My book is due today, and writing it has been mentally consuming. I'm sorry I have been absent, but I wanted to take a second to update you on where I've been, because it's been a pretty amazing month.
First up, a peek at what I did while I was in New York City last week...
I ate a human … [Read More...]
Monday I rolled over in bed to come face to face with my little doll-faced cherub. I am keenly aware of the imaginary clock ticking above our heads, and our time of morning time girl snuggles are fleeting. I touched my finger to her warm little nose and she opened her heavy eyes, smiled softly, and … [Read More...]
With Season 2 starting up ASAP, I totally fell into a YouTube worm hole reliving all Season 1's HILARIOUS episodes.
Episode 1: Brazillian Waxes and Girl Talk
Episode 2: Spanx & Skinny Jeans
Episode 3: Working Girls
Episode 4: Sex & Dirty Books with Tiffany Reisz
Episode 5: … [Read More...]
So Friday I did my own personal equivalent of the polar bear plunge, and put up the yearly photo of me in a bathing suit, nay.. a bikini, and it's become one of my favorite traditions. It's like a starter gun to my spring/summer self esteem, which needs to top off at a higher level than my … [Read More...]
We love the sun.
We love the water.
We sometimes forget to shave that one strip on the back of our legs.
And we worry like hell about what the other women at the beach think of us, because the honest to God truth is, forget the men, we judge each other the hardest. There are entire … [Read More...]
I've been having car issues. Mechanically, my SUV was cherry. Logistically I wanted to light it on fire and push it into the pond. The problem is that I have three children in car seats on a single bench seat. So what, you ask?
Oh, you've never put a condom on a dude then tried to shove his balls … [Read More...]
Yesterday was not a pretty day. I was not feeling it. I was not feeling it at all.
I was getting ready for an event and none of my clothes were agreeing with me. Mountains of them all over the closet in protest. Big fucking piles of nope. And since I've been riding high on the lady emotion train, … [Read More...]
Someone just come over and put this damn Lunette menstrual cup inside me correctly. I don't have the will to figure it out, internet, I just don't. I tried youtube'ing it, but almost no one has a legitimate menstrual cup insertion video. They all puss out using champagne glasses or diagrams of the … [Read More...]
Two days ago we went to the Sing-Along version of Frozen, because we still have money left in our retirement account and haven't yet fulfilled our apparent moral obligation to continuously bolster the box office success of this cartoon.
I had just finished the reprise of For The First Time in … [Read More...]
We've basically been stuck in our house since January 1st, and aside from the uncontrollable sobbing and eye twitching, it's been amazing. I'm like Sissy Spacek in Blast From The Past.
There's been constant rainbow looming, online shopping, minor home renovations, and it's also cleared the way … [Read More...]