Last Call Debuts Tonight

April 11, 2013

At 10pm EST, I’ll be joining a group of rad women to laugh, dish, drink heavily…. and probably talk about vaginas. It’s a can’t miss! RSVP to watch LIVE by clicking here!  

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Orlando is for Families…and Overdraft Fees.

April 9, 2013

Once or twice a year we head down to Florida. It’s an absolute privilege my children get as a byproduct of having in-laws and friends that now reside in the Sunshine State. Last week I did a little venting on the myth that is the “family vacation.” I blame the steroids I was on for […]

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Happy Birthday, Papa.

April 5, 2013

The kids call him papa. I think it makes people uncomfortable, which only goads us on, triple dog daring us into those weird couples who refer to each other as “papa” and “mama” across the room from each other at parties or in line for the complimentary hotel continental breakfast. We have all our important […]

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Family Vacation? Liar.

April 2, 2013

I remember when we landed in Cleveland from L.A. We stood in baggage claim hand in hand. He carried my bags for me, and snuggled me close as we ran in the snow to our car. We stopped at a restaurant off the turnpike on the drive home, he ran in to pee and came […]

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Summer Maxi

March 29, 2013

Yeahhhhh…. no. I know my body. I know my thighs. I know how attractive I look fishing fabric out of the fold of my vagina. Bottom line? I am not built for shorts. Even at my thinnest, like in high school when I thought I was a fat ass but would now drink the blood […]

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March 26, 2013

I arrived in Florida to tornadoes, hail, cool temperatures… oh, and an email box full of requests from morning news shows. All because a chubby girl wore a bikini on the internet. I mean, can you even imagine!? So, yesterday we spent the day poolside with the crew of Good Morning America. We talked about […]

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Step Right Up, The Most Exciting Game On The Midway!

March 21, 2013

Navin R. Johnson: The most exciting game on the midway! Imagine the thrill of getting your weight guessed by a professional! You can blow up your cheeks, you can stick out your chest, but you’re not going to fool the guesser. How ’bout you, sir? Step right up! Carnival Goer: Hey honey, let’s see how […]

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Bikini Mountain

March 18, 2013

So, when I started do this whole thing where once a year I put on a bathing suit and go in public, I thought, yes. This feels brave. This feels strong. And it was, until one day it wasn’t. It doesn’t necessarily feel less strong or less brave, it just feels… normal. Which is amazing. […]

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Garage Fridge

March 13, 2013

This weekend we put a fridge in our garage. We have a garage fridge. Exciting, right? Okay just stay with me here, I have a point, let me muddle about to get there a sec. We put a fridge in our garage… and then I had an emotional breakdown. See? There’s the hook you were […]

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The Tiny Fashionista

March 8, 2013

Having a girl has been a really, really awesome head trip. After two boys, I totally wanted a girl, but I had no idea what I was getting. I mean, it’s way better than I expected, but sometimes Andy and I look at each other all… Where did she come from? How does she know […]

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