The Mini Skirt

June 4, 2013

Mindy Kaling does this thing I love, get ready, because it’s groundbreaking… She wears mini skirts and she tucks her shirt in. Which is, in chubby Brittanyland, a mind blowing concept. I mean, my grandma always told me to tuck my shirt in, but she was old and didn’t know who Shanice was at the […]

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The Summer Chubby Arm Shuffle

May 30, 2013

It’s June and you’re off to your friend’s wedding. It’s, like, 90 degrees out, so you put on your favorite tank top or sundress, grab your keys, and just before you walk out the door, you slip on your trusty cardigan. Because it’s summer and you’re wearing a sweater. You rationalize it like, dude, I’m […]

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Toothless Kid Problems

May 29, 2013

A few weeks ago, Jude lost his front teeth. It was very dramatic, in that, he wouldn’t pull them out and insisted that no one touch them whilst they hang there by a single vein making us all collectively barf our faces off every time he spoke to us. Then they fell out and I […]

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As It Stands

May 23, 2013

I keep meaning to say more about things. I have conversation ADD. Hey I bumped an old person with my car… oh look! Cool Ranch Dorito Tacos! Plus, I’m like day 3 into a fight with Andy that he has no idea we are having. I’m irritated as hell over his ambivalence, but he seems […]

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The Evolution of Spectacle Love

May 20, 2013

When I was in second grade, the school nurse called my parents in for a meeting. I sat outside the infirmary, but the door was cracked enough for me to hear her tell my parents how concerned she was because she’d witnessed me squinting in the library. Except when she said “squinting” I thought she […]

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School’s Out. ALREADY!?

May 17, 2013

This morning I got up and looked at the school calendar, as I am wont to do two hours before the start of school, and I exhaled a sigh of relief that I didn’t have to come up with snack for twenty kids. Last month I sent Wyatt to class with a bag full of […]

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Mermaid Hair

May 14, 2013

Curvy girls have great hair. At least I do. I mean, for so long, it was my only redeeming quality. Well, at least she has great hair…. It’s the “but she’s got such a pretty face” of comments. Whatever, cute hair totally made women’s denim colored stretch slacks acceptable in junior high. I have gotten […]

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Twenty Stitches

May 10, 2013

The following is a totally true and gory story. Also, yes, Andy’s doctor really writes prescriptions for hand jobs, but I don’t think you can actually cash them in at pharmacies. They’re like those coupons you give people on Valentine’s Day when you don’t feel like spending actual money on them. Britt! He never says […]

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The Sprats

May 7, 2013

Jack Sprat could eat no fat. His wife could eat no lean. And so between them both, you see, They licked the platter clean. The other day, out of the blue, Andy asked me if I found him as attractive as I did in high school. My immediate reaction was to laugh, which I did, […]

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Good Morning America

May 6, 2013

I told you why I did it, and now you can see it for yourself. Click here for the full article. I said this on Facebook, but I want to say it here as well… I need to take a moment to just say thank you for all the support. It is an absolute honor […]

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