Opening this text window feels weird, but also like home. So like weird home. Or, you know, normal home, because what home isn't weird? Anyways, here we are together, on the internet.
First of all, I have book mono. It's a legitimate thing. You get it one of two ways. From open mouth kissing your … [Read More...]
We spent Easter in a family owned restaurant in Erie Michigan, and as we placed our drink orders at the bar before taking our seats - as Catholics are wont to do - I became intimidated by the requests for Manhattans and Whiskeys on the rocks and Dry Martinis, so I panicked and ordered a frozen Pina … [Read More...]
Why on Earth was I so late on the uptake with this? Bananas? Good. Ice cream? Good. Banana Ice Cream? Cheaper than other ice cream.
So apparently, you can make ice cream out of bananas. Just bananas, nothing added. They do this weird thing that when you blend them, they turn into creamy ice … [Read More...]
My book is due today, and writing it has been mentally consuming. I'm sorry I have been absent, but I wanted to take a second to update you on where I've been, because it's been a pretty amazing month.
First up, a peek at what I did while I was in New York City last week...
I ate a human … [Read More...]
Monday I rolled over in bed to come face to face with my little doll-faced cherub. I am keenly aware of the imaginary clock ticking above our heads, and our time of morning time girl snuggles are fleeting. I touched my finger to her warm little nose and she opened her heavy eyes, smiled softly, and … [Read More...]
With Season 2 starting up ASAP, I totally fell into a YouTube worm hole reliving all Season 1's HILARIOUS episodes.
Episode 1: Brazillian Waxes and Girl Talk
Episode 2: Spanx & Skinny Jeans
Episode 3: Working Girls
Episode 4: Sex & Dirty Books with Tiffany Reisz
Episode 5: … [Read More...]
So Friday I did my own personal equivalent of the polar bear plunge, and put up the yearly photo of me in a bathing suit, nay.. a bikini, and it's become one of my favorite traditions. It's like a starter gun to my spring/summer self esteem, which needs to top off at a higher level than my … [Read More...]
We love the sun.
We love the water.
We sometimes forget to shave that one strip on the back of our legs.
And we worry like hell about what the other women at the beach think of us, because the honest to God truth is, forget the men, we judge each other the hardest. There are entire … [Read More...]
I've been having car issues. Mechanically, my SUV was cherry. Logistically I wanted to light it on fire and push it into the pond. The problem is that I have three children in car seats on a single bench seat. So what, you ask?
Oh, you've never put a condom on a dude then tried to shove his balls … [Read More...]
Yesterday was not a pretty day. I was not feeling it. I was not feeling it at all.
I was getting ready for an event and none of my clothes were agreeing with me. Mountains of them all over the closet in protest. Big fucking piles of nope. And since I've been riding high on the lady emotion train, … [Read More...]