People my husband has told we are pregnant: His friends, his brother, his barber, the guy who changed the oil in our car, and the 12 year old next door neighbor who asked why she saw me throwing up in the backyard.People my husband has not told yet: His parents.This is not surprising. The last … [Read More...]
Sorry. Puke. Must update. Need help. Enter Allison. Say hi to her. Now. It gives me strength. Must. Vomit. Godspeed.Dear Friends of Brittany's Blog-I'm here today because Brittany has been feeling under the weather. It is most likely due to the start of college football season, which has … [Read More...]
Ikea is not a store, Ikea is a big fucking chore.The parking process is like fucking Disney World, which is annoying to me, as I hate parking...and walking...especially with two kids and a mother who can't contain herself. She very well may have wet herself at the big gawdy blue and gold Graceland … [Read More...]
1. I rarely offer advice...out loud. Sure, I will bad mouth and judge the fuck out of you in my head, but out loud? Not so much. Mostly because I am a giant pussy, I can't run that fast, plus my ankle always gives out due to an old soccer injury.But. I will share this nugget with you. If you … [Read More...]
I got my hair cut. Six whole inches. Pretty exciting, huh?!*wink, wink*COPYRIGHT BAREFOOT FOODIE 2009
All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author. … [Read More...]
I am still here, and I want to write more, but my ability to sit upright and focus on my 52 inch computer monitor (yes for real, my husband feels WoW is best viewed in life size) has been compromised by the bile and undigested saltine crackers that keep creeping back up my esophagus.But, know that I … [Read More...]
1. Should I be concerned my pee is a burnt orange color? I feel like I should be.
2. This weekend, I missed out on the biggest event in my home town, aside from Annual Couch Potato Derby, because I opted to spend my Saturday...and most of today...on my knees next to the toilet, the victim of … [Read More...]
Me: My boobs hurt, and I feel bloated.
Pregnant Emily: It's way too early to have any inklings of pregnancy, it's all in your head.
Me: So me leaking milk is a figment of my imagination?!
Pregnant Emily: Wait, what!?
Me: I may have exaggerated a bit just then.
Pregnant Emily: … [Read More...]
So, Brittany can't post today, she is too busy cowering in a dark room with toothpaste on her face, so in her place, is yours truly, her blemish. Aka, biggest motherfucking zit ever.
I didn't start out this big. At first, I was all calm and subtle, but then Brittany had to be a … [Read More...]
I am the mom of two boys.
Sure, before my first, I may have dreamed about a gaggle of little girls. We'd play dress up, do each others hair, have girls nights out, shop for wedding dresses...but then, we found out we were having a boy, and then another boy, and my pink dreams kinda fizzled … [Read More...]