A Hot Bed of Sexual Insecurities

October 9, 2012

In this moment, my biggest regret in life is not living years 21-24 completely naked. Not having sex with the lights on, and video taping it. Not making out with a lower class drifter in the bottom of a boat and let him sketch nude pictures of me. I could go on, but you know, [...]

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Refinished

October 4, 2012

Where have I been? Oh you know, making furniture. Like Jesus. So, as you may remember, I’ve been a bit of a garage sale whore lately, hunting down some great wood pieces to refinish and introduce into my home in a way that says, hi, I’m super eclectic and artsy. Like if Zoe Dechanel and [...]

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Parenthood & Friendship

September 28, 2012

Admittedly, I’m not good at making friends. Like, I thought I was, and I went about my life thinking I was, but as I age and people’s fucking filters break down, I’ve come to realize that is not the case. I’ve narrowed it down to two basic, yet contradictory, scenarios. 1. I get too close [...]

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Smut and Sinus Infections

September 26, 2012

Any minute now. Come on. Just one more second…. Sneezes into my open mouth. Coughs across my plate. Lingering green snotty face kiss. Alright any moment now…. come onnn….. Yes, good, the kids are all better, running around, wrestling, ready to resume all their 800 extracurricular activities I am stuck schlepping them to, which means [...]

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The Art of Garage Sales

September 21, 2012

I feel like my personalities change with the seasons. Like, in the spring, Andy knows it’s time for Self-Reflective Brittany who wants to do things like try out a new religion or host an exchange student. I’m pretty sure Jesus was reborn during this time, so I’m like, let’s start meditating and opening our home [...]

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Bullied.

September 18, 2012

I’ve felt off for a couple weeks now, and I just want to lay on the floor, stare at the ceiling, and tell you this while the corners of my eyes well up, so come lay down next to me and let me say it all real fast before my voice gets all hiccupy. My [...]

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Dakota Fanning Mattress.

September 17, 2012

We got a new mattress, and it’s basically the most exciting thing that has ever happened in our seven year marriage. We aren’t even having sex in it because we have this crazy new mattress narcolepsy every time we lay on it. The first night we had it I woke up at 3am fully clothed, [...]

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She Sees Dead People. Probably.

September 12, 2012

How are you? I’m ok. Let’s see, what’s new with me… Um, my earring holes closed up, that was a bloody realization in the middle of Anthropology (pssst, I can only fit in their earrings). I finally broke down and bought a pair of Toms. They’re grey. It’s like I’m walking around in feet envelopes. [...]

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Lands’ End & I

September 5, 2012

As you know, I’ve been working with Lands’ End this year as the Spokesperson for their relaunched Plus Size line. So far, it’s been a lot of talking, a lot of traveling, and a lot of learning, for both of us. To date, one of the most amazing aspects of this campaign has been the [...]

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On Amuse Bouche: All Your Dirty Little Secrets

August 31, 2012

Have you confessed yet?

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