess since it is so noticeable I should start doing something about it, huh.

You mean besides your usual routine of eating lots, drinking lots, and then not doing lots? Yeah, maybe wanna change that up a bit.

Gosh, I am lucky to have married such a wonderfully honest man.

Or it may have also gone like this.

I feel like I have gotten fat.

Really? I don’t see it, if anything, I would say you look too thin.

Yeah, I think you may be right.

And that folks, is how you make a marriage work.

My husband knows, the thinner he makes me feel, the closer he thinks he is getting to a threesome.

It’s basic porn mathematical theory, we learned it from my priest during pre-marriage counseling…that and how Jesus is with us always…so, I guess, if you want to get all technical, we’ve already had lots of threesomes.

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