Two things bug me: smug people and the fact that Diane Keaton insists on wearing gloves to award shows in the middle of summer.
Pregnant people are stalking me. It's like they can smell that I am done reproducing, so they waddle up to me all glowy and adorable and rub their gestation in my face. I just want a beautiful little baby growing in my belly again. Andy told me to get a tape worm. Andy's an asshole. [...]