"You never call me anymore." He said.
"Yes I do!"
"Um no, you don't. It's Wednesday and you haven't called to bug me at work all week?"
So, two things. One, he apparently only pretends to be annoyed with me, which only confirms my theory that my exasperating personality is a large part of … [Read More...]
Ever have the type of stomach virus that renders every poor schmuck that comes to your door a potential caretaker?
"I just threw up so hard toilet water splashed up and hit my face and I pooped in my shorts, what should I do?" I asked, holding a towel to my cheek. … [Read More...]
You know that smell? It's chilly and windy and the air smells cold, like something fierce is coming?
I love winter. Not just for the carb-filled food and warm and fuzzy holidays, but for the tall boots, jeans, and a much needed break from crotch sweat. I can finally pull out all my absolute … [Read More...]
Writing about writing is a big huge giant meta wormhole, and it might not appeal to absolutely anyone reading this, but should some desperate author one day google something like "how to write a book, no seriously, please help me?" I hope this post helps them to not feel so utterly, utterly alone … [Read More...]
Growing up, I wanted to have two kids. A boy named Josh and a girl named Mercedes.
Josh would naturally be the big man on campus, and when I say that, imagine me saying it the way your grandmother says it when she asks you about school.
"How's school, Josh? I assume you're the big man on … [Read More...]
This is awkward. I don't want it to be, but it is. We've become the sort of friends that are only friends because we don't know how not to be. After 13 years it's not meaningful, it's habitual. … [Read More...]
I can't sleep. That's a relatively normal thing, really, as anyone who has gotten completely coherent emails from me at 3am can attest. I don't sleep.
I have the next round of edits due on my book in, ohhhhhhh, 13 days. I was recently hired by a morning radio show to come and chat every Thursday, … [Read More...]
It's fall. I don't care what the calendar says, everything tastes like pumpkins and candy is snack size, that's how you know. And fall time means tall boots time, which happens to be my favorite time of all! … [Read More...]