I am working on a post about my weight, and it’s shockingly difficult. Plus, I am hungry and craving day old birthday cake; I hate that we had all our kids in stupid April.

But, I have been having bursts of brain activity in my own, personal built in tumblr site, Amuse Bouche, so I thought I would pick a few favorites from there to distract you from the fact that I am looking in your fridge right now, and honestly, Mountain Dew Code Red? Really? That’s made of gasoline and llama period. Please stop drinking that.

Andy Hates Kyle

Please stop putting your rhetoric and bibles in my vagina. It hurts.

I stand by this idea, plus everyone knows sharks are scientologists.

THIS is gonna happen guys, I am going to make THIS happen, FIND ME AN AGENT.

This is the best part of not sleeping, aside from the hallucinations and eye bags.

This is the mega recipe post people always ask me for. You are welcome.

If you don’t know who J.P. Prewitt is, we can’t be friends anymore.

Seriously you guys, we have GOT to get to the bottom of this, and I’m going to need photographic proof.

Annnnd now I need this. Right now.

Open marriage, let’s do it!

OK, enjoy yourself, and tomorrow I will be back…raw.

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