humor

/Tag: humor

Two Butts.

By |2017-06-14T15:42:08-04:00November 8th, 2011|Parenting|

Being broke and in college sucked.  No car, little free time, massive expenses. I once took a job with a environmental lobbying firm looking for students to get involved.  I was super excited. I showed up in my Birkenstocks with my hemp bag, looking all politically turmoiled, and even considered putting a hoop in my nose.  But, [...]

Way to Go, Bruce Jenner.

By |2017-06-14T16:14:53-04:00November 2nd, 2011|Pop Culture Addiction|

Ok so, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce after 72 super hard days of marriage, and a two part wedding special on E!, or as I like to call it, the Ryan Seacrest is Ruining Humanity Channel, that netted her a rumored 17 million dollars. Well, this makes sense. Gay people can't get married in the [...]

Haunted.

By |2017-06-14T15:42:23-04:00October 31st, 2011|My Life|

I grew up in the middle of the woods, also known as, the place where everyone fucking dies in every scary movie, ever. So, I never watched them. In fact, up until college, I had only seen one scary movie my whole entire life.  April Fools Day. And then, Andy tried to convince me to face [...]

Tales from the Road Part 1

By |2017-06-14T15:42:40-04:00October 24th, 2011|My Life, Travel, Womanhood|

Curse you fear of flight. I don't know why, in my head, I envision road trips going better than they actually do. I mean, I know my kids are technophiles and they wouldn't how to sing in a round if it punched them in the face, but really with the constant need for stimulation, already? The [...]

Welcome Home

By |2017-06-14T14:24:12-04:00October 18th, 2011|DIY, Home, Marriage|

You know how in Twilight, Alice has visions of people's future in her head, and when she can't see it, it's because they are dead or something? That is how I like to pretend my brain works. In my mind, I am psychic, so I feel like if I don't envision something happening, it's because [...]

Step 2: Ruining Your Life

By |2017-06-14T13:25:06-04:00October 14th, 2011|My Life, Parenting|

For the life of me, I cannot remember at what age I first felt embarrassed by my parents. I feel like it wasn't something I knew I was supposed to feel by myself, but rather, something someone else told me I was supposed to be feeling. Wanna ride with me and my mom for the [...]

The Bridal Shower.

By |2017-06-14T13:55:17-04:00October 11th, 2011|My Life|

I should preface this by saying, I do not bring my kids to bridal showers. Hell, I barely get excited about bringing them children's birthday parties, because balancing three flimsy paper plates full of pulled pork sandwiches and explaining why you can't open other people's presents 4000 times is akin to eating at Long John [...]

Eleven Days

By |2011-11-16T21:18:42-04:00October 4th, 2011|Marriage, Parenting|

When I say things like, oh 11 days isn't very long, in my head, it makes sense. Because 11 days isn't very long.  It's not even two weeks. I've been constipated and on crash diets that have lasted longer than that. But when I pulled up to the departures terminal, and he got out of [...]