When animals attack me, on a personal level.

May 21, 2008

The good news is, my hubby is over his 24 hour bug. Thankfully. I had about had my fill of running ziploc bags of vomit to the trash can, dryheaving the whole way there. And, ofcourse, I only had the quart size. I love my life. Bad news is, I’ll save you the messy specifics, […]

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How about a big bowl of disgusting?

May 20, 2008

There are a few traits that my husband has retained from his life, prior to me, a long 13 years ago. Some are really cute, like the way he says the word nachos like nay-chos, or when he insists on only drinking milk out of those teeny little dixe cups. Some are annoying, like the […]

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Surf and Turf

May 18, 2008

Or, as I like to call it, things you make for your husband when you do something bad, like juice his laptop…or break his electric razor shaving your legs even though he asked you to stop doing that six months ago, but you still do it in secret when he isn’t home. Enter, surf and […]

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Dear Husband,

May 18, 2008

You are never around anymore, as the weather is beautiful, and you have since moved on to your summer home at the golf green, so I decided to write you this letter to keep you up to date on the haps (I heard it on Teen Disney, pretty hip, huh), since I know you secretly […]

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Which is hotter…mini van or refurbished school bus?

May 14, 2008

As I laid in bed this morning, teetering on the edge of a mattress holding two toddlers, a pug and a husband, my first thought was…what the fuck. My youngest is completely sweated to my side, the oldest is horizontal across the middle of the bed, and both the dog and husband are snoring so […]

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Beans don’t burn on the grill…

May 13, 2008

Woot! Just going to give a big ‘ole shoutout to alltop.com. Thanks for featuring me at http://humor.alltop.com/ . If you haven’t been there, you should check it out, it’s brilliant….and not just because I am featured there…although that helps…I apparently have an ego issue, folks…and it likes to be stroked…what can I say. Big head […]

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I need a cold steak and some advil

May 13, 2008

Things that hurt when you are hit across the face with them… metal measuring cupsa whiska rolling pina garlic press(Can you tell I didn’t child proof my gadget drawer in the kitchen???)a box of swiffer wet jet padsa tape dispenserthe mouse as it is swung around by the cordthe stick I used to flick the […]

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You can sleep when you’re dead.

May 12, 2008

Things I’ve learned about children’s birthday parties…. 1. Yes, in real life, a road is black. However, in terms of a cake, a road of black frosting is not a good idea. Unless, that is, you don’t mind looking like hobo on Halloween with cheap tooth black out wax. Nothing like 100 pictures of family […]

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Jumping Jack Flash…is in no way realted to this post, I just like the song.

May 9, 2008

Pulse? Check. I am still here folks. A girl can’t leave the cyber world for a few days without returning to a rash of urgent emails from friends and family fearing the worst. A possible mass bird abduction? Death by beaking? Alas no. Just utterly busy. And, because I know you like it, in no […]

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Bastards.

May 6, 2008

Phase II: Get the guns and fireworks, Drum! COPYRIGHT BAREFOOT FOODIE 2009 All rights reserved. This content may not be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means, without the prior written permission of the author.

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