Gigi and all things lovely.

By |2017-06-14T15:22:24-04:00April 30th, 2010|Parenting|

For the life of me, I couldn't remember what Andy got me for my birthday last year. I think monumental gifts stopped about four years ago.  We were too tired for intricacy.  Had too much baggage for quick getaways.  And, our birthdays were always kinda backburnered to the ordering of Lightning McQueen cakes and Bounce [...]

The girl.

By |2017-06-14T15:23:25-04:00February 26th, 2010|Parenting|

One thing I learned early on, if you call in sick, always say it's with diarrhea, because nobody ever questions you when you say you have diarrhea. Same thing with parenting. The baby is fussy, the boys are screaming and asking for, I don't know, stuff, ANY STUFFS WILL DO, and Andy is playing Xbox, [...]


By |2017-06-14T16:03:12-04:00June 11th, 2009|Marriage, Parenting|

So, six weeks ago, this little piece of girly yumminess popped out of me. Ok, not so much popped, as exploded out, leaving in her wake, total and utter vaginal destruction. But I'd hate for the horrific reality to overshadow her cuteness. Regardless of the gory details, she's here. And for six weeks, we have [...]

General Tso’s guide to labor and placenta eating.

By |2017-06-14T14:57:41-04:00April 23rd, 2009|Parenting|

Lots of sex.  Doggy style.  And lots of walking.  Wow. Really? Thanks for the tips overweight former male teacher from grade school. I love unsolicited labor advice when I am randomly standing in line behind you at the pharmacy. Especially from hairy, fat dudes from my past. Because now I have to picture you banging [...]

Am sexy, y’all.

By |2017-06-14T14:57:58-04:00April 7th, 2009|Parenting, Sex|

I have been pregnant three times. I can't really say I've glowed through any of them. In fact, I have no knocked up pictures from round one, and since I was carrying the weight of dos pregnancies the second time around, I have zip from that experience either. The only documented proof I have of [...]


By |2017-06-14T14:59:09-04:00April 3rd, 2009|Parenting|

So, I know why you are all here. I'm like a time bomb. Did she pop? Is she live vlogging the birth? Will she poop on the table? And the truth is, no.  I didn't pop...yet.  I am not vlogging the birth, as I can in no way verify what the fuck things even look [...]

Rainbow sherbet makes me smile.

By |2017-06-14T14:59:43-04:00March 19th, 2009|Parenting|

It's funny where you can have your find Jesus moment. For me, it was sitting on the toilet in my OB's office with piss on my hands. But, it was my own not entirely disgusting. It is just getting increasingly hard for me to catch things in a cup. Anyways. I am sitting on [...]


By |2017-06-14T15:01:46-04:00February 27th, 2009|Parenting|

You know what I am sick of?  Every other person on the planet who is pregnant and does not weigh almost 200 lbs.  You women.  The ones who are barely showing, and when you do, it looks like you merely have a nerf ball tucked under your shirt.  The ones who are soo frustrated that [...]