About Utah, Part One: Homonyms.

By |2017-06-14T15:54:39-04:00June 28th, 2010|My Life, Travel|

I started writing this in Utah about 48 hours ago However, Utah 48 hours ago and Utah now are two totally different things. A lot has happened.  So much, that I have decided to run my account of Utah in a three part series. Which sounds prolific, but is really just due to the fact [...]

Cheating.

By |2017-06-14T13:30:22-04:00June 15th, 2010|Marriage|

I have really strong beliefs about marriage and monogamy. Not in the extreme right, Carrie Prejean kind of way. Two dudes, two ladies, I don't care.  As long as they are of age and one of them is not Charlie Sheen, they have my blessing. Extra blessings if I can be the Maid of Honor [...]

Romance is dead. Apparently.

By |2017-06-14T15:55:40-04:00June 1st, 2010|Marriage, Sex|

We had just had one of those really uncomfortable talks. The one where I explain that sometimes I want a back rub because my back hurts.  And, not because I want to have sex. How, for women, it's 80% mental. That I need wooing and hand holding and talking about things that aren't 24 or [...]

Still horizontal. Pasta is dead to me.

By |2017-06-14T15:56:29-04:00May 11th, 2010|My Life|

Mothers Day.  5 days post Pasta Salad Apocalypse 2010. Gift: Salmon colored roses and a booklet of homemade mom coupons to make me feel like I live in a 24 hour spa that kinda smells like vomit and italian dressing, and is staffed by cheery midgets that give out hugs and foot rubs in exchange [...]

It’s like I need a chastity belt. For my boobs.

By |2017-06-14T15:56:52-04:00April 8th, 2010|Parenting|

me:  I think I was just baby raped. Andy:  What are you talking about? me:  I just woke up and found Gigi nursing without my consent. Andy:  She can't talk yet.  And, she's your daughter. me:  She pulled my boob out while I was unconscious and started breastfeeding.  I watch Law & Order SVU.  People [...]

For Andy.

By |2017-06-14T15:23:08-04:00April 5th, 2010|Marriage|

I met Andy when I was 15. He got in a car accident in front of my house at the start of summer, walked up and asked to use the phone, and he never left. Before Andy, I had mix of odds and ends boyfriends. Mostly just good for kissing and driving me around. Andy [...]

Keeping the romance alive. And groomed.

By |2017-06-14T14:11:24-04:00March 15th, 2010|Sex|

Ya know when you  get home from an amazing trip visiting your friends, and your husband is all, OMG NOW. And, you are like, but dude, I have travel vagina. Which is when you have been sitting in hot airplane between two fat dudes, with your legs together too long.  Plus, you didn't wipe super [...]